What do you want written on your gravestone?

Husband on wife..........Legs closed at last

Wife on husband..........Stiff at last.

 

I knew it would end like this.

 

let me out iv had enough.

 

I only wish I could have the statement on my tombstone that I heard of my Father at his calling hours "he never said an unkind word about anyone"

 

"I disagree with your assessment of my condition".

 

''More saws than I needed,less than I wanted''

''See? Told ya I could quit blabbing"

 

Well since I won't be in any shape to really care, I told my wife I want to be cremated and have my ashes put into a paper bag and just toss me into the ditch on the way home. With the money she saves, she can buy a nice bottle of wine.

 

Just hope she doesn't get a fine for littering.

 

"OK, I admit it....I don't know it all"