Thought for the day...

They say that doing good for others pays great dividends. This fact was brought out in bold one day when a man was driving to a job interview and running a bit late. Suddenly he saw a middle aged lady stranded with a flat tire. His conscience made him stop to change the tire. Then he thought he could just forget about getting the job. However, he did go and filled out the application. When he went to the personnel director’s office, he did get the job! The personnel director hired him on the spot. She was the lady whose tire had been changed by a stranger that morning! (from Reader’s Digest)


It is not a lack of love but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.


Be true to your work, your love and your friends.

 

ACHTUNG! Alles touristen und non-technischen looken peepers! Das machine control is nicht fur gerfinger-poken und mittengrabben. Oderwise is easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowen fuse, und poppencorken mit spitzensparken. Der machine is diggen by experten only. Is nicht fur geverken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseenen keepen das cotten picken hands in das pockets, so relaxen und watchen das blinkenlights.

If you read the above, you are above normal.



The wise man smiles with approval as he watches other people committing the sins and follies he himself had to commit in order to become wise.

 

A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Rembrandt. They would often sit together and admire the great works of art. When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son.

About a month later, just before Christmas, there was a knock at the door A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands. He said, 'Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly. He often talked about you, and your love for art.' The young man held out this package. 'I know this isn't much. I'm not really a great artist, but I think your son would have wanted you to have this.'

The father opened the package. It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young man. He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the personality of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears. He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for the picture. 'Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your son did for me. It's a gift.'

The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every time visitors came to his home he took them to see the portrait of his son before he showed them any of the other great works he had collected. The man died a few months later. There was to be a great auction of his paintings Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the great paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one for their collection.

On the platform sat the painting of the son. The auctioneer pounded his gavel. 'We will start the bidding with this picture of the son. Who will bid for this picture?' There was silence. Then a voice in the back of the room shouted, 'We want to see the famous paintings. Skip this one.'

But the auctioneer persisted. 'Will somebody bid for this painting. Who will start the bidding? $100, $200?' Another voice angrily. 'We didn't come to see this painting. We came to see the Van Gogh's, the Rembrandt's. Get on with the real bids!' But still the auctioneer continued. 'The son! The son! Who'll take the son?'

Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room. It was the longtime gardener of the man and his son. 'I'll give $10 for the painting.' Being a poor man, it was all he could afford. 'We have $10, who will bid $20?' 'Give it to him for $10’ came a shout. ‘Let's see the masters.'

The auctioneer persisted, '$10 is the bid, won't someone bid $20?' The crowd was becoming angry. They didn't want the picture of the son. They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections. The auctioneer pounded the gavel. 'Going once, going twice, Sold for $10!' A man sitting on the second row shouted, 'Now let's get on with the collection!' The auctioneer laid down his gavel. 'I'm sorry, the auction is over.'

'What about the paintings?' he was asked. 'I am sorry’ the auctioneer said. ‘When I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the will. I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation until this time. Only the painting of the son would be auctioned. Whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire estate, including the paintings. The man who took the son gets everything!'

Much like that man, God gave His son to die on the cross over 2,000 years ago. His message today is: 'The son, the son, who will take the son?' Because, you see, whoever takes the Son gets everything. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” That, my friend, is love.

 

I am back home.


Bad decisions from Reader’s Digest, July, 1985

Sam Phillips from Memphis, TN sold his exclusive contract to RCA Victor Records. He thus forfeited royalties, as it turned out, on more than a billion records. The contract was with on Elvis Presley.

June, 1938. The first issue of Action Comics introduced Superman to the world. He was the creation of Joe Shuster and Jerry Siegel. Believing that a birdman in the hand was worth two in the bush, sold all rights to their publishers…..for $1.30

In 1978 a work gang on the Chesterfield canal near Retford, England, dredged up the end of a massive iron chain. Deciding that it represented a hazard to navigation, the foreman attached the chain to a winch on his boat and reeled it in. The workers then went home after a day’s work well done. Later that evening, the police discovered the vessel sitting high and dry on the canal bed. The work gang had, literally, pulled the plug on the canal.

During the Battle of Spotsylvania in the Civil War, Union Major General John Sedgwich stood gazing out over a parapet. His officers urged him to duck, but the general ignored the warnings. “Nonsense,” he declared. “They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist...”

In 1889 the editor of the San Francisco Examiner advised a then unknown author that his submitted manuscript was “simply ridiculous to any San Franciscan of ordinary intelligence.” The author refused to change the article and shortly thereafter left town. In 1907 the Examiner learned that the author had won the Nobel Prize in literature. His name was Rudyard Kipling.

To help catch up with most developed Western nations, the Nigerian government launched the “Third National Development Plan in 1975. For new roads, airfields and buildings, some 16 million tons of cement were ordered and vessels from all over Europe began arriving with the building material. Unfortunately, the planners had not considered that their docks could handle only a tiny fraction of this amount per month. It would have taken several years to unload just the cement that was, at one point, waiting off the Logos Port.

Arthur Clarke, the science-fiction author, conceived the communications satellite in 1945. He published specifications in Wireless World, but then turned his hand to fiction. COMSTAT acquired the fruits of Clarke’s foresight and is not one of the world’s largest communications corporations. In recognition of his contribution, associates gave the inventer-writer five shares, with a quarterly dividend income of $.87

In the mid-1960’s General Motors launched its “compact” Chevrolet Nova in the Mexican market. It was only when the appallingly bad sales figures came in that someone in Detroit discovered that no va means, “it doesn’t go” in Spanish.

Fresh from making American Graffiti, one of the highest grossing pictures of all time, young film director George Lucas decided that his next project would be a sci-fi movie, tentatively titled Star Wars. Despite his recent success, nobody seemed to relish the project. A lukewarm 20th Century Fox eventually gambled $10 million dollars in development funds, but Lucas had to raise the rest of the money himself. All the other established film companies rejected it totally. By the time the film was completed, Lucas was flat broke and exhausted. But he, not Fox, owned the merchandising and sequel rights. Two sequels later, The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi have grossed an estimated $750 million dollars.

 

The light turned yellow just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection.....dropping her cell phone and makeup.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious-looking police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally....I assumed you had stolen the car."

 

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

 

Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we are already there?

Why are they called " stands" when they are made for sitting?