I had decided to sit this year’s Black Friday event out. However; as I sat drowsily after consuming the Thanksgiving feast perusing the many Black Friday flyers that had been brought in, I spied a beautiful shiny toaster oven. This oven I must have and so I resolved myself to trekking out in the early morning hours to snare one. When morning came I found myself crawling out of bed at 8:30 am instead of the ungodly hour of 5:00 am. I debated on if it was worthwhile to get ready and go now that it was so late; most likely all of the toaster ovens had already been snatched up by other Black Friday hounds. However, I recalled that beautiful shiny toaster oven that was the object of my desires and I decided I had to give it a try. As I made my way through The Big Box, the carnage from the Black Friday hounds was extensive; a tornado would not have done as much damage to the merchandise displays. My expectations of getting my beautiful shiny toaster oven decreased with each step as I made my way back to the small appliances. I was sure in my heart that I would not be taking home my beautiful shiny toaster oven. However, as I turned the corner there; all alone on an otherwise empty shelf, was my beautiful shiny toaster oven beckoning me to take it home. I was overjoyed at my good fortune. Then out of the corner of my eye I noticed another person had entered the area. Turning my head I came face to face with my octogenarian opponent from Black Friday 2017. However, she had not come to Black Friday alone; as I was to learn later, she had brought her mother along for backup. I could tell that she was here for the same purpose, to make the beautiful shiny toaster oven her own. However, I was not about to give up without a fight. I had bested her before and I was sure I could again; even if she had her mother as backup. As we faced off, circling each other to try and gain an advantage, the mother lunged at me. Dam, I had thought her 89 year old daughter could scrap but I was in for a surprise; her mother was like a wildcat on steroids. The mother placed me in a choke hold and her daughter came in for the kill; they thought they had me for sure. However, I had a few tricks they were not expecting and I broke the choke hold the mother had me in. A few swift moves on my part sent them both limping out of the shop nursing their injuries. As for me, I was now the proud owner of a beautiful shiny toaster oven.
The sad part is that it really happens. True story; two women were fighting over a composition school notebook. One reaches into her handbag and pulls out a gun and points it at the other woman. Over a notebook.
