In loving memory of Kenis D. Keathley 6/4/81 - 3/27/22 Loving father, husband, brother, friend and firewood hoarder Rest in peace, Dexterday

Your best dad jokes...

Discussion in 'Everything Else (off topic)' started by brenndatomu, Nov 18, 2023.

Page 11 of 15
  1. wildwest

    wildwest Moderator

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2014
    Messages:
    30,140
    Likes Received:
    141,327
    Location:
    Wyoming high plains
    :rofl: :lol::rofl: :lol::rofl: :lol::rofl: :lol::rofl: :lol::rofl: :lol:

    Yeesh, talk about getting the short end of the stick!
     
    Last edited: May 26, 2024
    wildwest, May 26, 2024
    #201 Top
    Screwloose, Chvymn99, metalcuttr and 4 others like this.
  2. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2019
    Messages:
    32,621
    Likes Received:
    199,379
    Location:
    North Haven, Connecticut
    I got into an accident the other morning. Not paying attention and I bumped into the van in front of me. I put on my flashers and I see the door of the van open. Out drops a little person. He walks back to my truck and I roll down the window. "I am not Happy" :mad: he yells in his little person voice.

    "Well then, which one are you" I replied!
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, May 26, 2024
    #202 Top
    Screwloose, FTG-05, Eric VW and 7 others like this.
  3. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2019
    Messages:
    32,621
    Likes Received:
    199,379
    Location:
    North Haven, Connecticut
    Hope we're not belittling you Dave? :rofl: :lol:
     
    Last edited: May 26, 2024
    buZZsaw BRAD, May 26, 2024
    #203 Top
    Screwloose, John D, metalcuttr and 4 others like this.
  4. Hinerman

    Hinerman

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2013
    Messages:
    650
    Likes Received:
    2,670
    Location:
    NE Oklahoma
    My wife told me I am immature...

    I told her to get out of my fort!
     
    Hinerman, May 31, 2024
    #204 Top
    Screwloose, FTG-05, Eric VW and 6 others like this.
  5. Softwood

    Softwood

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2020
    Messages:
    1,082
    Likes Received:
    6,549
    Location:
    Central WI
    You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving.
    You need one if you want to go twice..
     
    Softwood, Jun 9, 2024
    #205 Top
    Screwloose, FTG-05, Eric VW and 6 others like this.
  6. brenndatomu

    brenndatomu

    Joined:
    May 29, 2015
    Messages:
    23,425
    Likes Received:
    150,421
    Location:
    NE Ohio
    Bump for fathers day...
    -I've never been much of a fan of facial hair, but it's starting to grow on me.

    -What did the boy say to his fingers?
    I'm counting on you!

    -If your house feels cold, just go stand in the corner...its always 90* there!
     
    brenndatomu, Jun 16, 2024
    #206 Top
    Screwloose, FTG-05, MikeInMa and 7 others like this.
  7. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2019
    Messages:
    32,621
    Likes Received:
    199,379
    Location:
    North Haven, Connecticut
    Those are good ones Dave! :salute:
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, Jun 16, 2024
    #207 Top
    Screwloose, Eric VW, metalcuttr and 4 others like this.
  8. T.Jeff Veal

    T.Jeff Veal

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2015
    Messages:
    27,001
    Likes Received:
    169,016
    Location:
    Country life, Ga
    Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because she was stuffed..
     
    T.Jeff Veal, Jun 18, 2024
    #208 Top
    Screwloose, brenndatomu, Jeffrey Svoboda and 2 others like this.
  9. T.Jeff Veal

    T.Jeff Veal

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2015
    Messages:
    27,001
    Likes Received:
    169,016
    Location:
    Country life, Ga
    Why can you not trust a tree?
    Because they are a little shady.
     
    T.Jeff Veal, Jun 18, 2024
    #209 Top
    Screwloose, FTG-05, brenndatomu and 4 others like this.
  10. brenndatomu

    brenndatomu

    Joined:
    May 29, 2015
    Messages:
    23,425
    Likes Received:
    150,421
    Location:
    NE Ohio
    [​IMG]
     
    brenndatomu, Jul 13, 2024
    #210 Top
    Screwloose, wildwest, Jeffrey Svoboda and 5 others like this.
  11. T.Jeff Veal

    T.Jeff Veal

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2015
    Messages:
    27,001
    Likes Received:
    169,016
    Location:
    Country life, Ga
    FB_IMG_1721235451599.jpg
     
    T.Jeff Veal, Jul 17, 2024
    #211 Top
    Screwloose, buZZsaw BRAD, metalcuttr and 5 others like this.
  12. metalcuttr

    metalcuttr

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2018
    Messages:
    3,528
    Likes Received:
    25,515
    Location:
    western WA
    metalcuttr, Jul 18, 2024
    #212 Top
    Screwloose, T.Jeff Veal, buZZsaw BRAD and 2 others like this.
  13. Sandhillbilly

    Sandhillbilly

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2019
    Messages:
    4,078
    Likes Received:
    28,908
    Location:
    North central Nebraska
    Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees?


    Because they are really good at it!:D
     
    Sandhillbilly, Jul 19, 2024
    #213 Top
    Screwloose, T.Jeff Veal, buZZsaw BRAD and 5 others like this.
  14. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2019
    Messages:
    32,621
    Likes Received:
    199,379
    Location:
    North Haven, Connecticut
    I found a sprig of parsley with my paycheck so i asked the boss.

    Turns out they're garnishing my wages!
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, Jul 23, 2024
    #214 Top
    Screwloose, metalcuttr, T.Jeff Veal and 1 other person like this.
  15. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2019
    Messages:
    32,621
    Likes Received:
    199,379
    Location:
    North Haven, Connecticut
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, Jul 23, 2024
    #215 Top
    Screwloose, metalcuttr, T.Jeff Veal and 1 other person like this.
  16. metalcuttr

    metalcuttr

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2018
    Messages:
    3,528
    Likes Received:
    25,515
    Location:
    western WA
    Tomato was in a terrible car accident. His friends, Cabbage and Potato rushed him to the hospital emergency room where the doctor worked on him for several hours. The doctor finally came out and said "I have good news and bad news; even though he has lost a lot of juice, he is alive"! "The bad news is that he will be a vegetable the rest of his life!"
     
    metalcuttr, Jul 24, 2024
    #216 Top
    Screwloose, buZZsaw BRAD, Jeffrey Svoboda and 4 others like this.
  17. metalcuttr

    metalcuttr

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2018
    Messages:
    3,528
    Likes Received:
    25,515
    Location:
    western WA
    Tomato was in a terrible car accident. His friends, Cabbage and Potato rushed him to the hospital emergency room where the doctor worked on him for several hours. The doctor finally came out and said "I have good news and bad news; even though he has lost a lot of juice, he is alive"! "The bad news is that he will be a vegetable the rest of his life!"
     
    metalcuttr, Jul 24, 2024
    #217 Top
    MikeInMa likes this.
  18. brenndatomu

    brenndatomu

    Joined:
    May 29, 2015
    Messages:
    23,425
    Likes Received:
    150,421
    Location:
    NE Ohio
    Ok, Ima like that one once, but not twice :D
     
    brenndatomu, Jul 24, 2024
    #218 Top
    Screwloose, WinonaRail, metalcuttr and 5 others like this.
  19. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2019
    Messages:
    32,621
    Likes Received:
    199,379
    Location:
    North Haven, Connecticut
    metalcuttr is getting old :BrianK: so he repeats himself!
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, Jul 24, 2024
    #219 Top
    Screwloose, metalcuttr, T.Jeff Veal and 1 other person like this.
  20. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2019
    Messages:
    32,621
    Likes Received:
    199,379
    Location:
    North Haven, Connecticut
    metalcuttr is getting old :BrianK: so he repeats himself!
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, Jul 24, 2024
    #220 Top
    Screwloose, metalcuttr, T.Jeff Veal and 2 others like this.
Page 11 of 15