· My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. · CEO’s are now playing miniature golf. · Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. · A stripper was injured when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced. · If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or the bank. · McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer. · Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America. · Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names. · A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico. · A picture is now only worth 200 words. · When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room. · The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates. And, finally…. I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call centre in Pakistan, when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
