Log in or Sign up

In loving memory of Kenis D. Keathley 6/4/81 - 3/27/22 Loving father, husband, brother, friend and firewood hoarder Rest in peace, Dexterday

What's up today (bullchiting) thread.

Discussion in 'Everything Else (off topic)' started by Gasifier, Oct 6, 2013.

Page 4221 of 5245

Canadian border VT

Joined:

Feb 18, 2015

Messages:

17,929

Likes Received:

117,048

Location:

Vermont

TrinitySouth99 said: ↑

Intermittent explosive disorder is a mental illness which can cause a good person to temporarily, suddenly, for no apparent reason, turn into a savage person capable of doing horrible things such as acts of unprovoked violence, so forth. If these episodes occur at the wrong time and the person is not able to calm themselves, it can lead to job loss, jail time and worse. When the episodes subside the person will usually be left confused and horrified at what they have done. If they are not aware of the mental illness, even a person who is not religious may draw the conclusion that they must be possessed by a supernatural force. Once educated to the mental illness, it can be more devastating than relieving because it's often easier to believe that you are possessed and some other entity is responsible for your body's actions than to admit you have a mental illness (and even harder to openly seek help). The disorder can also involve periods of anxiety and varying degrees of impatience and hostility in between the full blown outbursts.

Now, Some religious people may believe that mental illness is just our name for the demons who put us to the test. At any rate, this poem is about a man who the mental illness has pushed to the brink and he has lost all hope.

"I Surrender"

"Tonight's the night, I can't take this anymore.
I've got nothing to go on living for.
There's a demon inside me, and it's taken my life from me.
And it's hurt my friends, it's tortured my family.

For the one who's never given up on me, I thank you, I love you with all my heart.
But I have to give up on myself now, and the time has come that we must part.
I'm sorry that I've hurt you at times, but you're no more confused than I,
I can't always control myself and I don't truly understand why.

I'm going down a tunnel, but I'm going away from the light,
And I couldn't turn around and find my way back home to save my life.
I've been on the edge a long, long time, but I'm jumping off tonight,
The demon's taken everything, ruined my world, ruined my life.
I tried to be like Jekyll, but I'm paying for the crimes of Hyde,
Don't follow me, we won't make it back alive.

I hope you know, though I've hurt you, I'm the one who suffers more.
When the demon leaves for a little while, I cry in shock and horror.
Some cry over spilt milk, I take a fit of rage with less.
I can't contain the anger I didn't know I had repressed.
I hate myself for what I've done, I thought I tried my best.
It's not like me to hurt a soul, I have to be possessed.

I've tried all my life to better myself, but I'm worse as time goes by.
It's about time I surrender, so it's here I say good bye.
I don't know where I'm going, don't know how I'm getting there.
It's all the same now, I can't be at peace anywhere.
I may as well take an empty gun, and point it at a cop.
They'd shoot me or throw me in jail, either way it has to stop.
On the other hand I could take my car, I could just drive far away,
And find a peaceful place to sit and starve until I pass away.

God bless those who gave me far more chances than I deserved,
But I'm going down a road so dark, I can't see where to swerve.
It wasn't me who hurt you, I can't make you understand.
I can't understand myself, let alone explain to another man.
I love you all, I always have, I only wish you well.
But the only light at the end of the tunnel now is the flaming pits of hell.
I have a little running room, but nowhere left to hide.
Don't follow me, we won't make it back alive.

I wake up every night in a cold, sticky sweat.
I can barely sleep for nightmares, my days are plagued by deep regret.
I can't live with myself, but I don't have the guts to rid myself from the earth,
Even though I'd probably be saving so many more from hurt.
I feel nothing at all, and it seems useless to pray.
The demon and the devil probably had my soul from the beginning anyway.
I'm a shell of a man, with an angel on my shoulder, who I know is doing right,
And the grip of an unseen hand too powerful to fight,
Guiding my body to do things that my heart never would or could,
I've resisted it for all these years, but it never did no good.

The angel still talks to me sometimes, in a language I forget.
Her voice is getting fainter, I'll be deaf on that side yet.
They say good always wins, well my angel has lost,
I'd give all I have to help her, but I can't afford the cost.

Last night I dreamt I faced my judgement at the pearly gates...
They never said a word, just started laughing in my face.

You've stayed with me, in spite of it all, because of faith or endless love.
I've only fallen further every time I've tried to rise above.
You've been there for me no matter what, but you can't be with me now.
I'm almost to the end of a dead end road, and you have to turn around.
I'll be six feet under soon, I'm already dead inside.
Don't follow me, we won't make it back alive."

Click to expand...

I disagree I have known these men and fought this demon. Beautiful Sad poignant

Canadian border VT, Jun 3, 2021

#84401 Top

wildwest, Backwoods Savage, savemoney and 1 other person like this.
brenndatomu

Joined:

May 29, 2015

Messages:

23,012

Likes Received:

147,019

Location:

NE Ohio

Canadian border VT said: ↑

I disagree
Click to expand...

With who/what?

brenndatomu, Jun 3, 2021

#84402 Top

mat60, wildwest, Backwoods Savage and 2 others like this.
eatonpcat

Joined:

Oct 5, 2013

Messages:

9,507

Likes Received:

52,572

Location:

Eaton Township, OH

brenndatomu said: ↑

With who/what?
Click to expand...

My guess is he disagrees with SKEETER McCLUSKEY

eatonpcat, Jun 3, 2021

#84403 Top

mat60, wildwest, Backwoods Savage and 3 others like this.
Canadian border VT

Joined:

Feb 18, 2015

Messages:

17,929

Likes Received:

117,048

Location:

Vermont

eatonpcat said: ↑

My guess is he disagrees with SKEETER McCLUSKEY
Click to expand...

Yes. Sorry should have replied instead

Canadian border VT, Jun 3, 2021

#84404 Top

wildwest, Backwoods Savage, eatonpcat and 2 others like this.
brenndatomu

Joined:

May 29, 2015

Messages:

23,012

Likes Received:

147,019

Location:

NE Ohio

eatonpcat said: ↑

My guess is he disagrees with SKEETER McCLUSKEY
Click to expand...

Understandable...

brenndatomu, Jun 3, 2021

#84405 Top

wildwest, Backwoods Savage, eatonpcat and 2 others like this.
Horkn

Joined:

Dec 17, 2014

Messages:

28,356

Likes Received:

159,895

Location:

SE Wisconsin

Canadian border VT said: ↑

Yes. Sorry should have replied instead
Click to expand...

And I agree with you.

Horkn, Jun 3, 2021

#84406 Top

wildwest, Backwoods Savage, eatonpcat and 1 other person like this.
wildwest Moderator

Joined:

Jul 21, 2014

Messages:

29,918

Likes Received:

139,670

Location:

Wyoming high plains

TrinitySouth99 said: ↑

Intermittent explosive disorder is a mental illness which can cause a good person to temporarily, suddenly, for no apparent reason, turn into a savage person capable of doing horrible things such as acts of unprovoked violence, so forth. If these episodes occur at the wrong time and the person is not able to calm themselves, it can lead to job loss, jail time and worse. When the episodes subside the person will usually be left confused and horrified at what they have done. If they are not aware of the mental illness, even a person who is not religious may draw the conclusion that they must be possessed by a supernatural force. Once educated to the mental illness, it can be more devastating than relieving because it's often easier to believe that you are possessed and some other entity is responsible for your body's actions than to admit you have a mental illness (and even harder to openly seek help). The disorder can also involve periods of anxiety and varying degrees of impatience and hostility in between the full blown outbursts.

Now, Some religious people may believe that mental illness is just our name for the demons who put us to the test. At any rate, this poem is about a man who the mental illness has pushed to the brink and he has lost all hope.

"I Surrender"

"Tonight's the night, I can't take this anymore.
I've got nothing to go on living for.
There's a demon inside me, and it's taken my life from me.
And it's hurt my friends, it's tortured my family.

For the one who's never given up on me, I thank you, I love you with all my heart.
But I have to give up on myself now, and the time has come that we must part.
I'm sorry that I've hurt you at times, but you're no more confused than I,
I can't always control myself and I don't truly understand why.

I'm going down a tunnel, but I'm going away from the light,
And I couldn't turn around and find my way back home to save my life.
I've been on the edge a long, long time, but I'm jumping off tonight,
The demon's taken everything, ruined my world, ruined my life.
I tried to be like Jekyll, but I'm paying for the crimes of Hyde,
Don't follow me, we won't make it back alive.

I hope you know, though I've hurt you, I'm the one who suffers more.
When the demon leaves for a little while, I cry in shock and horror.
Some cry over spilt milk, I take a fit of rage with less.
I can't contain the anger I didn't know I had repressed.
I hate myself for what I've done, I thought I tried my best.
It's not like me to hurt a soul, I have to be possessed.

I've tried all my life to better myself, but I'm worse as time goes by.
It's about time I surrender, so it's here I say good bye.
I don't know where I'm going, don't know how I'm getting there.
It's all the same now, I can't be at peace anywhere.
I may as well take an empty gun, and point it at a cop.
They'd shoot me or throw me in jail, either way it has to stop.
On the other hand I could take my car, I could just drive far away,
And find a peaceful place to sit and starve until I pass away.

God bless those who gave me far more chances than I deserved,
But I'm going down a road so dark, I can't see where to swerve.
It wasn't me who hurt you, I can't make you understand.
I can't understand myself, let alone explain to another man.
I love you all, I always have, I only wish you well.
But the only light at the end of the tunnel now is the flaming pits of hell.
I have a little running room, but nowhere left to hide.
Don't follow me, we won't make it back alive.

I wake up every night in a cold, sticky sweat.
I can barely sleep for nightmares, my days are plagued by deep regret.
I can't live with myself, but I don't have the guts to rid myself from the earth,
Even though I'd probably be saving so many more from hurt.
I feel nothing at all, and it seems useless to pray.
The demon and the devil probably had my soul from the beginning anyway.
I'm a shell of a man, with an angel on my shoulder, who I know is doing right,
And the grip of an unseen hand too powerful to fight,
Guiding my body to do things that my heart never would or could,
I've resisted it for all these years, but it never did no good.

The angel still talks to me sometimes, in a language I forget.
Her voice is getting fainter, I'll be deaf on that side yet.
They say good always wins, well my angel has lost,
I'd give all I have to help her, but I can't afford the cost.

Last night I dreamt I faced my judgement at the pearly gates...
They never said a word, just started laughing in my face.

You've stayed with me, in spite of it all, because of faith or endless love.
I've only fallen further every time I've tried to rise above.
You've been there for me no matter what, but you can't be with me now.
I'm almost to the end of a dead end road, and you have to turn around.
I'll be six feet under soon, I'm already dead inside.
Don't follow me, we won't make it back alive."

Click to expand...

God Bless those afflicted with mental illness.

Last edited: Jun 3, 2021

wildwest, Jun 3, 2021

#84407 Top

mat60, Chazsbetterhalf, Backwoods Savage and 3 others like this.
savemoney

Joined:

Oct 3, 2013

Messages:

13,470

Likes Received:

69,186

Location:

Chelsea Maine

Gasifier said: ↑

Am doing so! My wife and I have wanted to screen it in for a loooong time. When it came time to do it this year we talked about it and decided to enclose it with BIG sliding windows. Insulated the walls and will insulate the floor from the underside as well. This will give us a true three season porch and no more being driven inside by bugs. Little bastards!
Click to expand...

You are going to love it. Nice to have that space. Hope you are able to keep it free of un needed stuff. I find too much stuff on my porch and a constant effort to get rid of extras.

savemoney, Jun 3, 2021

#84408 Top

Gasifier, mat60, Chazsbetterhalf and 5 others like this.
Canadian border VT

Joined:

Feb 18, 2015

Messages:

17,929

Likes Received:

117,048

Location:

Vermont

Horkn said: ↑

And I agree with you.
Click to expand...

We have and if in doubt I got your back

Canadian border VT, Jun 3, 2021

#84409 Top

Horkn, savemoney, mat60 and 3 others like this.
bogieb

Joined:

Mar 30, 2015

Messages:

12,127

Likes Received:

73,461

Location:

New Hampshire

Backwoods Savage said: ↑

Not liking what I'm reading about the weather forecast...
Click to expand...

Me neither, supposed to be HHH and moorning lows not much below 70 so no way for the house to cool off. I may have to break out my window A/C for the office and put it in for a whole 3 days (assuming everything goes as planned). I was trying to avoid that, but we'll see. as it depends on how much sun we get also.

bogieb, Jun 4, 2021

#84410 Top

Horkn, savemoney, Midwinter and 4 others like this.
TrinitySouth99

Joined:

May 25, 2016

Messages:

4,198

Likes Received:

33,992

Location:

New Harbour, NFLD

wildwest said: ↑

God Bless those afflicted with mental illness.
Click to expand...

Indeed.

TrinitySouth99, Jun 4, 2021

#84411 Top

Horkn, savemoney, mat60 and 3 others like this.
TrinitySouth99

Joined:

May 25, 2016

Messages:

4,198

Likes Received:

33,992

Location:

New Harbour, NFLD

Yesterday on lunch break my coworker took me to see the place where he grew up, it's right on the corner of a highway off-ramp. The off ramp wasn't there at the time and he said that's why they moved. That spot has gone back to wilderness now although the surrounding general area has turned from being farmland back then to commercial area. We went to look for a car he left there about 50 years ago. It was a 3 cylinder and you mixed the oil with the gas. He parked it there and the trees grew up around it. Of course we didn't expect the car to exactly be in mint condition but we thought it might still be upright and shaped like a car. It's gone away to nothing pretty much. Just a few parts and rusted out pieces of sheetmetal lying on the ground. He doesn't remember the make and model unfortunately.

TrinitySouth99, Jun 4, 2021

#84412 Top

Stephiedoll, Horkn, savemoney and 5 others like this.
Backwoods Savage Moderator

Joined:

Oct 4, 2013

Messages:

46,340

Likes Received:

291,066

Location:

Central MI

Canadian border VT said: ↑

Mine had a concert (she’s in chorus) and at 8:30 this am pulled her wisdom teeth. Liz is afraid of needles, Coming off of the anesthesia, she says dad did I say anything dumb??

my answer Liz This is the time that you can say absolutely anything and everybody will forgive you because you’re coming out of anesthesia. It was a golden opportunity. And you missed it
Click to expand...

Tell Liz this is just one more step taken in life!

Backwoods Savage, Jun 4, 2021

#84413 Top

mat60, Horkn, savemoney and 3 others like this.
lukem

Joined:

Oct 4, 2013

Messages:

11,739

Likes Received:

62,414

Location:

IN

Cicadas are crazy loud here today.

lukem, Jun 4, 2021

#84414 Top

Backwoods Savage, Horkn, savemoney and 3 others like this.
lukem

Joined:

Oct 4, 2013

Messages:

11,739

Likes Received:

62,414

Location:

IN

Got doors and drawer fronts assembled, sanded, and first coat of finish one.

Not the best pic, but you get the idea.

lukem, Jun 4, 2021

#84415 Top

Chazsbetterhalf, Stephiedoll, moresnow and 12 others like this.
mat60

Joined:

Oct 21, 2018

Messages:

2,676

Likes Received:

19,583

Location:

ME

Horkn said: ↑

Yes, it's going to be very hot for some time. View attachment 303968

Glad I got my new boat trailer lights installed. Wetll be headed to the lake both Saturday and Sunday.
Click to expand...

Even going to get hot here soon. Enjoy your weekend on the lake.

mat60, Jun 4, 2021

#84416 Top

Chazsbetterhalf, Backwoods Savage, bogieb and 3 others like this.
mat60

Joined:

Oct 21, 2018

Messages:

2,676

Likes Received:

19,583

Location:

ME

lukem said: ↑

Cicadas are crazy loud here today.
Click to expand...

Yup.. Trying to stay out of that stuff.

mat60, Jun 4, 2021

#84417 Top

Chazsbetterhalf, Backwoods Savage, Horkn and 1 other person like this.
mat60

Joined:

Oct 21, 2018

Messages:

2,676

Likes Received:

19,583

Location:

ME

lukem said: ↑

Got doors and drawer fronts assembled, sanded, and first coat of finish one.

Not the best pic, but you get the idea.

View attachment 304093
Click to expand...

Nice work.

mat60, Jun 4, 2021

#84418 Top

Chazsbetterhalf, Horkn and wildwest like this.
Erik B

Joined:

May 12, 2015

Messages:

5,331

Likes Received:

36,272

Location:

Western Wisconsin

Got up to 96 here today. Beat the old record of 94 set back in 1934. Got my outside work done before lunch. It was only in the mid 80's when I called it a day.

Erik B, Jun 4, 2021

#84419 Top

Chazsbetterhalf, Backwoods Savage, bogieb and 6 others like this.
Canadian border VT

Joined:

Feb 18, 2015

Messages:

17,929

Likes Received:

117,048

Location:

Vermont

Got to 84 I mowed lawn 4 acres; wife put on AC on !! I’m on deck having a
Also re financed house as I bought it before marriage and wanted my beautiful bride on deed!!

Canadian border VT, Jun 4, 2021

#84420 Top

T.Jeff Veal, Chazsbetterhalf, Backwoods Savage and 5 others like this.

(You must log in or sign up to reply here.)

Page 4221 of 5245