In loving memory of Kenis D. Keathley 6/4/81 - 3/27/22 Loving father, husband, brother, friend and firewood hoarder Rest in peace, Dexterday

Your best dad jokes...

Discussion in 'Everything Else (off topic)' started by brenndatomu, Nov 18, 2023.

Page 13 of 15
  1. MikeInMa

    MikeInMa

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2016
    Messages:
    14,025
    Likes Received:
    99,643
    Location:
    Southern Worcester county
    How much was Santa charged for parking?




    Nothing - it was on the house.
     
    MikeInMa, Dec 19, 2024
    #241 Top
    Screwloose, billb3, Sirchopsalot and 9 others like this.
  2. yooperdave

    yooperdave

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2014
    Messages:
    33,728
    Likes Received:
    207,601
    Location:
    Michigan's U.P.
    Where do cowboys cook their meals?





    On the range. :p
     
    yooperdave, Jan 8, 2025
    #242 Top
    Screwloose, Sirchopsalot, T.Jeff Veal and 6 others like this.
  3. Sicilian Suspect

    Sicilian Suspect

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2024
    Messages:
    77
    Likes Received:
    636
    Location:
    Savannah Georgia
    Did you hear about the Polish Olympian that won a gold medal???



    He was so happy, he had it bronzed!
     
    Sicilian Suspect, Jan 10, 2025
    #243 Top
    Screwloose, T.Jeff Veal, wildwest and 6 others like this.
  4. brenndatomu

    brenndatomu

    Joined:
    May 29, 2015
    Messages:
    22,773
    Likes Received:
    145,184
    Location:
    NE Ohio
    Recently got thrown out of the local park for lining up all their squirrels according to height...said they didn't like my critter sizing...
     
    brenndatomu, Feb 24, 2025
    #244 Top
    Screwloose, T.Jeff Veal, Sirchopsalot and 4 others like this.
  5. T.Jeff Veal

    T.Jeff Veal

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2015
    Messages:
    25,766
    Likes Received:
    159,249
    Location:
    Country life, Ga
    FB_IMG_1740443965284.jpg
     
    T.Jeff Veal, Feb 25, 2025
    #245 Top
    Screwloose, wildwest, FTG-05 and 7 others like this.
  6. yooperdave

    yooperdave

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2014
    Messages:
    33,728
    Likes Received:
    207,601
    Location:
    Michigan's U.P.
    What is the number one use for pigskin?















    Covering the outside of a pig. :p
     
    yooperdave, Feb 26, 2025
    #246 Top
    Screwloose, wildwest, Sirchopsalot and 6 others like this.
  7. Sirchopsalot

    Sirchopsalot

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2020
    Messages:
    3,147
    Likes Received:
    19,138
    Location:
    medium city in CT
    Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
    Inside a dog, its too dark to read.
     
    Sirchopsalot, Mar 5, 2025
    #247 Top
    Screwloose, billb3, wildwest and 6 others like this.
  8. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2019
    Messages:
    31,639
    Likes Received:
    191,950
    Location:
    North Haven, Connecticut
    If you were trapped in an elephants stomach, how would you get out?

    Keep running and running and running until you're all pooped out!
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, Mar 5, 2025
    #248 Top
    Screwloose, wildwest, Backwoods Savage and 5 others like this.
  9. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2019
    Messages:
    31,639
    Likes Received:
    191,950
    Location:
    North Haven, Connecticut
    They were out of clay pigeons at the skeet range and substituted cow patties instead.

    Guess it was a crap shoot!

    BO
     
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2025
    buZZsaw BRAD, Mar 8, 2025
    #249 Top
    Screwloose, wildwest, Backwoods Savage and 5 others like this.
  10. brenndatomu

    brenndatomu

    Joined:
    May 29, 2015
    Messages:
    22,773
    Likes Received:
    145,184
    Location:
    NE Ohio
    Screenshot_20250308-205951.png
     
    brenndatomu, Mar 8, 2025
    #250 Top
    41FanForLife, Screwloose, wildwest and 7 others like this.
  11. metalcuttr

    metalcuttr

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2018
    Messages:
    3,388
    Likes Received:
    24,344
    Location:
    western WA
    The 13 going on 35 year old girl from next door came over while I was working on the boat. "Are you getting ready to go fishing" she asked? "Yes, out here in the Sound" says me. "What kind of fish?" "Lingcod" I replied. "Are you going to bring some "Preparation H" to put on your bait to attract them" she asked? "Why in the world would I put hemorrhoid ointment on my bait" I queried? "Well, you are trying to catch Bottom Fish she replied!:picard:.......She has probably been listening to some of buZZsaw BRAD 's jokes! (This is a true story)
     
    metalcuttr, Mar 9, 2025
    #251 Top
    41FanForLife, Screwloose, billb3 and 10 others like this.
  12. yooperdave

    yooperdave

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2014
    Messages:
    33,728
    Likes Received:
    207,601
    Location:
    Michigan's U.P.

    She's a good one!
     
    yooperdave, Mar 10, 2025
    #252 Top
    41FanForLife, Screwloose, wildwest and 5 others like this.
  13. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2019
    Messages:
    31,639
    Likes Received:
    191,950
    Location:
    North Haven, Connecticut
    What do you call a female personal injury lawyer?

    Sue

    BO
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, Mar 17, 2025
    #253 Top
    41FanForLife, Screwloose, metalcuttr and 3 others like this.
  14. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2019
    Messages:
    31,639
    Likes Received:
    191,950
    Location:
    North Haven, Connecticut
    Did it hit the spot? No wait it was Spot! :rofl: :lol:
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, Mar 17, 2025
    #254 Top
    Screwloose, metalcuttr, yooperdave and 2 others like this.
  15. MikeInMa

    MikeInMa

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2016
    Messages:
    14,025
    Likes Received:
    99,643
    Location:
    Southern Worcester county
    MikeInMa, Mar 22, 2025
    #255 Top
    Screwloose, Backwoods Savage, metalcuttr and 2 others like this.
  16. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2019
    Messages:
    31,639
    Likes Received:
    191,950
    Location:
    North Haven, Connecticut
    Why don't you tell an egg a joke?

    It might crack it up!

    BO

    Why was the guy standing on one leg at the ATM? He was checking his balance
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, Mar 26, 2025
    #256 Top
    Screwloose, Backwoods Savage, metalcuttr and 3 others like this.
  17. billb3

    billb3

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2013
    Messages:
    10,248
    Likes Received:
    52,810
    Location:
    SE Mass
    Did he let her know she is a keeper ?
     
    billb3, Mar 27, 2025
    #257 Top
    Screwloose, Backwoods Savage, buZZsaw BRAD and 2 others like this.
  18. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2019
    Messages:
    31,639
    Likes Received:
    191,950
    Location:
    North Haven, Connecticut
    What do you call a crocodile detective...

    ...an investigator!

    BO
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, Mar 29, 2025
    #258 Top
    Screwloose, Backwoods Savage, metalcuttr and 3 others like this.
  19. brenndatomu

    brenndatomu

    Joined:
    May 29, 2015
    Messages:
    22,773
    Likes Received:
    145,184
    Location:
    NE Ohio
    FIFY :D
     
    brenndatomu, Mar 29, 2025
    #259 Top
    Screwloose, wildwest, Backwoods Savage and 3 others like this.
  20. brenndatomu

    brenndatomu

    Joined:
    May 29, 2015
    Messages:
    22,773
    Likes Received:
    145,184
    Location:
    NE Ohio
    Recently replaced our rooster with a duck...now we always wake up at the quack of dawn! :D
     
    brenndatomu, Apr 7, 2025
    #260 Top
    Screwloose, yooperdave, Eric VW and 6 others like this.
Page 13 of 15