A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher of 16 year olds. She notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun, kicking a football. She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him. 'You ok?' she asks. 'Yes,' he replies. 'You can go and play with the other kids, you know,' she says. 'It's best I stay here,' he says. 'Why's that, sweetie?' asks the blonde.. The boy looks at her incredulously and says: "Because I'm the goal keeper !!!
A blonde speeder is pulled over by a blonde police officer. The blonde cop says "I need to see your license". The blonde driver digs through her purse for awhile, and says "I can't find it. What does it look like?". So the cop, making a rectangle with her hands, says "it's rectangular, and has your picture on it". The blonde driver searches through her purse but can't find it. She finally comes up with the only rectangular item, a small mirror. She looks at it, shrugs, and hands it to the blonde cop. The blonde cop looks at it, shrugs, and hands it back to the blonde driver. "Oh, you can go" the blonde cop says. "I didn't realize you were a cop".
Blonde gets a job with the city utilities company; First assignment is to bury new poles. Day one...two poles, other guys eight Day two...one pole, other guys five Day three...nothing...other guys ten. Boss asks why she's not getting more in like the rest of the crew.... Blonde: "Because the other guys left theirs sticking way out of the ground". Same blonde gets transfer to the street department First assignment is road painting crew Day one...two miles, other crew 20 Day two...one mile, other crew 25 Day three...quarter mile, other crew 30 Boss asks why she's constantly behind the other crew Blonde: "Do you have any idea how long it takes to walk back and fourth from the paint can"?
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?" "Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped. "Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car. "Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...." "Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
