In loving memory of Kenis D. Keathley 6/4/81 - 3/27/22 Loving father, husband, brother, friend and firewood hoarder Rest in peace, Dexterday

Irreverent but clean jokes, let's hear them.

Discussion in 'Everything Else (off topic)' started by Greenstick, Feb 19, 2022.

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  1. yooperdave

    yooperdave

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    What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall?










    DAM!
     
    yooperdave, Mar 4, 2022
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  2. Backwoods Savage

    Backwoods Savage Moderator

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    Winning isn’t everything. Winning and gloating and rubbing their noses in it ... that’s everything!



    Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
     
    Backwoods Savage, Mar 5, 2022
    #42 Top
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  3. Stihl Kicking

    Stihl Kicking

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    A pet store near us is having a sale, buy one dog, get one flea.
     
    Stihl Kicking, Mar 6, 2022
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  4. bushpilot

    bushpilot

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    Then his buddy called him a dumb bass.
     
    bushpilot, Mar 6, 2022
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  5. Backwoods Savage

    Backwoods Savage Moderator

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    Two people get married and later the wife decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, “Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.” The artist says, “But you aren’t wearing any of that jewelry.” “I know,” she said. “It’s in case I die before my husband does. I’m sure he will remarry right away and I want his new wife to go nuts looking for all the jewelry.”
     
    Backwoods Savage, Mar 6, 2022
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  6. Erik B

    Erik B

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    How do you get down off an elephant?











    You don't. You get down off of a duck.:whistle:
     
    Erik B, Mar 6, 2022
    #46 Top
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  7. Nitrodave

    Nitrodave

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    I don’t get it ….
     
    Nitrodave, Mar 6, 2022
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  8. brenndatomu

    brenndatomu

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    Down...should maybe be "goose" instead of duck...
     
    brenndatomu, Mar 6, 2022
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  9. Nitrodave

    Nitrodave

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    Got it now …. It’s been a long day …:emb:
     
    Nitrodave, Mar 6, 2022
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  10. yooperdave

    yooperdave

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    The three Dave's joke support school! :picard:
     
    yooperdave, Mar 6, 2022
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  11. metalcuttr

    metalcuttr

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    What is the difference between a Harley Davidson motorcycle and a Hoover vacuum cleaner?.................................The position of the dirtbag!

    What do Rottweilers and Harley Davidson motorcycles have in common?..................They both like to ride home in the back of a pickup truck!
     
    metalcuttr, Mar 6, 2022
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  12. Sirchopsalot

    Sirchopsalot

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    If Vladamir and the short rocket man were stranded on a desert island. Who would be better off?









    We would.
    (Apply to any 2 people you don't care for for the local flavor of that joke)
     
    Sirchopsalot, Mar 6, 2022
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  13. Backwoods Savage

    Backwoods Savage Moderator

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    Three couples were in a minivan on a trip to the Great Smoky Mountain National Park. One couple is from Michigan, one is from Arizona and the other is from Kentucky. They stop at a little roadside cafe for a late breakfast. After the waitress serves them, the husband from Michigan says to his wife, “Could you pass the honey, honey?” His wife smiles as she hands him the honey. Then the guy from Arizona says to his wife, “Could you pass me the sugar, sugar?” His wife smiles as she hands him the sugar. The guy from Kentucky sits there thinking for a moment while the others look on expectantly. So he looks at his wife and says, “Wanna pass me the bacon, pig?”
     
    Backwoods Savage, Mar 7, 2022
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  14. MikeInMa

    MikeInMa

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    An oldie but goodie. The joke, that is. :whistle:
     
    MikeInMa, Mar 7, 2022
    #54 Top
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  15. Stihl Kicking

    Stihl Kicking

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    upload_2022-3-7_9-27-51.jpeg
     
    Stihl Kicking, Mar 7, 2022
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  16. Stihl Kicking

    Stihl Kicking

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    upload_2022-3-7_13-24-51.png
     
    Stihl Kicking, Mar 7, 2022
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  17. Stihl Kicking

    Stihl Kicking

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    A horse walked into a bar, the bar tender asked why the long face?
     
    Stihl Kicking, Mar 7, 2022
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  18. Sirchopsalot

    Sirchopsalot

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    Wood pecker walked into a bar and said, "is the bartender here?"
     
    Sirchopsalot, Mar 7, 2022
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  19. Erik B

    Erik B

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    I thought it was a termite and not a wood pecker:rofl: :lol::rofl: :lol:
     
    Erik B, Mar 7, 2022
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  20. Gary_602z

    Gary_602z

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    Teacher:
    Johnny can you give us the definition of fascinate?
    Little Johnny:
    My Aunt Janet's sweater has 10 buttons but she can only fasten 8.

    Gary
     
    Gary_602z, Mar 7, 2022
    #60 Top
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