An old boy I know passed the other day. We were not really that great of friends but I know all 6 of his kids and am good friends with one or two of them. I guess we will at least come home tomorrow and get cleaned up and go to the visitation to pay our respects to those who are in mourning over his death. My question is this, when does a fella draw the line on going to these things? I mean, if I was to go to every funeral or visitation for every retaliative of friends of mine I wouldnt have time to plan my own demise. Where do a guy draw the line on such things? I know this might sound cold but sheesh, most of these friends aint never been to a hole diggin for any of my family but they look at me sideways when I dont attend their affair and treat a guy like a leper until they forget about it. Which usually takes the time to read the dead guys will. Then all is or is not forgotten.
Sorry for your loss. I have attended viewings/ funerals, and i have not. Some i wish i went to, and didn't due to my way of coping, and regret it at times. I feel it means alot to family seeing others there, to share the pain, then celebrate the life.
Well Seasoned and Butcher ...I feel the same way. Sometimes I go and wonder why and other times I talk myself out of attending and regret my decision!
My wife probably see it as at least a reason to corner me into tidying myself up. But the truth is that the "time wasted" with going will soon be forgotten but the regret of not going can march on. Almost sounds profound..... Like it came from a fortune cookie or sumptin.
My wife and I aren't having funerals when we die, just a graveside service for family. I feel no obligation to go to anyone else's funeral.
Good question, did you have a bowl of extra good question cereal this morning??? With that being said, besides family I am not a going to funeral person. I rather not "ruin" my memories of them by seeing them lying in a casket. Same with hospitals, do not do well.
I find visitations/wakes a rather strange thing. Everyone standing around talking and laughing as it was more of a party than paying last respects for the deceased. These things are probably rooted in lore more than anything. In some families funerals tend to be the only time family members gather. I never forget going to the visitation of a dear friend and seeing his wife standing and laughing, I was upset and crying. Of course I learned later that she was having an affair with the guy next door so she probably wasn't sad to see her husband gone.
I hope people have a good time at my wake and funeral. My family knows...jeans and t shirts whatever....booze, well...I ain't paying. Order flippin pizzas, hot dog dude maybe a DJ.....Ok maybe not that. I want to bring back happy memories ....The remember when he.....hahaha type of stuff. Maybe put a fire extinguisher in the casket with me....
I agree. There won't be a wake or traditional funeral for me either. I told my family to get together and have a party.
I am not big on the funeral ceremony organized huplah. I much would rather go to the prayer service the night before or a graveside service. Only you or your spouse can determine if you should or will go. The one thing that I try to do is if there is a time to share memories and there is the uncomfortable pause as people are scared to publicly speak I will break the ice. I don't mind speaking to a crowd which is strange as normally I avoid crowds if at all possible. So many times a family member will come up to me later and thank me for getting the stories rolling.
