Thought for the day...

HANDBOOK FOR LIFE

Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants..
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy.
5. Make time to pray
6. Play more games.
7. Read more books than you did in 2008.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree...

Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
32. Do the right thing! Because it is the right thing to do.
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change..
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up..
37. The best is yet to come.
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

 

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.

 

You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.
You cannot lift the wage earner up by pulling the wage payer down.
You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.
You cannot build character and courage by taking away people's initiative and independence.
You cannot help people permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves.

... Abraham Lincoln

 

Some people have trouble with all those 'shall's' and 'shall not's' in the Ten Commandments. Folks just aren't used to talking in those terms. So, in middle Tennessee they translated the 'King James' into ' Jackson County ' language....no joke (posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church in Gainesboro , TN ).

(1) Just one God
(2) Put nothin' before God
(3) Watch yer mouth
(4) Git yourself to Sunday meetin'
(5) Honor yer Ma & Pa
(6) No killin'
(7) No foolin' around with another fellow's gal
(8) Don't take what ain't yers
(9) No tellin' tales or gossipin'
(10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff

 

Bumper-Stickers Seen On Military Bases…


“Except For Ending Slavery, Fascism, Nazism and Communism, WAR has Never Solved Anything.”

“ U.S. Marines – Certified Counselors to the 72 Virgins Dating Club.”

“Interrogators can’t water-board dead guys”

 

Recently, in a large city in France a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said, "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?" A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.


To Whom It May Concern, Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans.) They have an active sex life, get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas,

seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex? Just look at them; where is it? Therefore, they don't have kids either. Not to mention, who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store? The choice is perfectly clear to me: I want to be a whale.


P..S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and a piece of chocolate with my friends. With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, ¨Good grief, look how smart I am!¨

 

In the Bible it is written: Galatians 6:7

Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man sow; that he also shall reap.


Here are some men and women who mocked God:

John Lennon. During an interview (1966) with an American magazine he said, “Christianity will end, it will disappear. I do not have to argue about that. I am certain. Jesus was okay but his subjects were too simple. Today we (the Beatles) are more famous than Him.

Lennon later was shot 6 times.

Trancredo Neves, (President elect of Brazil) During the campaign, he said if he got 50,000 votes from his party, not even God would remove him from the Presidency.

He got the votes but a day before being made President he got sick and died.

Cazuza, a bi-sexual Brazilian composer, singer and poet. During a show in Rio de Janeiro, while smoking a cigarette, puffed some smoke into the air and said, “God, that’s for you.” He died at the age of 32 of lung cancer.

The man who built the Titanic: After the construction of the ship a reporter asked him how safe the ship would be. With an ironic tone he said, “Not even God can sink it.” It sunk on its maiden voyage.

Marilyn Monroe was visited by Billy Graham after a presentation of a show. He said the Sprit of God had sent him to preach to her. After listening to him, Marilyn said, “I don’t need your Jesus.” A week later she was found dead in her apartment.

Bon Scott, singer. The ex-vocalist of the group AC/DC, on one of his 1979 songs sang, “Don’t stop me. I’m going all the way down; down the highway to Hell.” On 2/19/80 he was found dead; choked in his own vomit.

In Campinas, Brazil a group of friends, drunk, went to pick up another friend. The mother accompanied the girl to the car and was so worried about the drunkeness of her friends that she said to her daughter, “My daughter.Go with God and may He protect you.” She responded, “Only if He travels in the trunk because inside here, it is already full.” Hours later news came that they had been in a terrible wreck and everyone in the car was dead. The car could not be recognized as what kind of a car it was, but surprisingly, the trunk was intact. The police said there should be no way the trunk could be intact. To their surprise, inside the trunk was a crate of eggs; none was broken.

Christine Hewitt, Jamacian journalist and entertainer said the Bible was the worst book ever written. In June 2006 she was found burnt beyond recognition in her car.

 

Communication is important:

One day Mr. Robert Safford wanted some new business cards so he had his secretary call in the order. A few days later the order came but the name was Mr. Robert Stafford. So the secretary called the business card company and told them the order was wrong for Mr. Safford. Just take out the “t” and it would be fine. Sure enough, a few days later the new business cards came, for a Mr. Rober Stafford.

Every year the office of a lady registrar for a large high school circulates among faculty members a list of graduating seniors, asking the teachers to check for spelling and accuracy. This roster is used to prepare diplomas and other graduation related material.

One of the more unusual names that ended up on the corrected version of the list was “John Dasingdog Smith.” It turned out that a teacher had penciled in the student’s middle initial on the circulating copy: “D as in dog.”

An executive at a company headquarters was appointed to the board and moved into a new office. His secretary ordered a name plate for his door, being careful to explain that the man’s last name was hyphenated: D. Marriott-Smalley. “D period space, Marriott hyphen Smalley,” she directed the signmaker. The name plate arrived engraved: “D. Marriott-e.”

Yes, communication is very important even on little things.

 

The principle function of March is to use up the winter weather that wouldn’t fit into February.


Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up!

 

PUNS FOR EDUCATED MINDS

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Circumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.