Crayola pellets

these are them damm Ironstone Mills pellets, got a ton of them to burn up

 

drop each bag on the floor a couple of times before dumping them in the stove,

 

and then walk on them for a couple of minutes.

 

think the wife would mind me running them through her blender

 

There are some chainsaws available in the classifieds if you need to cut those to length....

 

Snap each one individually. Drink beer while doing it. It's a relaxing activity, good for stress relief.

 

Have the mis-behaving kids break them down to 1/4 inches (exactly). And gave a penalty if 5 bags for every one that is not "to spec".