In loving memory of Kenis D. Keathley 6/4/81 - 3/27/22 Loving father, husband, brother, friend and firewood hoarder Rest in peace, Dexterday

A bit of humor!

Discussion in 'Everything Else (off topic)' started by savemoney, Nov 9, 2013.

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  1. yooperdave

    yooperdave

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    You're not serious, are you?
     
    yooperdave, Mar 25, 2016
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  2. concretegrazer

    concretegrazer

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    concretegrazer, Mar 25, 2016
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  3. yooperdave

    yooperdave

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    With that kind of memory, every joke is a new one!
     
    yooperdave, Mar 25, 2016
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  4. yooperdave

    yooperdave

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    yooperdave, Mar 25, 2016
    #944 Top
    wildwest likes this.
  5. MikeSs

    MikeSs

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    Yes.
    The other one i am on is about cars. Along the lines of my avitar.
    There seems to be many out there.
     
    MikeSs, Mar 25, 2016
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  6. MasterMech

    MasterMech The Mechanical Moderator

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    Seldom. :loco: :crazy::p
     
    MasterMech, Mar 25, 2016
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  7. XXL

    XXL

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    A couple of old guys were golfing when one mentioned that he was going to go to Dr. Steinberg for a new set of dentures in the morning.
    His elderly buddy remarked that he, too, had gone to the very same dentist two years before.
    "Is that so?" asked the first old guy. "Did he do a good job?"
    The second oldster replied, "Well, I was on the golf course yesterday when a guy on the next fairway hooked a shot. The ball must have been going at least 180 mph when it slammed me right in the testicles."
    The first old guy was confused and asked, "What the hell does that have to do with your dentures?"
    "It was the first time in two years that my teeth didn't hurt."
     
    XXL, Mar 26, 2016
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  8. wildwest

    wildwest Moderator

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    wildwest, Mar 26, 2016
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  9. wildwest

    wildwest Moderator

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    Oh Dennis, no worries. This is a joke thread:) You cannot predict what might offend someone or invision how to word a joke. Too many people get a kick out of your posts here regardless of the content. I personally get a needed chuckle from all the jokes here. Especially yours. They can ignore your jokes if needed, right?
     
    wildwest, Mar 26, 2016
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  10. bocefus78

    bocefus78

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    bocefus78, Mar 26, 2016
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  11. MasterMech

    MasterMech The Mechanical Moderator

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    I call BS. :rofl: :lol:

    (This a repeat but one worth posting again)

    If a married couple argue and the man later admits that his wife was right, is he still wrong? :sherlock: :heidi:
     
    MasterMech, Mar 26, 2016
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  12. rottiman

    rottiman

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    +2..............your so right. There is a VERY SMALL % both here and in the world who really need to relax.......a unfortunate by-product of our P/C society as it is unfolding day by day..........
     
    rottiman, Mar 26, 2016
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  13. bocefus78

    bocefus78

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    bocefus78, Mar 26, 2016
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  14. bocefus78

    bocefus78

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    :rofl: :lol:
     

    Attached Files:

    bocefus78, Mar 26, 2016
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  15. bocefus78

    bocefus78

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    "Let me call a buddy..." CdqgufQUMAANUHa.jpeg
     
    bocefus78, Mar 26, 2016
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  16. bocefus78

    bocefus78

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    We live in a world where things need to be explained in ways that shouldn't be required. sue.jpg
     
    bocefus78, Mar 26, 2016
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  17. concretegrazer

    concretegrazer

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    concretegrazer, Mar 26, 2016
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  18. Backwoods Savage

    Backwoods Savage Moderator

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    Okay. You asked for it.

    Hip replacement.jpg Whipped cream.JPG




    Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

    Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

    When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

    The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

    Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'




    If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?




    What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?



    I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?
     
    Backwoods Savage, Mar 26, 2016
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  19. colin.p

    colin.p

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    I don't care who you are, that's funny right there.

     
    colin.p, Mar 26, 2016
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  20. yooperdave

    yooperdave

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    Thanks for posting again Backwoods Savage ! Just knew you'd come through.
    One of your jokes reminded me of something.

    The federal government did a study on diarrhea. Yup, it was back in the 70's and i think it was close to 50 million dollars were appropriated for it.
    Anyway, after 7 months of studies and tests, the only conclusion they came up with is that diarrhea is in your genes.

    [​IMG]
     
    yooperdave, Mar 26, 2016
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