Speaking of monkeys, I have 2 aunts born with the Rh+/- situation, both had transfusions. Grandpa told them they both had "monkey blood" and they believed into their 50's. I told them it was because of the Rhesus monkey test and neither of them believe me. Oh well.
Not really a dad joke, but not a funny pic either...and I'm the OP, so... "An old, blind Marine wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?' The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things: 1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. 2. The bouncer is a blonde girl. 3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate. 4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter. 5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?' The blind Marine thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'
What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he was building something? "I need to go the the lumbaa yard for a tuba four! BO
If you ever meet blacksmith in person, hang around for some "Ahnold" impressions around the campfire...best ever!
Hey, you have to admit it.....it's hard for short people to succeed.....they just can't reach their goals.
