I'm far from any amount of an expert in this thing, but if she makes more than you, doesn't the person in a divorce that makes more $ end up paying support to the other person? That's why there's prenups.
I kinda did the same (tried to "be nice" that is) and its the one thing I regret...I just laid down and tried to not ruffle feathers...still paying for that 10 years later...doing OK, but still paying. I regret not at least putting up a fight...even if that meant I got nothing to show for it other than making a couple boat payments for some lawyer, I would still feel better having tried... Anyone that petty, has to be miserable...
F&B I'm not trying to hijack your thread by any means. Saying it sucks what your going through, well, is an understatement. The recurring theme though keeps coming back to the almighty dollar, and it seems her lust for it. I agree with sentiments such as.. Not the only quotable portion of this thread, just the most recent. I cannot fathom why money is so very important to some people, it seems their only "measure of success". Having money does not indicate success in my personal opinion. One can make money in any variety of ways, the easiest being the most illegal usually. I don't have that much, certainly no large degree of financial wealth. But I take solace in the fact that I do my job well, my employer is a good man, and that I make my way in the world honestly. I hope that you can soon get this leech out of your life, and can begin to clean up the mess that has been made. Both mentally and spiritually. Side story.. I worked at a golf course a few times as a part time gig, back in the day, playing valet. It never surprised me after a while when the best tippers drove Chevrolet's, Ford's, Dodge's The cheapest drove the Lexus's, Mercede's and such. Now, it was nice to park those cars also But other than the fact that I drove them some short distance to park them, yeah.. no tip from them. Working people always tip better, they know what it's like to WORK for their money.
I have been preaching to parents I know. Get them interested in trades. A bachelors degree in all but specialized applications will be...ordinary, in the near future. I don't know why kids are reluctant to get involved with their hands these days. I was a constant PITA for my dad when he was trying to work on stuff, being curious...and in the way. Good intentions and he was fairly patient with me. While I did not necessarily learn how to fix things exactly at that time, I did learn that a man of 'normal' means was capable of fixing his own: washer or dryer, furnace, automobiles, roof, lawn mowers, power equipment, etc. I was subjected to a fair amount of cursing as I would watch, which later on I figured out was just part of the 'normal repair process'. I feel pretty strongly about self-reliance. I think that's what kids don't seem to be concerned about. Someone else will fix their problems for them, no need to worry. I am quite proud of the things I can do on my own, even though the scope of which is not extremely deep. I don't like it when I have to rely on someone else to accomplish something. It happens, but I try my best to limit the occurrences. It's nice to have friends and family to help out when needed, rather than paying someone.
OMG. I'm so happy to hear this because I've been both white and blue collar (but sometimes wear red or yellow or black or anything else). I see no difference between the two as they are both human beings. It is just that some have their nose stuck in the air like they are smelling limberger cheese or something. But I've seen that in both! I know plenty of blue collars that really think their chit don't stink but they are still no better than you or I. They are still human like us and still have to wipe their own backsides. For the most part I don't pay much attention to the masses or the asses. I just realize we'll always have them. I'll ignore them when I can but there are times when they do rile me...
Just remenber pennies are your best freind. You want to have them counted and get a receipt. I made all of my payments to my ex that way. Also pay as the come up. After the second or third time having to count and verify all those pennies they tend to quit arguing over the little things.
Couple comments as I think about this thread. This "thing" I say thing because she does not deserve to be called a lady is a miserable "thing". I would seriously think about retaining a different attorney and recant your desire for support, say that you were misguided. I can almost guess that you will have to be firm and you will be put in some difficult spots with your kids as they age because you can bet she will not hesitate to use them as pawns, given her actions already. I dealt with some of this and actually had to distance myself from my kids because they had so much smoke blown up their a$$es. They will grow older and wiser.
If nothing is on a signed piece of paper, don't give up any chips, until you're at the table and the judge is ready to deal cards. Sent from my SM-T280 using Tapatalk
It has been an interesting ride, for sure. My first attorney failed to show up for my very first court date: a pretrial hearing in front of the judge. I fired him and hired a new attorney at a rate of $275/hr. So I feel at this point, I am stuck with him. But it took him several hours to get up to speed on my case. I am trying to get my $2000 retainer back from my first lawyer, who was just diagnosed with terminal cancer, to no avail. I am now at well over $5000 in lawyer fees, and we haven’t even been to court yet! Mediation was scheduled a couple of weeks back, but the future ex cancelled, for some reason. I know she is up to something, but I don’t know what. We are tentatively rescheduled for mediation on May 4. Looking forward to getting this wrapped up. It will cost me dearly, but I have come to accept that.
And we shall continue to pray for you as you navigate......blessings come through times of adversity I have come to realize.
Just read Michigan is not a community property state but an “equitable distribution” state. Even though you have a lawyer, I would do my homework on this. Here is one site: Michigan Property Rights FAQs Also, demand full custody of the children and at least push for joint custody. Otherwise you will find out another form of divorce rape. A friend in New Jersey had his ex wife to drag him back in court for more child support; his current support is $800 a month for one child. The thing is, women don't spend the child support fully on the children. How many children need $800 a month for room and board and clothes? Oh, and often the courts makes the man pay for health insurance for the child. I am not saying to be mean but you need to fight your ex wife as hard as she is fighting you and if your lawyer is not fighting just as hard as her lawyer then get a new one.
The amount you pay is based on your level of income. $800 is nothing for a guy making sevens figures. Plenty of private schools in North Jersey that are $40,000/year. I do agree that many men and women are culpable abusing child support.
