In loving memory of Kenis D. Keathley 6/4/81 - 3/27/22 Loving father, husband, brother, friend and firewood hoarder Rest in peace, Dexterday
  1. The Annual Tradition is Back!!!! It's time for our Annual Firewood Hoarders Club Secret Santa Gift Exchange! Deadline is: Sign Up will be closed on Saturday November 9th at Midnight (central time) Official FHC 2024 Secret Santa Gift Exchange

Your best dad jokes...

Discussion in 'Everything Else (off topic)' started by brenndatomu, Nov 18, 2023.

Page 2 of 12
  1. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2019
    Messages:
    29,401
    Likes Received:
    175,563
    Location:
    North Haven, Connecticut
    A vulture walks onto an airplane with a possum carcass. The flight attendant asks whats that?
    "its my carrion" replies the vulture.
     
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2023
    buZZsaw BRAD, Nov 19, 2023
    #21 Top
    Chaz, WinonaRail, Sirchopsalot and 10 others like this.
  2. Theashhole

    Theashhole

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2021
    Messages:
    681
    Likes Received:
    4,271
    Location:
    Osceola, In
    Do you guy's enjoy going outdoors?

    I hope so because going out windows is awful!
     
    Theashhole, Nov 19, 2023
    #22 Top
    Chaz, WinonaRail, Sirchopsalot and 10 others like this.
  3. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2019
    Messages:
    29,401
    Likes Received:
    175,563
    Location:
    North Haven, Connecticut
    What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving?

    "quack, quack"
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, Nov 20, 2023
    #23 Top
    Chaz, Hinerman, Sirchopsalot and 10 others like this.
  4. Screwloose

    Screwloose

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2017
    Messages:
    4,980
    Likes Received:
    28,733
    Location:
    SE Wisconsin
    Yesterday I told my wife to look down her shirt then spell attic.
    She did it and said "what are you 12?"
     
    Screwloose, Nov 20, 2023
    #24 Top
    Chaz, TurboDiesel, Eric VW and 10 others like this.
  5. brenndatomu

    brenndatomu

    Joined:
    May 29, 2015
    Messages:
    21,610
    Likes Received:
    136,326
    Location:
    NE Ohio
    :rofl: :lol:
    :thumbs:
     
    brenndatomu, Nov 20, 2023
    #25 Top
    Chaz, TurboDiesel, Eric VW and 8 others like this.
  6. Canadian border VT

    Canadian border VT

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2015
    Messages:
    17,205
    Likes Received:
    111,665
    Location:
    Vermont
    5318008 upside down on calculator
     
    Canadian border VT, Nov 20, 2023
    #26 Top
    Chaz, Eric VW, Moparguy and 5 others like this.
  7. JRHAWK9

    JRHAWK9

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2018
    Messages:
    672
    Likes Received:
    3,394
    Location:
    Wisconsin
    Another along those lines we did as kids having fun with calculators...........

    there was 1 girl, she was 16, she had 69 boyfriends and they each fvcked her 3 times. They said she was .............(turn calculator upside down and read it.)

    11669*3 = 35007

    LOL
     
    JRHAWK9, Nov 20, 2023
    #27 Top
    Chaz, Moparguy, eatonpcat and 4 others like this.
  8. wildwest

    wildwest Moderator

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2014
    Messages:
    28,820
    Likes Received:
    132,286
    Location:
    Wyoming high plains
    For better or worse Dad Jokes and puns give me a chuckle. Chuckling is fun for me :)
     
    wildwest, Nov 20, 2023
    #28 Top
    Chaz, TurboDiesel, Moparguy and 4 others like this.
  9. wildwest

    wildwest Moderator

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2014
    Messages:
    28,820
    Likes Received:
    132,286
    Location:
    Wyoming high plains
    Esoot?
     
    wildwest, Nov 20, 2023
    #29 Top
    Chaz, Moparguy, metalcuttr and 4 others like this.
  10. brenndatomu

    brenndatomu

    Joined:
    May 29, 2015
    Messages:
    21,610
    Likes Received:
    136,326
    Location:
    NE Ohio
    LOOSE
     
    brenndatomu, Nov 20, 2023
    #30 Top
    Chaz, Moparguy, metalcuttr and 5 others like this.
  11. wildwest

    wildwest Moderator

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2014
    Messages:
    28,820
    Likes Received:
    132,286
    Location:
    Wyoming high plains
    :rofl: :lol:

    (woops, duh)
     
    wildwest, Nov 20, 2023
    #31 Top
    Chaz, TurboDiesel, Moparguy and 5 others like this.
  12. yooperdave

    yooperdave

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2014
    Messages:
    32,793
    Likes Received:
    199,526
    Location:
    Michigan's U.P.


    That was funnier than the joke!! :rofl: :lol::rofl: :lol::rofl: :lol:
     
    yooperdave, Nov 21, 2023
    #32 Top
    Chaz, TurboDiesel, Screwloose and 9 others like this.
  13. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2019
    Messages:
    29,401
    Likes Received:
    175,563
    Location:
    North Haven, Connecticut
    When i was little my mother said to eat my vegetables as they'll put color in my cheeks.

    "i dont want green cheeks mom"!!!
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, Nov 21, 2023
    #33 Top
    Chaz, WinonaRail, Screwloose and 5 others like this.
  14. brenndatomu

    brenndatomu

    Joined:
    May 29, 2015
    Messages:
    21,610
    Likes Received:
    136,326
    Location:
    NE Ohio
    -I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.

    -Where do pirates get their hooks? Second hand stores.

    -Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.
     
    brenndatomu, Nov 21, 2023
    #34 Top
    Chaz, WinonaRail, Screwloose and 9 others like this.
  15. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2019
    Messages:
    29,401
    Likes Received:
    175,563
    Location:
    North Haven, Connecticut
    I was a drill press operator for years...talk about a boring job!
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, Nov 21, 2023
    #35 Top
    Chaz, WinonaRail, Screwloose and 8 others like this.
  16. billb3

    billb3

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2013
    Messages:
    10,023
    Likes Received:
    51,483
    Location:
    SE Mass
    I like telling Dad jokes.
    Sometimes he laughs.
     
    billb3, Nov 21, 2023
    #36 Top
    Chaz, WinonaRail, Screwloose and 7 others like this.
  17. Hammerhead20

    Hammerhead20

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2023
    Messages:
    1,473
    Likes Received:
    12,248
    Location:
    Ontario
    droe pasta.jpg
     
    Hammerhead20, Nov 22, 2023
    #37 Top
    Chaz, WinonaRail, Screwloose and 6 others like this.
  18. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2019
    Messages:
    29,401
    Likes Received:
    175,563
    Location:
    North Haven, Connecticut
    What is Lassie's favorite vegetable?

    Collie flower (cauliflower)

    BO
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, Nov 22, 2023
    #38 Top
    Chaz, WinonaRail, metalcuttr and 5 others like this.
  19. Moparguy

    Moparguy

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2017
    Messages:
    1,121
    Likes Received:
    8,130
    Location:
    TN
    Does your face hurt? It's killing me.

    If a cannibal is late to a dinner party, does he get the cold shoulder?

    Can I get some cheese with that whine?

    In Sweden, all government owned ships are required to have a UPC code printed on the hull. When the ships return to port it helps Scandinavian.
     
    Moparguy, Nov 22, 2023
    #39 Top
    Chaz, metalcuttr, Screwloose and 3 others like this.
  20. Theashhole

    Theashhole

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2021
    Messages:
    681
    Likes Received:
    4,271
    Location:
    Osceola, In
    I don't know of another thread better fit for this.
    FB_IMG_1700695276756.jpg
     
    Theashhole, Nov 22, 2023
    #40 Top
    Chaz, Moparguy, Woodpusherpro and 5 others like this.
Page 2 of 12