In loving memory of Kenis D. Keathley 6/4/81 - 3/27/22 Loving father, husband, brother, friend and firewood hoarder Rest in peace, Dexterday

Your best dad jokes...

Discussion in 'Everything Else (off topic)' started by brenndatomu, Nov 18, 2023.

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  1. wildwest

    wildwest Moderator

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    :rofl: :lol::rofl: :lol::rofl: :lol::rofl: :lol::rofl: :lol::rofl: :lol:

    Yeesh, talk about getting the short end of the stick!
     
    Last edited: May 26, 2024
    wildwest, May 26, 2024
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  2. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

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    I got into an accident the other morning. Not paying attention and I bumped into the van in front of me. I put on my flashers and I see the door of the van open. Out drops a little person. He walks back to my truck and I roll down the window. "I am not Happy" :mad: he yells in his little person voice.

    "Well then, which one are you" I replied!
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, May 26, 2024
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  3. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

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    Hope we're not belittling you Dave? :rofl: :lol:
     
    Last edited: May 26, 2024
    buZZsaw BRAD, May 26, 2024
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  4. Hinerman

    Hinerman

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    My wife told me I am immature...

    I told her to get out of my fort!
     
    Hinerman, May 31, 2024
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  5. Softwood

    Softwood

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    You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving.
    You need one if you want to go twice..
     
    Softwood, Jun 9, 2024
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  6. brenndatomu

    brenndatomu

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    Bump for fathers day...
    -I've never been much of a fan of facial hair, but it's starting to grow on me.

    -What did the boy say to his fingers?
    I'm counting on you!

    -If your house feels cold, just go stand in the corner...its always 90* there!
     
    brenndatomu, Jun 16, 2024
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  7. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

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    Those are good ones Dave! :salute:
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, Jun 16, 2024
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  8. T.Jeff Veal

    T.Jeff Veal

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    Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because she was stuffed..
     
    T.Jeff Veal, Jun 18, 2024
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  9. T.Jeff Veal

    T.Jeff Veal

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    Why can you not trust a tree?
    Because they are a little shady.
     
    T.Jeff Veal, Jun 18, 2024
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  10. brenndatomu

    brenndatomu

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    [​IMG]
     
    brenndatomu, Jul 13, 2024
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  11. T.Jeff Veal

    T.Jeff Veal

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    FB_IMG_1721235451599.jpg
     
    T.Jeff Veal, Jul 17, 2024
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  12. metalcuttr

    metalcuttr

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    metalcuttr, Jul 18, 2024
    #212 Top
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  13. Sandhillbilly

    Sandhillbilly

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    Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees?


    Because they are really good at it!:D
     
    Sandhillbilly, Jul 19, 2024
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  14. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

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    I found a sprig of parsley with my paycheck so i asked the boss.

    Turns out they're garnishing my wages!
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, Jul 23, 2024
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  15. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

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    buZZsaw BRAD, Jul 23, 2024
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  16. metalcuttr

    metalcuttr

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    Tomato was in a terrible car accident. His friends, Cabbage and Potato rushed him to the hospital emergency room where the doctor worked on him for several hours. The doctor finally came out and said "I have good news and bad news; even though he has lost a lot of juice, he is alive"! "The bad news is that he will be a vegetable the rest of his life!"
     
    metalcuttr, Jul 24, 2024
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  17. metalcuttr

    metalcuttr

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    Tomato was in a terrible car accident. His friends, Cabbage and Potato rushed him to the hospital emergency room where the doctor worked on him for several hours. The doctor finally came out and said "I have good news and bad news; even though he has lost a lot of juice, he is alive"! "The bad news is that he will be a vegetable the rest of his life!"
     
    metalcuttr, Jul 24, 2024
    #217 Top
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  18. brenndatomu

    brenndatomu

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    Ok, Ima like that one once, but not twice :D
     
    brenndatomu, Jul 24, 2024
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  19. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

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    metalcuttr is getting old :BrianK: so he repeats himself!
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, Jul 24, 2024
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  20. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

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    metalcuttr is getting old :BrianK: so he repeats himself!
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, Jul 24, 2024
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