Thought for the day...

If we don’t make some changes, the status quo will remain the same.

You probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.

I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.

The Interstate Highway System, which came out of the Eisenhower Administration, requires at one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.

The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The term “the whole 9 yards” came from WWII fighter pilots in the Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got “the whole 9 yards.”

 

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

In Cleveland, Ohio, it’s illegal to catch mice without a hunting license.

Subject: Finally An Explanation

On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty." And God agreed.

On the second day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten." So God agreed (sigh).

On the third day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life span." The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay? And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I'll give you twenty years." Man said, "What? Only twenty years" No way man. Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back, and the ten the dog gave back and the ten the monkey gave back, that makes eighty, okay?" "Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy, and do nothing; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. Life has now been explained.

 

An email I received.

Subject: Special People In Your Life:


To the special people in my life. I am sending this to you to see how many of you actually read your email. Is anyone really out there? Your response will be interesting! Here it goes:

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But...only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being a part of my life. May God hold you in the palm of His hand and Angels watch over you. Smile and stop here if you're not into this.

 

By the year 2000, the machines will be producing so much that everyone on the U.S. will, in effect, be independently wealthy. Time magazine, 1966

This ‘telephone’ has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device has no value to us. Western Union internal memo, 1876

In 1901, Wilbur Wright, talking to his brother Orville, said, “Man will not fly for 50 years.” This was right after a failed flying experiment. Their first successful flight was in 1903

Wit ought to be a glorious treat, like caviar. Never spread it around like marmalade. Noel Coward

A recession is when you neighbor loses his job. A depression is when you lose yours. Panic is when your wife loses hers.

Not the fastest horse can catch a word spoken in anger. Chinese proverb

An optician in Illinois dubbed his business “The Eyeful Tower.”

 

A coffee shop in an Atlanta bookstore goes by the name of “Cup and Chaucer.”

In Orange, CA, there’s a plant store called “Holly Wood and Vines.”

Love is blind—marriage is an eye-opener.

Seated next to a comic on an airplane flight, the two struck up a conversation. The comic told of his career in show business, etc. The other fellow said, “I bet that when people find out you are a comedian they ask you to be funny.” The comic said, “That happened once, when I was flying somewhere with an architect. He asked me to be funny, so I asked him to build me a house.”

Nothing seems to bring on an emergency as quickly as putting money aside in case of one.

One perplexed father said, “I’ve got a TV, cable, two telephone lines, a cell phone, a computer with broadband Internet service and a fax machine. Yet, my kids tell me I’m out of touch.”

 

Job applicant to personnel interviewer: “What do I call those gaps in my work history? Quality time!”

At home one evening, Ken, an accountant, received several phone calls from Frank, a doctor, who said he was doing his own taxes this year and simply needed “a little information.” Frank explained to Ken that he was too busy to go to his office for help. After hanging up from the 4th call, Ken phoned Frank back. “My wife is in pain,” Ken said. “I know she needs to have her appendix removed. Since you’re probably too busy to come over, all I need is a little information. Where, exactly, do I make the incision?”

A lady in a drugstore asked the pharmacist, “What do you have for graying hair?” He looked directly at her and replied, “Nothing but the highest respect, Ma’am.”

Why is it that at a hotel when you want to sleep, they want to make up your room at 7:00 a.m.? And when you want to check in at 5:00, they haven’t yet made up the room?

Why is a Chinese fortune cookie written in English? Because it is an American invention!

A warm smile is the universal language of kindness

 

Alfred Hitchcock once received a letter from a man who wrote that his wife, after seeing the film, Psycho, was afraid to bathe or shower. He asked for suggestions as to what he should do. Hitchcock wrote back, “Sir, have you considered sending your wife to the dry cleaners?”

When I was younger, in the movies when a couple burst into the scene they broke into a song. Today they all jump into bed.

You’ve heard the warning, “This show contains adult language. Viewer discretion advised.” Okay, let’s have some real adult language: Character. Integrity. Commitment. Forgiveness. Sacrifice. Determination. Moral values. Now there is some real adult language!

Being alone is not the same thing as loneliness any more than being with people is a guarantee against it.

Stress the possibilities, not the impossibilities.

A bad stone shows up!

 

The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him his own. Benjamin Disraeli

Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them? Lincoln

Every man should have a fair-sized cemetery in which to bury the faults of his friends.

The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will. Vince Lombardi

“I am reminded of the story of Marshal Lyautey, who once asked his gardener to plant a tree. The gardener objected that the tree was slow growing and would not reach maturity for a hundred years. Marshall replied, ‘In that case, there is not time to lose. Plant it this afternoon.’”

Spring is when you feel like whistling even when your shoe is full of slush.

 

How can I tell what I think until I see what I say?

Should a woman give birth after 35? Thirty-five is enough kids for anybody. Gracie Allen

Gravity always wins.

Enjoy life; this is not a dress rehearsal.

In games where chance plays a role, we tend to chalk up our losses to the luck of the draw and our victories to cleverness.

Stupidity has saved many a man from insanity.