In loving memory of Kenis D. Keathley 6/4/81 - 3/27/22 Loving father, husband, brother, friend and firewood hoarder Rest in peace, Dexterday

Your best dad jokes...

Discussion in 'Everything Else (off topic)' started by brenndatomu, Nov 18, 2023.

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  1. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

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    A vulture walks onto an airplane with a possum carcass. The flight attendant asks whats that?
    "its my carrion" replies the vulture.
     
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2023
    buZZsaw BRAD, Nov 19, 2023
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  2. Theashhole

    Theashhole

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    Do you guy's enjoy going outdoors?

    I hope so because going out windows is awful!
     
    Theashhole, Nov 19, 2023
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  3. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

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    What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving?

    "quack, quack"
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, Nov 20, 2023
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  4. Screwloose

    Screwloose

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    Yesterday I told my wife to look down her shirt then spell attic.
    She did it and said "what are you 12?"
     
    Screwloose, Nov 20, 2023
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  5. brenndatomu

    brenndatomu

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    :rofl: :lol:
    :thumbs:
     
    brenndatomu, Nov 20, 2023
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  6. Canadian border VT

    Canadian border VT

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    5318008 upside down on calculator
     
    Canadian border VT, Nov 20, 2023
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  7. JRHAWK9

    JRHAWK9

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    Another along those lines we did as kids having fun with calculators...........

    there was 1 girl, she was 16, she had 69 boyfriends and they each fvcked her 3 times. They said she was .............(turn calculator upside down and read it.)

    11669*3 = 35007

    LOL
     
    JRHAWK9, Nov 20, 2023
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  8. wildwest

    wildwest Moderator

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    For better or worse Dad Jokes and puns give me a chuckle. Chuckling is fun for me :)
     
    wildwest, Nov 20, 2023
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  9. wildwest

    wildwest Moderator

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    Esoot?
     
    wildwest, Nov 20, 2023
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  10. brenndatomu

    brenndatomu

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    LOOSE
     
    brenndatomu, Nov 20, 2023
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  11. wildwest

    wildwest Moderator

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    :rofl: :lol:

    (woops, duh)
     
    wildwest, Nov 20, 2023
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  12. yooperdave

    yooperdave

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    That was funnier than the joke!! :rofl: :lol::rofl: :lol::rofl: :lol:
     
    yooperdave, Nov 21, 2023
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  13. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

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    When i was little my mother said to eat my vegetables as they'll put color in my cheeks.

    "i dont want green cheeks mom"!!!
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, Nov 21, 2023
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  14. brenndatomu

    brenndatomu

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    -I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.

    -Where do pirates get their hooks? Second hand stores.

    -Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.
     
    brenndatomu, Nov 21, 2023
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  15. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

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    I was a drill press operator for years...talk about a boring job!
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, Nov 21, 2023
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  16. billb3

    billb3

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    I like telling Dad jokes.
    Sometimes he laughs.
     
    billb3, Nov 21, 2023
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  17. Hammerhead20

    Hammerhead20

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    droe pasta.jpg
     
    Hammerhead20, Nov 22, 2023
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  18. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

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    What is Lassie's favorite vegetable?

    Collie flower (cauliflower)

    BO
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, Nov 22, 2023
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  19. Moparguy

    Moparguy

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    Does your face hurt? It's killing me.

    If a cannibal is late to a dinner party, does he get the cold shoulder?

    Can I get some cheese with that whine?

    In Sweden, all government owned ships are required to have a UPC code printed on the hull. When the ships return to port it helps Scandinavian.
     
    Moparguy, Nov 22, 2023
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  20. Theashhole

    Theashhole

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    I don't know of another thread better fit for this.
    FB_IMG_1700695276756.jpg
     
    Theashhole, Nov 22, 2023
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