In loving memory of Kenis D. Keathley 6/4/81 - 3/27/22 Loving father, husband, brother, friend and firewood hoarder Rest in peace, Dexterday

Irreverent but clean jokes, let's hear them.

Discussion in 'Everything Else (off topic)' started by Greenstick, Feb 19, 2022.

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  1. Erik B

    Erik B

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    Keep them coming Dave:handshake::rofl: :lol::thumbs:
     
    Erik B, Mar 9, 2022
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  2. Gary_602z

    Gary_602z

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    How do you catch an unique rabbit?
    Unigue behind them!

    How do you catch a tame rabbit?
    The tame way!

    Gary
     
    Gary_602z, Mar 9, 2022
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  3. Stihl Kicking

    Stihl Kicking

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    When chemists die, they barium.


    Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
    .
    .
     
    Stihl Kicking, Mar 10, 2022
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  4. Eric VW

    Eric VW Moderator

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    Ynuck, Ynuck, Ynuck.
     
    Eric VW, Mar 10, 2022
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  5. Backwoods Savage

    Backwoods Savage Moderator

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    Father O’Grady was saying his goodbyes to the parishioners after his Sunday morning service as he always does. Mary Clancey came up to him in tears. “What’s bothering you so, dear?” inquired the priest. “Oh Father, I’ve got some terrible news to report.” replied Mary. “Well, what is it Mary?” asked the priest. “Well, my husband passed away last night, Father.” said Mary. “Oh Mary,” said the priest. “That’s terrible. Tell me Mary, did he have any last requests?” asked the priest. “Well, yes he did, Father.” replied Mary. “What did he request, Mary?” asked the priest. Mary replied, “All he said was, ‘Please, Mary, put that gun down.”’
     
    Backwoods Savage, Mar 10, 2022
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  6. yooperdave

    yooperdave

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    Wouldn't that be more like "Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck"? Just saying.....:whistle: :thumbs: :rofl: :lol::rofl: :lol::rofl: :lol::rofl: :lol: Finally gotcha! :p :salute:


    [​IMG]
     
    yooperdave, Mar 10, 2022
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  7. Stihl Kicking

    Stihl Kicking

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    Three old hard of hearing guys.

    1st guy says, it's windy
    2nd guy says, no it's thursday
    3rd guy says, I'm thirsty too! Let's grab a beer.
     
    Stihl Kicking, Mar 10, 2022
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  8. Eric VW

    Eric VW Moderator

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    Savor the flavor Dave… you won’t get many chances.



    Disclaimer - no beers were consumed during the time of my original post… fat finger followed by 2 copy/pastes and then Dave happens along. :picard:
    :rofl: :lol:

    Edit- I posted that repetitive misspelling pretty late…
    There were beers.
     
    Eric VW, Mar 10, 2022
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  9. MasterMech

    MasterMech The Mechanical Moderator

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    How do you check the sex of an ant?

    Toss it in water, if it sinks, girl ant. If it floats, .........
     
    MasterMech, Mar 10, 2022
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  10. ammoaddict

    ammoaddict

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    Ha ha, took me a second on that one.

    Sent from my moto g(7) power using Tapatalk
     
    ammoaddict, Mar 10, 2022
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  11. brenndatomu

    brenndatomu

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    X2 :rofl: :lol:
     
    brenndatomu, Mar 10, 2022
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  12. yooperdave

    yooperdave

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    Ya gonna tell him if he ain't any quicker he'll either be left behind or become a victim? :whistle:
     
    yooperdave, Mar 10, 2022
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  13. yooperdave

    yooperdave

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    Is this your meme? :rofl: :lol::rofl: :lol::rofl: :lol:

    [​IMG]
     
    yooperdave, Mar 10, 2022
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  14. Eric VW

    Eric VW Moderator

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    Something like that. :D
     
    Eric VW, Mar 10, 2022
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  15. Backwoods Savage

    Backwoods Savage Moderator

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    Twas in a restaurant they met;
    That is, Romeo and Juliet.
    But he had no cash to pay the debt;
    So Romeo’d what Juliet.
     
    Backwoods Savage, Mar 11, 2022
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  16. Stihl Kicking

    Stihl Kicking

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    I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. However, he says he can stop any time.
    .
    How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
    .
    .
     
    Stihl Kicking, Mar 11, 2022
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  17. metalcuttr

    metalcuttr

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    Three guys drinking at a table in a saloon. One, dressed in a short riding jacket and black pants and boots, tosses off his glass of fine Tennessee Bourbon, stands up and grabs the almost full bottle, throws it in the air, draws his gun and blasts it to shards. The piano player dives behind the piano, the other patrons hit the floor and the bar gals all scream! The shooter glowers around the room and says " I'm from Tennessee and we have lots of bourbon in Tennessee"!
    A while later, the second drinker, dressed in a floral coat, Gucci jeans and designer running shoes, finishes the last of his glass of light Napa rose', throws the almost full bottle into the air and blows it to pieces. The girls scream and everyone hits the floor! He flips his perfect hair back and says "I'm from California and we have lots of wine in California"!
    After quite a while, the third drinker, dressed in blue jeans, plaid flannel shirt and Vibram soled hiking boots, drinks the last of his mug of dark micro brewed beer, slowly stands, draws both his guns and blows the Californian out of his chair and to the floor. Everyone screams and dives. The shooter frowns around the room and says "I'm from Washington State! We have lots of Californians in Washington State"!!!
     
    Last edited: Mar 11, 2022
    metalcuttr, Mar 11, 2022
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  18. Backwoods Savage

    Backwoods Savage Moderator

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    Buying quality used cars is a little like buying oats. If you want nice, clean, fresh oats, you must pay a fair price. However, if you can be satisfied with oats that have already been run through a horse, they come much cheaper.
     
    Backwoods Savage, Mar 12, 2022
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  19. Stihl Kicking

    Stihl Kicking

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    Road apples are cheaper yet!
     
    Stihl Kicking, Mar 12, 2022
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  20. brenndatomu

    brenndatomu

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    Cars that have been run through road apples and not cleaned tend to be pretty reasonable too! o_O :rofl: :lol:
     
    brenndatomu, Mar 12, 2022
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