As I Age...............................

AS I AGE, I REALIZE THAT:

1. I talk to myself, because sometimes I need expert
advice.

2. Sometimes I roll my eyes out loud.

3. I don't need anger management...I need people to
stop pizzing me off.

4. My people skills are just fine... It's my tolerance of
idiots that needs work.

5. The biggest lie I tell myself is "I don't need to write
that down, I'll remember it."

6. When I was a child I thought nap time was
punishment... Now it's like a mini vacation.

7. The day the world runs out of wine or beer is just too
terrible to think about.

8. Even duct tape can't fix stupid, but it can muffle the
sound!

9. Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the
dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and
three sizes smaller!

10. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put
them on my knees

11. When the kids text me "plz" which is shorter than
please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes".

12. At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room
and remembering what I came in there for.

13. I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights".

14. I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks!

 

Now, morning wood is something that goes in the stove.

 

1/2 of a Viagra tablet every night so I only get it part way up and not pi$$ on my boots, too..................

 

Oh, I thought it kept you from rolling out of bed.

 

Fix-a-Flat +Miracle Gro=Viagra

Gary

 

That may be a good survival skill.

 

Certainly negates the need for the chocolate ex-lax double fudge brownies...................

 

Speaking of viagra.....my wife and I still laugh as my Mom heard a commercial for Cialis stating it worked for 36 hours. She says can you imagine that thing sticking up for 36 hours......Mom's 86 and Dad's 91.....lol

 

When you think about it "The Alternative to Getting Old is a lot Worse Than Getting Old"

 

You know your getting old, when someone asks how old are you and you have to think about it