A vulture walks onto an airplane with a possum carcass. The flight attendant asks whats that? "its my carrion" replies the vulture.
Yesterday I told my wife to look down her shirt then spell attic. She did it and said "what are you 12?"
Another along those lines we did as kids having fun with calculators........... there was 1 girl, she was 16, she had 69 boyfriends and they each fvcked her 3 times. They said she was .............(turn calculator upside down and read it.) 11669*3 = 35007 LOL
When i was little my mother said to eat my vegetables as they'll put color in my cheeks. "i dont want green cheeks mom"!!!
-I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing. -Where do pirates get their hooks? Second hand stores. -Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.
Does your face hurt? It's killing me. If a cannibal is late to a dinner party, does he get the cold shoulder? Can I get some cheese with that whine? In Sweden, all government owned ships are required to have a UPC code printed on the hull. When the ships return to port it helps Scandinavian.
