Funny stories about wood burning

Loon · Aug 16, 2019

FatBoy85 said: ↑

If I had a funny story, it would either be the fact that I collect wood and those who see me come home with it for the first few times in that regard will laugh to the funny farm. It doesn’t last too long when they see the benefits.

I often build big fires, basically out of habit. You’d think I’d have learned this by now but not so. Tying my story with my name here, we have a massive fireplace down at our family camping lot on the West Coast, Ocean Shores WA.
Meet Fatboy.

Fatboy was likely a water tank for one of the ships at the Naval Yard as they dismantled some into scrap. Anyways cut in half and then put into the ground made a great heater, almost...too good. We often don’t split our wood smaller than we need to, so it gets to be a good sized fire inside pretty quickly. Metal on this is probably close to a 1/4 inch to a half inch in some places. View attachment 220090
This one shows the best in context. The area has three railroad ties that line the “pit” which often fills up with rain at the corners. I’ve started fires that will dry out the rain and get it hot enough that it seems to stop raining. These railroad ties are about some 2-3 feet from this thing. Remember this bit continued below.
View attachment 220089 View attachment 220088
Several times, we’ll have had some stupid cold spitting rain that gets everyone under that gazebo and hollering at me to stoke up the damm thing. Logs. Cue that Ren and Stimpy song amount of logs! Well in about 30 mins we’re all standing farther than Pluto from this thing, fire shooting out of that smoke stack, and spots so hot they will be a cherry red, hot enough to make the creosote bubble from these ties. The smell is bad enough and gets doused when we figure out where. I don’t know if this is funny but I still make fires so hot, it’ll drive people out away from this thing and you can feel heat from some 10-15 feet away in the strong winds.
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Now that's a stove Fatty!

Loon · Aug 16, 2019

BigPapi said: ↑

That is a heck of a story, FatBoy! Glad to see you posting.

My most recent funny story was year before last, our last year using the owb.. I had a wheelbarrow full of wood, headed to the boiler, which is on a high spot in the back yard. Navigating the small hill up to the owb, I lost my footing and went down under the wheelbarrow full of wood, being that it was winter and the path was thoroughly iced over.. So there I lay, under a whole mess of oak splits, temps struggling to be above 0, wondering... If something was broken, how long would it take for Mrs Papi to realize I hadn't come in yet, and something was wrong? I promptly went through a self-check, got up and loaded the boiler, and then didn't talk about it for a few days. After that, I made it a point to tell the Mrs when I was going out..
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Couldn't of been some light Basswood eh Papi?

FatBoy85 · Aug 16, 2019

BigPapi said: ↑

That is a heck of a story, FatBoy! Glad to see you posting.

My most recent funny story was year before last, our last year using the owb.. I had a wheelbarrow full of wood, headed to the boiler, which is on a high spot in the back yard. Navigating the small hill up to the owb, I lost my footing and went down under the wheelbarrow full of wood, being that it was winter and the path was thoroughly iced over.. So there I lay, under a whole mess of oak splits, temps struggling to be above 0, wondering... If something was broken, how long would it take for Mrs Papi to realize I hadn't come in yet, and something was wrong? I promptly went through a self-check, got up and loaded the boiler, and then didn't talk about it for a few days. After that, I made it a point to tell the Mrs when I was going out..
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Thanks! I actually got out to the place for the matter and long overdue too.

jo191145 · Aug 17, 2019

I have a couple. First when I was building my house I had an idea for the wood siding but couldn’t afford to have it custom cut. So I did it myself. Spent a good part of the winter in the basement of an unheated house milling 10” cedar boards on a router table. Lots of sawdust.
Someone had given me an old pot belly stove so I figured the easiest way to get rid of truckloads of sawdust was burn it.
Works fine as long as you let it burn down before opening the door again.
Yep blew the door right off that stove and put me on my butt

A little further along in the construction I come home from work and open the front door. House Is filled with smoke.
See the wife and step father on their knees trying to light the large fireplace. Both in rapt attention to the smoldering flame but oblivious to the smoke pouring out above their heads. Gently reminded them they needed to open the damper

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Funny stories about wood burning

Loon

Loon

FatBoy85

jo191145