Thought for the day...

A friend is a person who knows all about you, and still likes you.

When everything else fails, so will the duct tape. But have some along just in case.

Watching the winter Olympics, it appears that curling is a cross between bowling and cleaning house.

A man of all seasons is the neighbor who borrows your lawn mower, roto tiller, leaf rake and snow shovel.

A good teacher makes himself progressively unnecessary.

There is nothing which returns to nothing, but all things return dissolved into their elements.

 

Very good. And yes, I can truly say, "This is my wife. She's still everything I'm looking for." For a testament to that, my wife and I will celebrate our 57th wedding anniversary in just a few days. She is still my love.

 

There is a close correlation between getting up in the morning and getting up in the world.

When you jump for joy, make sure nobody moves the ground from beneath your feet.

There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that is your own self.

A cynic is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future.

The biggest problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet sweaty things.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

 

No sense in being pessimistic. It wouldn’t work anyway.

Suppose the Hubble telescope is right, and the universe really is fuzzy.

Without time, everything would happen at once.

Ballerinas are always on their toes. Why don’t they just hire taller ballerinas?

The rat race isn’t so bad if you’re the big cheese.

Always be sincere, even if you don’t mean it.

I can levitate birds, but no one cares.

 

There simply are not enough days in a weekend.

Money was invented so we could know exactly how much we owe.

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat.

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

Too many politicians think that the best way to solve a problem is to spend taxpayer’s money.

If a mouse in plural is mice, then why aren’t grouse called grice?

Marriage is never as bad as it’s painted; and there’s no better way of getting acquainted.

 

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last. Winston Churchill.

Having fun is a lot like insurance. The older you get the more it costs.

You can even make a profit on poverty if you are a politician.

A penny saved is a congressional oversight.

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer.

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved. Helen Keller.

 

If you want to find out how many friends you have, buy a cottage on a lake.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it starts to rain.

In spite of the cost of living, it’s still quite popular.

There is a terrible gap between advice and help.

A jury should decide a case the minute they are shown it, before the lawyers have had a chance to mislead ‘em. Will Rogers.

Some people are like a callous; they always show up when the work is finished.

Always borrow from a pessimist; he never expects it back.