In loving memory of Kenis D. Keathley 6/4/81 - 3/27/22 Loving father, husband, brother, friend and firewood hoarder Rest in peace, Dexterday

Your best dad jokes...

Discussion in 'Everything Else (off topic)' started by brenndatomu, Nov 18, 2023.

Page 22 of 23
  1. billb3

    billb3

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2013
    Messages:
    10,481
    Likes Received:
    54,339
    Location:
    SE Mass
    Why did the motorcycle fall over ?




    Because it was too tired.
     
    billb3, Jun 5, 2026
    #421 Top
    T.Jeff Veal, yooperdave, brenndatomu and 2 others like this.
  2. wildwest

    wildwest Moderator

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2014
    Messages:
    30,467
    Likes Received:
    143,406
    Location:
    Wyoming high plains
    two tired?
     
    wildwest, Jun 5, 2026
    #422 Top
    billb3, MikeInMa, T.Jeff Veal and 3 others like this.
  3. Backwoods Savage

    Backwoods Savage Moderator

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2013
    Messages:
    48,516
    Likes Received:
    308,535
    Location:
    Central MI
    Yup, there are only 2 tires on motorcycles. :rofl: :lol:
     
    Backwoods Savage, Jun 6, 2026
    #423 Top
    MikeInMa, T.Jeff Veal, theburtman and 1 other person like this.
  4. Backwoods Savage

    Backwoods Savage Moderator

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2013
    Messages:
    48,516
    Likes Received:
    308,535
    Location:
    Central MI
    In corn maze.jpg
     
    Backwoods Savage, Jun 6, 2026
    #424 Top
    FTG-05, sms4life, MikeInMa and 4 others like this.
  5. yooperdave

    yooperdave

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2014
    Messages:
    35,379
    Likes Received:
    221,762
    Location:
    Michigan's U.P.


    Not always true....

    We used to joke about training wheels for motorcycles. I have seen them in use and just shook my head in disbelief. :headbang:

    Seems to me if you need training wheels for a motorcycle, you have absolutely no business being on one! :handshake:

    [​IMG]
     
    yooperdave, Jun 6, 2026
    #425 Top
    Backwoods Savage, stoveliker, MikeInMa and 4 others like this.
  6. Jeffrey Svoboda

    Jeffrey Svoboda

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2015
    Messages:
    2,742
    Likes Received:
    16,030
    Location:
    Michigan

    Can't say I've seen that before. Absolutely useless!!! Those ain't gonna teach someone how to properly lean into a corner.
     
    Jeffrey Svoboda, Jun 6, 2026
    #426 Top
    Horkn, yooperdave, Backwoods Savage and 5 others like this.
  7. brenndatomu

    brenndatomu

    Joined:
    May 29, 2015
    Messages:
    24,691
    Likes Received:
    160,063
    Location:
    NE Ohio
    Wow...never seen that setup...agreed, useless.
     
    brenndatomu, Jun 6, 2026
    #427 Top
    yooperdave, Backwoods Savage, Jeffrey Svoboda and 3 others like this.
  8. stoveliker

    stoveliker

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2021
    Messages:
    276
    Likes Received:
    1,729
    Location:
    Eastern Long Island
    I finally got a place of my own, my igloo.
    Then my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party.

    Now I'm homeless again.
     
    stoveliker, Jun 9, 2026
    #428 Top
    sms4life, Backwoods Savage, yooperdave and 2 others like this.
  9. Backwoods Savage

    Backwoods Savage Moderator

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2013
    Messages:
    48,516
    Likes Received:
    308,535
    Location:
    Central MI
    Kid jokes.jpg
     
    Backwoods Savage, Jun 13, 2026
    #429 Top
    sms4life, brenndatomu, buZZsaw BRAD and 3 others like this.
  10. stoveliker

    stoveliker

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2021
    Messages:
    276
    Likes Received:
    1,729
    Location:
    Eastern Long Island
    What is the opposite of ladyfingers?



    Mentos
     
    stoveliker, Jun 14, 2026
    #430 Top
    T.Jeff Veal, yooperdave, sms4life and 4 others like this.
  11. billb3

    billb3

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2013
    Messages:
    10,481
    Likes Received:
    54,339
    Location:
    SE Mass
    When my phone battery died I was angry and needed to find an outlet.

    Eyes hurt from excess screen time ?
    There's a nap for that.


    I have a friend who talks to his garden.
    Yes, Jack and the beans talk.
     
    billb3, Jun 14, 2026
    #431 Top
    T.Jeff Veal, yooperdave, MikeInMa and 2 others like this.
  12. Horkn

    Horkn

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2014
    Messages:
    29,096
    Likes Received:
    165,891
    Location:
    SE Wisconsin

    Curry fish in the microwave for the win! Also set a bag of microwave popcorn in the microwave for entirely too long to ensure it burns.
     
    Horkn, Jun 14, 2026
    #432 Top
    T.Jeff Veal, yooperdave, brenndatomu and 3 others like this.
  13. stoveliker

    stoveliker

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2021
    Messages:
    276
    Likes Received:
    1,729
    Location:
    Eastern Long Island
    I lost three fingers of my right hand and asked the doctor if I could still write with it.


    He said "Maybe, but I wouldn't count on it".
     
    stoveliker, Jun 15, 2026
    #433 Top
    FTG-05, Backwoods Savage, Jeffrey Svoboda and 6 others like this.
  14. stoveliker

    stoveliker

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2021
    Messages:
    276
    Likes Received:
    1,729
    Location:
    Eastern Long Island
    Got a new pair of gloves today. But they're both lefts.
    On one hand this is great.
    But on the other hand, it's not right.
     
    stoveliker, Jun 16, 2026
    #434 Top
    FTG-05, billb3, Backwoods Savage and 5 others like this.
  15. stoveliker

    stoveliker

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2021
    Messages:
    276
    Likes Received:
    1,729
    Location:
    Eastern Long Island
    Whoever invented knock-knock jokes should get a no-bell prize

    Pasteurize: too far to see

    Stealing someone's coffee is called mugging

    No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationary

    I put my grandma on speed dial. I call that instagram.
     
    stoveliker, Jun 17, 2026
    #435 Top
    billb3, JD Guy, Backwoods Savage and 5 others like this.
  16. yooperdave

    yooperdave

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2014
    Messages:
    35,379
    Likes Received:
    221,762
    Location:
    Michigan's U.P.
    [​IMG]
     
    yooperdave, Jun 21, 2026 at 6:04 AM
    #436 Top
    Backwoods Savage, brenndatomu, FTG-05 and 5 others like this.
  17. billb3

    billb3

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2013
    Messages:
    10,481
    Likes Received:
    54,339
    Location:
    SE Mass
    Can an orphan eat at a family restaurant ?
     
    billb3, Jun 21, 2026 at 9:11 PM
    #437 Top
    T.Jeff Veal, Backwoods Savage, yooperdave and 3 others like this.
  18. billb3

    billb3

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2013
    Messages:
    10,481
    Likes Received:
    54,339
    Location:
    SE Mass
    Why was mushroom invited to the house party ?

    Because he is a fun gi
     
    billb3, Jun 24, 2026 at 7:34 PM
    #438 Top
    metalcuttr, Backwoods Savage, T.Jeff Veal and 3 others like this.
  19. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2019
    Messages:
    34,152
    Likes Received:
    210,890
    Location:
    North Haven, Connecticut
    Are a ships rest rooms located on the poop deck?

    BO
     
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2026 at 10:50 PM
    buZZsaw BRAD, Jun 24, 2026 at 10:28 PM
    #439 Top
    metalcuttr, Backwoods Savage, T.Jeff Veal and 3 others like this.
  20. stoveliker

    stoveliker

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2021
    Messages:
    276
    Likes Received:
    1,729
    Location:
    Eastern Long Island
    When is a door not a door?


    When it's ajar.




    When does a joke become a dad joke?


    (no, not when it's groan up)


    When the punchline becomes apparent.






    What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?


    A slipper.




    I was once kidnapped by a mime.


    He did unspeakable things to me.
     
    stoveliker, Jun 25, 2026 at 7:15 PM
    #440 Top
    metalcuttr, brenndatomu, Backwoods Savage and 4 others like this.
Page 22 of 23