Thought for the day...

What most people call human nature is only human habit.

Don’t think of it as being outnumbered, think of it as having a wide target selection.

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a good reason.

Air travel is hours of boredom punctuated by a few brief moments of terror.

No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first and is waiting for it.

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat would keep blowing off.

 

Nature is neutral. Man has wrested from nature the power to make the world a desert or to make the desert bloom. There is no evil in the atom; only in men’s souls. Adlai Stevenson

Inflation hasn’t ruined everything. A dime can still be used as a screwdriver.

No one ever injured his eyesight by looking on the bright side of things.

If advice weren’t free, people would be more willing to keep it to themselves.

When you pray for rain, you must also be willing to put up with some mud.

 

“Winterize your lawn,” the big sign outside the garden store commanded. I’ve fed it, watered it, mowed it, raked it and watched a lot of it die anyway. Now I’m supposed to winterize it? I hope it’s too late. Grass lawns have to be the stupidest thing we’ve come up with outside of thong swimming suits! We constantly battle dandelions, Queen Anne’s lace, thistle, violets, chicory and clover that thrive naturally, so we can grow grass that must be nursed through an annual four-step chemical dependency.

Imagine the conversation the Creator might have with St. Francis about this: “Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there in the Midwest? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle, and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. These plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracted butterflies, honey bees, and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.”

“It’s the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers ‘weeds’ and went to great extent to kill them and replace them with grass” said St. Peter. Then the Lord said, “Grass? But it’s so boring. It’s not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees. It only attracts grubs and sod worms. It’s temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?”

“Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing the grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn” said St. Peter. “The spring rains and cool weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy,” said the Lord.

St Peter answered, “Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it - sometimes twice a week.” The Lord asked, “They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?” Pete answered, “Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.”

“They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?” asked the Lord. "No. Sir. Just the opposite. They pay to throw it away,” said Pete. “Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And when it does grow they cut it off and pay to throw it away?" asked the Lord. “Yes. Sir,” answered Peter. So the Lord then said, “These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work."

Pete answered, “You aren’t going believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast. they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.” So the Lord said, “What nonsense! At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It’s a natural circle of life.”

“You better sit down, Lord,” said Peter. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and then pay to have them hauled away.” The Lord exclaimed, “No! What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter and keep the soil moist and loose?”

Peter said, “After throwing away Your leaves, they go out and buy something they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.” And the Lord then asked, “And where do they get this mulch?” Pete answered, “They cut down trees and grind them up.” The Lord said, “Enough! I don’t want to think about this any more. St. Catherine, you’re in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?” She answered, “Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It’s a real stupid movie about...” The Lord interrupted, “Never mind! I think I just heard the whole story.”

 

When using public campgrounds, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant.

Did you know that one of the main causes of dust is dirt?

Confucius says: Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants.

Nothing is wrong with CA that a rise in the ocean level wouldn’t cure.

It’s nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

Life’s unpredictable: eat dessert first!

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get it’s pants on. Churchill

 

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life too.

I am not yet young enough to know everything.

One critic reported on a book by saying that it’s covers were too far apart.

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? Abe Lincoln

In America, anybody can be president. That’s one of the risks you take. Adlai Stevenson

Copy from one, it’s plagiarism; copy from two, it’s research.

The average person thinks he isn’t.

 

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity: an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. Winston Churchill

If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will avoid one hundred days of sorrow.

Chinese proverb

The truth is always more important than the facts.

There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. Albert Einstein

When the rich wage war, it’s the poor who die.

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. Einstein

You can’t say civilization isn’t advancing for in every war, they kill you in a new way.

 

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. Ben Williams

Even the longest journey begins with a single step. Chinese proverb

Love is like a butterfly. It goes where it pleases and pleases where it goes.

Obstacles and problems are like wild animals. They are cowards but they will bluff you if they can. If they see you are afraid of them, they are liable to spring upon you; but if you look them squarely in the eye, they will slink out of sight.

I always prefer to believe the best of everybody - it saves so much trouble. Rudyard Kipling

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it. Any Rooney

A friend is one who sees through your act and still enjoys the show.