what kind of kids are we bringing up?

So today was my 5 year olds preschool family picnic. A good time was had. But apparently my 3 year old punched another little bit older boy. Neither my wife or I saw this. Apparently neither did the other kids grandmom. It went from her asking him if he bumped heads with someone to her saying oh that little boy punched you. She then proceeded to make an issue about it and tell her grandson we don't hit (which I agree) and we will go somewhere else and play. Now yes my son is a pistol but I did not make him apologize nor did I reprimand him. I did not see it and when I asked him later he said the boy hit him first. She also proceeded to tell her husband in a manner like my son was a bully and give us dirty looks. I don't condone fighting and two wrongs don't make a right but I teach my kids if someone hits you hit them back hard enough they don't want to hit you again. I guess my point is are people raising boys to be sissys. Sorry if I offended anyone and if anyone wants this removed I understand. Sorry for the rant.

 

I noticed the wussification started about 15 yrs. when my son was playing sports and getting participation awards for losing. How is that teaching kids?

 

When our son was 6 he had this lil bazturd who'd try to trip him, push him, hit him, etc... Our son finally told Mom about it and she told him, hey, if he hits you and won't stop... belt him! She also told him to expect to be punished for it by the teacher, but that it was the only way to get a bully to back off sometimes. The kid hit him again the next day, and our lil guy drew off and nailed him... That was the end of the problem and, thankfully, the teacher didn't see it happen. The other kid was so embarrassed too, he didn't go tell the teacher either... Funny, when our son was a junior/senior on the different sports teams, I remember he'd kinda look out for some of the kids who were getting pushed around and he'd always make it known that was gonna stop. His Dad thought that was pretty cool...

 

My son receives boxing lessons every summer from yours truly, and has been taught to intervene when bullies are troubling other kids. And he has. I remember being suspended for intervening when I was in school, and my parents knowing full well what happened let me enjoy my little vacation. Us big guys needs to stick up for the little ones.

 

Good for the little guy jet The other kid hit first and it was payback time

 

Cool glad I'm not the only one. Like I said not 100% that the other boy hit him first because I did not see it but I have no reason to doubt him. But if he hit the boy I would not have made an issue if the boy hit him back like the grandmom made. Guess some peoples chit doesn't stink. I would have reprimanded my boy too if he started it. When my oldest boy started morning class this year a boy hit him. My reply was what did you do. He said I hit him back. I said ok and asked if he got in trouble he said no. The teacher told my wife about it and confirmed my boy did not get in trouble.

 

I was told when young to never start a fight.
However, if I had no choice, to make sure I finished it.

 

I was taught to run if that was an option. If cornered, then do everything you can to put em on the ground and make sure they stay there. I am scared for my kids to grow up in this world.
Enter kenny rogers:

 

I realize schools have policies against taking certain items to school, hitting, cursing, etc. Stuff happens, especially on the playground. Kids are learning how to behave, and they need good guidance by their parents and teachers. You know your kid better than anyone else. If an incident happens and you know you have a good kid that shows respect, than most likely the other one may have incited it. I would expect the child to try to restrain their aggressions, but they may feel the need to react accordingly. Lesson learned, discuss, move on. I can't always be Kumbaya. Kids need to learn to stand up for themselves, and more importantly stand up for others when needed. I teach my kids to respect others, but a time may come when they need to react equally to end a bad situation. We will cross that bridge when we get there. I think that I would rather have my kids have confidence to deal with bullies than to sit back and get verbally/physically intimidated.

 

I think want peeved me more was the way the grandmom acted. She did not see it either but of course it wasn't her grandchild in the wrong I'm am sure by the way she acted it couldn't have been. I know my kids do wrong at times and I am big enough to admit it. Wish I would have seen it I was only about ten feet away but talking to my wife. At least than I would know if my boy was in the wrong.

 

I was brought up to never back down but not to start a fight but you better finish it. I try to teach my boys to be kind, polite and respectful. I lnow when I was younger me and my friends would fight/wrestle each other for something to do. Sometimes the saying boys will be boys is true.

 

Almost 40 years ago, I drove school buses. It was well known by all of the drivers that "my little Johnny can do no wrong" was the norm when it came to talking to the parents of a "problem child"... Only difference today is, that problem child prolly has his lawyer on speed dial...

 

I took my 3 yo to an indoor play area today... Basically a diy daycare. One kid kept grabbing toys from my son every time he picked something up. I did the lets share thing a couple times. The other parent was oblivious. Third or fourth time it happened my son looked at me, I nodded ok. He smiled and took the toy back rather forcibly. The mom finally looked up and told my kid to 'be easy'... I told him he did a good job.

She left in a huff.

 

I just saw this article Jet and thought of you... it's a brave new world... (Joe Kosloski hits it on the head at the end)

Cole Middle School Cancels Honors Night
The notice was sent to parents over the weekend in an e-mail signed by School Principal Alexis Meyer and Assistant Principal Dan Seger.

Posted by Mark Schieldrop (Editor) , May 21, 2014 at 10:31 AM

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EAST GREENWICH, R.I. —Citing concerns about the "exclusive nature" of the annual honors night at Archie R. Cole Middle School, school officials have decided to scrap the tradition.

Instead, students who would normally be recognized at the annual spring tradition will be honored during team-based recognition ceremonies and graduation.

Update: School Officials Respond to Public Outcry over Cancellation of Honors Night
The notice was sent to parents over the weekend in an e-mail signed by School Principal Alexis Meyer and Assistant Principal Dan Seger.

"Members of the school community have long expressed concerns related to the exclusive nature of Honors Night," the email stated.

By having the recognition ceremonies during team-based ceremonies, it will "afford us the opportunity to celebrate the individual and collective success of all students and their effort, progress and excellence."

At the same time, Cole varsity athletes will get medals and trophies at an after school ceremony.

One parent told ABC6 that he's not happy with the change.

“How else are they suppose to learn coping skills, not just based on success, but relative failure, it might not be failure, but understand what it takes to achieve high levels,” said parent Joe Kosloski.

What do you think?

 

I did not think I would add anything else to this thread, but today, my son changed that. He was playing around with his friends after school when it got out of hand and another boy started to kick him in the stomach a few times. Just boys roughhousing. Long story short, my son lost a tooth in the short scrum. (It was a baby tooth anyways that has been loose for months. I should give the other kid a buck for knocking it out.) He had blood all over his hands and mouth which ended it. In the end, the parents were not too upset as it was rough play that just got out of hand.

I asked my son why he head-locked the other boy and it was a simple explanation that the boy would not stop kicking him. My son did just what he had to do to make it stop. There was a lesson learned today, and my son stands a little prouder... and so do I.

 

Kids should be rewarded for hard work and the like. I was not a good student but appreciated the hard work that honor roll students put into it. School just wasn't my thing. I don't understand why its so bad for kids to lose. I'm not that old (32) and I remember shirts that said second place is the first loser and stuff like that. What are we preparing kids for? What next aults not getting promoted but consultation prizes or no retirement parties because the younger workers might be offended.

 

As he should.

 

I have no doubt... we're already there Jet. I hope reality speeds up the real social life lessons, and more parents finally "get it" before multiple generations are lost. I tell my son all the time... you can't let the BS of the world that you can't control (which has always been there), effect your own small world that you can control. Sometimes, easier said than done... I know.