Interesting road ahead....

Ive been offline for quite awhile, maybe a month or so. I miss it here. Life has thrown me a curveball and I'm dealing with it. My dad has been forced out of his home of the last 25 years. He has been with a female companion for all of those years and she decided to move on about 6 weeks ago. She owned the home they both shared so she put it up for sale and this left my dad in the cold so to speak. That said, and this being a sort of an emergency, my wife and I decided to take him in until other arrangements could be made.

I've been getting a room we used as an office ready for him as a bedroom, in order to keep him on the first floor. I'm about to renovate the first floor bath in order to give him a place to shower and do his business, the stairs are a challenge and I don't want him on them unless I'm around.

We have his name in for senior housing and it looks promising in about 5-7 mos time. The senior living is a short ride down the road from us and this would be good so he could get some of his independence back.

So all of my time has been spent getting things in the house ready, making phone calls, collecting documents, visiting veterans agents etc... Hopefully things will come together smoothly.

 

Been through all that too MyIS. It's time consuming as all get out.
Take care of business.....we'll wait for ya'.

 

You are a good man My IS heats my home ! Take your time and enjoy the time you have with him while he is there.

 

My Dad at 78 years old, decided he needed to move in with someone to help him. He chose me, so i built a second small house on the property. I also used this as an opportunity to build my shop on the end of his house. That was 10 years ago, all is well. It is a lot of work having him around all the time and keeping track of his needs. But hey he watched over me for 20 years or so. He does all his own cooking and cleaning still so we just need to get him to his errands. I guess what i am saying is it will all work out for you, patience, patience and a little more.

 

I hear ya on the patience part. We had him over for dinner last night and I could see the reservations written all over the wall. I think he's happy overall that he has a roof over his head and he's with a family member and not in some strange place. The errands we do now is nothing new, the living under the same roof and making it all work out will be the test. I appreciate your experience on this. TY

 

Time consuming is an understatement. He doesn't even live here yet and I feel exhausted already.

 

Thanks BS...need to find some time to be here again. Soon enough the IS will be firing again.

 

Wow! That is a lifestyle change for you both, but don't forget that also your dad is probably heart broken on top of everything else....

 

I agree with you there, I have sat through a few crying sessions already. I can imagine it's tough for him after all those years in the same place and the same woman. He told me yesterday that he thought he would live his remaining years in that house. Tough times for eveyone...we'll get through it. Thanks for your thoughts

 

What are the laws in your area re: common law living? Up here, for example, he would be entitled to some financial compensation in that situation.

 

My parents lived with my brother in an apartment in his house. That worked out well until Dad passed and Mom was failing at 85, so she moved in with my brother and passed within a few months. I have been proactive and have my son and his family now living in my house. The payoff is the grandchildren. I've been depressed for a long time, however, these little ones have a way of making me smile. Splitting the house into two separate living areas was the way to go for us. We are close, but no one is underfoot. I am glad you are there for your dad. With time, you will gain a lot of peace knowing you did the right thing.

 

I agree with rottiman. Check out the common-in-law rules. They might help him out financially.

 

Sounds like a tough situation for him (and you). We'll be praying for you and your dad

 

welcome back, wishing you the best with your dad.

 

Hang in there! You're a great son...

 

Welcome back IS. I'm sure it is a difficult time to work through. In time the dust will settle. Good for you for being there for him.

 

Your situation hits home here too My IS heats my home ... my wife and I took care of my folks too. While it can be overwhelming... in the years ahead, you'll see it was one of the best things you ever did. Good luck... hang in there.