The Adventures of Kevin the Kindling Stick

Kevin Goes on a Cruise (Part 1)

Because Kevin has no hands, let alone fingers to type with, I am writing down his adventures on his cruise through the western Caribbean for you to enjoy.

Schlot.





Dear forum members,

Let me introduce myself to you. As Schlot has said my name is Kevin and yes I am a kindling stick. Spared from the fiery depths of the stove I was able to tag along with Schlot and Mrs. Schlot on their most recent honeymoon cruise. Here lies my story for you to enjoy.



We left Northwest Iowa at the awful morning hour of 2am, in a light snow. Getting to the Omaha airport we made it through TSA (Really? I had to go through a metal detector...really!?) and hopped on the plane headed for the sunny weather of Florida.





Once there I was too anxious to stand still so we headed out of motel to the bridge overlooking the Port of Everglades. We witnessed a busy day as 8 ships headed out to sea, making room for our ship that would come in early the next day.







On our walk back to the motel I was able to chat with a few of local palm trees. After a good long talk, we decided that we were related, but only very distantly. We called it a day, made it back to the motel and hit the bed early.

After a long day of traveling I slept like a log that first night.







Waking up around 4am Schlot and I walked about 4.5 miles to the breakwater along the Atlantic Ocean to watch our ship (the Caribbean Princess) and three other ships enter port. Under a dark sky we waited on the rock breakwater as the ships almost silently slid past us.






On a dare I went skinny dipping in the predawn waves of the Atlantic. That water is mighty cool on an early breezy morning. If I had anything to shrink…it would have shrunk!



After an quick breakfast we headed to the pier to embark on the ship. Luckily Schlot was able to hide me in his pants pocket as I had forgotten my passport in the early morning rush of leaving home. Note to self, bring all required documentation or at least Febreeze Schlot’s pants pocket first!







Once on board I quickly made myself at home and lounged on the deck chair on our balcony. Even though I’m not a drinking man, it was tempting to order some champagne from room service to celebrate our departure. However, since I’m only a split, it’s impossible to show all my growth rings to prove I’m over 21.



Around 4pm we left port and made our way south through the Florida Straights, past Miami and around the Florida Keys. Funny thing that I learned about myself. Even though I failed my swimming lessons as a twig, I had no fear of drowning.







Waking up to a breezy day of open water sailing we sailed past the north and west coasts of Cuba. We may have opened up relations with the communists there but I still gave them my “one stick” salute.







That day and every day of the cruise we literally had a feast served to us. We had a selection of two casual buffet and six more formal restaurants to choose from. Whichever we chose, the food was great and plentiful.

According to ship information the 3500 odd passengers and 1100 crew consumes approximately 18 tons of food each day! I did my share to help us reach that level but truthfully I was worried. Worried about eating so much. Fortunately, even after all that food, I still kept my stick figure.


Well I will call it a day for now, and work on another installment for you to read later!

 

Can wait to read more of your travels!

 

schlot, you should keep Kevin, the Kindling Stick around.
He's a much gooder story teller than you.

 

I like this Kevin guy!

 

I recognize Kevin, but who is this schlot guy he's going on about?

 

Awesome story, Kevin. Thanks for taking time out of your busy day to share your adventures with us. Can't wait to see more.

 

Good stuff man. Sounds like you really enjoyed your trip. Glad no pics of Kevin daring you to skinny dip.

 

That's why I kept the control of the camera....no evidence.

 

I just shared this onto the facebook page

 

someone's been busy.

 

I don't want to hijack Kevin's thread, but yes I have been on a feature binge again.

 

Kevin rocks!

 

Shoulda carried him in your shirt pocket so he could see better. Jeesh I mean the 2 closest guys next to him where, and the other ones..... I'll stop.

 

And anything you share on here can be linked to anywhere at any time, the facebook button didn't make that possible it just makes it clickable. Remember, everything you post in the open forum is public.

 

I can just here some of the people on the cruise, "did you see that guy taking pictures of that stick?"

 

Sure he probably wasn't the oddest cat on the boat.

 

schlot, I can predict a similar adventure series coming up this summer. Kevins kousin goes west! (I plan on hitting the western slope of the Rockies in June)

 

Kevin for President!

(Oops, no politics. Sorry.)