A year ago yesterday my alarm went off at 2am and I got on the road to Maine to learn what I could of a dear friend who had shot themselves intentionally the night before. After navigating the police department to know which hospital, and then a hospital that claimed repeatedly to not have them, I finally made it bedside, and the waiting began. There isn’t much to do at a time like that, as it is way too late, and so you pass the time by wracking yourself with what-ifs and why-didn’t-I’s. After a day, I started reading on suicide, to try to understand how things went so wrong so fast (spoiler – they often don’t go wrong so fast – often it is years of accumulation, and even previous unknown attempts). I’m not writing this because I need support, but because it is National Suicide Prevention Month, and perhaps there are things you don’t know. The best resource I found was “A Handbook for Survivors of Suicide” (an online PDF, written by someone who’s wife took her life at 33 years of age). It is an excellent resource for survivors, but also for those less familiar with the psychological state of one contemplating suicide (depression, a sense of isolation and helplessness are common, and alcoholism is sometimes involved). I was lucky, as they are still with us today and are fighting to regain a better life. But, this past year, and the years ahead, could have been so very different for so many people if my friend had received help beforehand. Learn the signs and offer support because trust me, the pain of survivors is 'special', in a bad way.
Remembering the life of Peter Qualey 1948 - 2020 This just happened last week here. Very good man. My wife was good friends with his daughters growing up. He had cancer that had no cure and did not want the disease to rule his death, he was in control. Took a nice long ride and found a place to end it. Sad but honorable in my opinion.
I had a relative who whenever life was a challenge would say he was going to kill him self. I never believed him. Well he ended up shooting him self and died. I was ok with it because he was 87 with health problems but it really freaked out the women involved. It’s also not the most pleasant thing to find or have to clean up after.
