Thought for the day...

- Which letter is silent in the word "Scent,” the S or the C?


-Do twins ever realize that one of them was unplanned?


-Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn't it becalled double V?

 

-100 years ago, everyone owned a horse, and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.


-If you replace "W" with "T" in "What, Where and When", you get the answer to each of them.

 

1) At a movie theater, which armrest is yours?


2) If people evolved from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?


3) Why is there a 'D' in fridge, but not in refrigerator?


4) Who knew what time it was when the first clock was made?

 

VAGARIES OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

-Why does the word "Funeral" start with FUN?
-Why isn't a fireman called a waterman?
-How come Lipstick doesn't do what it says?

 

-If money doesn't grow on trees, how come banks have branches?
-If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
-How do you get off a non-stop flight?

 

-Why are goods sent by ship called CARGO, and those sent by truck called SHIPMENT?

-Why do we put cups in the dishwasher, and dishes in the cupboard?

-Why is it called "Rush Hour" when traffic moves at its slowest then?

 

-How come noses run and feet smell ?


-Why do they call it a TV "set" when there is only one?


-What are you vacating when you go on a vacation?

 

Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash, was one of the greatest political sages this country has ever known.

Some of his sayings:

1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

2. Never squat with your spurs on.

3. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

4. There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

To be continued.

 

5. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

7. Always drink upstream from the herd.

8. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

9. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.

 

10. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

11. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

12. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

13. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back.

14. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.

The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.


That's all from Will.