As some of you that have been following know, my dad has esophageal cancer. He started chemo and radiation treatment the week of Thanksgiving. At 81, we were basically told that the mortality rate for surgery really precluded him from it. Though he could opt for it. By week three of the treatments, you could really see he was getting week. The chemo regiments were rather aggressive. Monday he'd get chemo via IV, and then take a chemo pill everyday. Radiation was 5 days per week which is standard from what I can tell. At the end of three weeks he slowed right down to a turtle pace. Something I didn't expect to see. He'd always been so strong growing up. I just figured he'd slow down so, but not become a shell of a man. My son and I started a walking cane project on the 17th of December. If you recall, my dad's house is literally 15' away from my house. His garage has all of the wood working tools. My son and I were in the garage below him working on the cane. I was at the point of making a jig, and needed his battery powered electric drill. Which he keeps upstairs. My son went up to get it for us. He returned promptly without the drill telling me that something was wrong with grandpa, and that I needed to come upstairs immediately. When this all started, I created a binder for my dad. In the binder, I put information for his meds, his doctor's contact information, his schedule, and any paperwork they provided. One of the pieces of paperwork I put in the front was when to call the on call doctor. This provided a list of conditions for when someone should call. My son had found my dad sitting on the toilet (lid closed), not knowing how long he'd been there, how he got there, or why. (Confusion). I grabbed the binder and went through the list and determined that he met three of the criteria and called the on call. He also was dehydrated and dizzy. They informed me to bring him to the emergency room right away. In the ER, we found out in the preliminary assessment that he met 6 of the criteria. He was severely dehydrated, extremely low white blood cell count and had a fever of 105. After a 6+ hour stay in the ER while he waited for a bed, they finally decided to move him to ICU. He spent 4 days in ICU. During that time, they told me that several different reasons as to his condition. (On an aside working in IT I get that a root cause analysis is not always 100%. In fact sometimes you have to guess. However; you take the information and you make the best educated guess.) The hospital made three so called educated guesses. One was somewhat in the same hemisphere. The other two were on the dark side of the moon. They finally moved him to regular room. Mind you he was still not on a regular diet. Nor had he been out of bed. In fact he did not get out of bed and walk until Saturday on the 6th day. When they talked to me about sending him home, I kept telling them he should go to rehab first to regain his strength. He lives alone in his apartment. The nurses told me not to worry. Well let me tell you, when they tell you not to worry, start worrying. On regular food for two days, barely eating. A physical therapy test that included him walking down the hall with his cane and up three stairs and down three stairs, then back to bed. An hour later do it again. I would like to have taken that PT person by the ear and dragged them to our house to show them the hill that he has to climb to get to his apartment. Let alone to stairs to his deck. Then add the fact that their is no wife to help him 24X7. He called me at 10am on Christmas eve to let me know they were discharging him to come home. No rehab. PT had cleared him to come home. I was floored. Not that I was not happy to have him coming home, but it would not be safe for him to be alone. Off I went to get him. His hands shook bad as he tried to get dressed and I helped him. It was clear to me that he'd not be able to live at his apartment alone. How could they not see this. Anyhow, I loaded him in the car and we headed to the store to get his meds. On the way, I told him that he belonged in rehab. To this I explained that I was happy he was out of the hospital, but I was concerned for his well being at home by himself. He replied that we'd try this, and if it didn't work he'd go to rehab. I explained to him it didn't work that way. Insurance will not pay for rehab once he went home. Honestly in his own stubborn way, he wanted to be home. Which I don't blame him. The meds were not ready so we went home. We needed to leave at 3 to go to my BIL's for my wife's side of the family Xmas dinner. I told me dad to get ready. While he was doing this, I went home to get a much needed shower and get ready myself. Needless to say, I ended up sending the women ahead on their own and my son and I went up after. We ran about and hour behind them. It took my dad 2 and a half hours to get ready. We dropped him off at his girlfriends and got him situated. The plan was for him to stay there while were at my BIL's, and we'd pick him up on our way home. My son drove the hour to my BIL's while I slept. I was just so exhausted from this whole thing. From my BIL's I checked in with his girlfriend to see how he was doing. She told me he was cold and tired, and that he was ready to go whenever I could come pick him up. My son and I said our goodbyes and off we went. I didn't realize until later that we'd only been there just over an hour. On the ride back to her place, I slept again. What I didn't know is that I had a chest cold coming on that would hit me the day after Xmas. Back at his girlfriends house, she asked me who was going to stay with him. To this I had not thought about. This was the 24X7 coverage that rehab would have covered. I told her we'd figure it out. We got him home, and my son slept on the coach that night. Xmas morning my son came over and open presents with us. After presents, I headed over to watch him. Normally I make Xmas breakfast, but under the circumstances my wife made it, and they brought it over to my dad house. We all ate there, and had a good time together. The visiting nurse called while they were there, and informed me she would be there shortly. After talking with her briefly about the situation, she told me to call the hospital about getting him a room in rehab. The women and my son took breakfast back to our house, and I called the hospital. An hour went by and I called the hospital again. They informed me that they would work on getting him a room and that his insurance would cover it. They called back at 1pm to let me know that he would be admitted at 3pm on Xmas day. My oldest daughter and I took him to rehab while my son took my wife and other daughter to my side of the family for Xmas dinner. After 5 days in rehab, his strength has returned, and he's able to live in his apartment alone. Though someone goes over there everyday to check on him, and I talk to him on the phone when I am not able to get there myself. He's resumed radiation only. Chemo has been stopped completely. Keeping our fingers crossed that radiation will be enough. 7 more treatments to go. Sorry for the longwinded dump. Hopefully it's readable. I'll go back and edit later if needed. Jason from RI.
Jason, Glad you’re able to share this with us, even as difficult as it is. It’s hard, but you’re doing right by being there dad. I’ll keep praying for his healing and peace in the mean time. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Stay strong Jason, God has a plan. The medical system looks at all of us as numbers & $$$$$$. Thankfully your dad has a strong advocate in you. A lot of seniors in his position do not. When dealing with the "medical community" in these cases remember, "the squeaky wheel gets the most grease". I know how you feel, been there done that. Best of luck to you and your dad.
Courage my friend. I lost my Dad on Thanksgiving day, and I miss him. Take advantage of this window of opportunity with him, I wish I had a little longer.
Thank you, I definitely want more time. I just want him to be safe, and will do what I can. The problem I have is that I've exhausted all of my PTO at work, and it does not reset until 1Jul. Which puts me in a tough position with work.
I've definitely learned that the you only get what you push for. If you are mousey, they will roll right over you without blinking.
I hope your dad can continue on in his own place for as long as possible. Maybe a community agency for elders aging in place can provide you with some resources. If you need coverage, can you hire a part time caretaker? Or pay a family member to act in that role?
He has services coming in now two to three times per week. He wants nothing to do with a nursing home. There is no money for assisted living or a part time caretaker. That is why we did the arrangement we did. Right now, I'm scrambling to get my finances in order. If I had to, I could cash out a 401K and make something work. All depends on how bad things get. He has 7 more treatments to go. Then we wait a month, and then go in and do a biopsy. That will tell us how the chemo and radiation did. Hopefully those two alone will be enough to have knocked the cancer out. If not, then I don't know what the next steps are nor whether my dad will want to go through anymore treatments. Only time will tell. We have a great deal to discuss once we have a better idea where we stand.
Your in thoughts and prayers, keep us updated please, this isn't easy, been there and done it with my mom. Try to get enough rest because it really is a job in itself.
I will keep your father in my prayers. I hope everything works out for the best and stay strong for your father in his time of need. And above all keep faith in God!
Jason, thank you for the update, even if it is sort of a nightmare. One thing that really caught my eye was the 105 temperature. I struggled with that recently and was told most adults can not live through that high of a temperature. I had not realized it was that serious, even though I passed out and was shaking so bad (I was cold) my wife said the bed was actually jumping. Fortunately, your father and I both lived through it so perhaps we have some kid left in us yet! We'll keep you and your father on the prayer list.
Glad to read of your dad’s improvement....these are tough times, the enemy is trying to destroy so many... he is already overcome, but still persistent. It’s a wonderful thing that your FHC family has a strong and powerful prayer presence!
The ER was so cold. I was dressed warm and was cold. They kept adding warm blankets to him. Until one doctor said no more because that could be impacting his fever. The guy is violently shaking and can't get warm, yet you don't want him to get warm? There seems to be a breakdown in logic there. After about the third or fourth bag of IV his fever did start to come down. Thankfully when they finally moved him at 11:30pm that night the ICU room was much warmer. In the ER, I felt like I needed to rally the FHC Brotherhood to bring in some wood stoves and dry firewood to heat the bloody place. All jokes aside, the ER staff did a great job. I don't always know why they do what they do, but they have good intentions. They work long hours and see all kinds of crap. Their demeanor with my dad was wonderful, and I am very grateful to them for it. Had my son not gone up when he did, I don't know how much longer he would have lasted. I had not planned to see him until around 5 or 6 that day. I shudder to think what could have happened. Though I am a firm believer in things happen for a reason. My son going up to borrow his drill happened for a reason. His drill could have been in the garage, or I could have simply used his old drill or one of the plug ins he has. We all appreciate the outpouring of support. The stress has really hit me hard. I've had the head/chest cold and this past weekend the bug. This is a very unusual year for me. Aside from migraines, I don't get sick. On the migraine front, those have really gotten better with the med Topomax. My number of migraine days has dropped significantly. I am back in the gym, and I am going to try another plan I came across to live a long life. It includes walking 30 minutes a day, meditating for 10minutes a day and several other components. All pieces that are well worth investing in myself to keep myself healthy.
ER room was also very cold when I went in. Actually the whole hospital was cold for me except for the very short time I was in a regular room because that had its own heater.
What I have been told is that the colder temps in the hospital help keep the germ spread down especially in ER or surgical rooms. Doesn't help when you are stuck in there for hours in a nightgown.
Glad your dad has started to improve and is doing well enough to stay in his own place. Sorry to hear y'all are going through all this. Hope your dad keeps improving and hope you feel better with that chest cold. Just know you, your dad, and your family will be in the prayers Sent from my Pixel 2 XL using Tapatalk
