Note: He/Him shall stand-in for He/Him or She/Her: He doesn't have to go old testament on the crotched rounds and other uglies, one sideways glance and the rounds just split themselves out of trembling fear. He has unwittingly bankrupted the local flammable gas suppliers due to his oversupply of cordwood and friendships with, well...everyone. He so much resembles a tree after a throw-down with the wood-pile, RealTree camo offers no advantage. He swings a 10lb splitting maul for as long as needed...with one arm. Wet wood lights up and stays lit in the stove with one match...out of respect. He doesn't check moisture content of splits on the racks, they coordinate and compile a report every morning by 0500...and pass it off to his golden retriever. He doesn't scrounge for wood...it makes it's pilgrimage to his house, and stays there. Burning Man festival, held yearly in Nevada...is a perpetual tribute to him. Stay thirsty my friends.....for humor!
