In loving memory of Kenis D. Keathley 6/4/81 - 3/27/22 Loving father, husband, brother, friend and firewood hoarder Rest in peace, Dexterday

Your best dad jokes...

Discussion in 'Everything Else (off topic)' started by brenndatomu, Nov 18, 2023.

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  1. MikeInMa

    MikeInMa

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    IMG_20260514_055106.png
     
    MikeInMa, May 14, 2026
    #401 Top
    wildwest, FTG-05, metalcuttr and 6 others like this.
  2. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

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    buZZsaw BRAD, May 14, 2026
    #402 Top
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  3. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

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    I just found out the best time to heat fish in the microwave...

    ...tuna half minutes!
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, May 14, 2026
    #403 Top
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  4. brenndatomu

    brenndatomu

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    Nope...the best time to heat fish in the microwave is right after you quit your job, and right before you walk out of the break room for the last time...and I'd leave it in there for a lot longer than tuna half minutes...make sure that smell gets baked in there good! :whistle: ;) :rofl: :lol:
     
    brenndatomu, May 15, 2026
    #404 Top
    wildwest, sms4life, metalcuttr and 3 others like this.
  5. stoveliker

    stoveliker

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    I thought that was what shrimp was for...
     
    stoveliker, May 16, 2026
    #405 Top
    wildwest, metalcuttr, Backwoods Savage and 4 others like this.
  6. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

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    Where does an SUV go on a hot Summer day?

    in the car pool!

    BO
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, May 18, 2026
    #406 Top
    wildwest, Backwoods Savage, metalcuttr and 3 others like this.
  7. RCBS

    RCBS

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    Feel someone's shirt sleeve.
    Ask if felt.
    'no.'
    It is now.
     
    RCBS, May 19, 2026
    #407 Top
    wildwest, Backwoods Savage, metalcuttr and 2 others like this.
  8. stoveliker

    stoveliker

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    I was asked to join a secret society.


    I can't tell you how excited I am.

    *****
    My wife told me I am of average intelligence.


    That's just mean.
     
    stoveliker, May 19, 2026
    #408 Top
    wildwest, Backwoods Savage, RCBS and 4 others like this.
  9. MikeInMa

    MikeInMa

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    MikeInMa, May 22, 2026
    #409 Top
    wildwest, billb3, Backwoods Savage and 2 others like this.
  10. stoveliker

    stoveliker

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    Lance is an uncommon name nowadays.


    But in medieval times, people were called Lance a lot.
     
    stoveliker, May 22, 2026
    #410 Top
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  11. brenndatomu

    brenndatomu

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    Why did the polar bear call tech support?




    His screen was frozen
     
    brenndatomu, May 22, 2026
    #411 Top
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  12. Backwoods Savage

    Backwoods Savage Moderator

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    Backwoods Savage, May 23, 2026
    #412 Top
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  13. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

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    Can you give a deaf person sound advice?

    BO
     
    Last edited: May 25, 2026
    buZZsaw BRAD, May 25, 2026
    #413 Top
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  14. stoveliker

    stoveliker

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    What do you call a group of anxious dinosaurs?


    Nervous wrecks.






    What is the worst insult you can give a ghost?



    Get a life
     
    stoveliker, May 27, 2026
    #414 Top
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  15. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

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    What does a wood stove take to reduce swelling?

    anti-inFLAMEatory drugs. :doh:

    BO
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, May 27, 2026
    #415 Top
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  16. stoveliker

    stoveliker

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    Do trees poop?



    Where do you think number two pencils come from...
     
    stoveliker, May 27, 2026
    #416 Top
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  17. metalcuttr

    metalcuttr

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    Booo! Now where did I put that "Bad Dad Jokes file"?
     
    metalcuttr, May 27, 2026
    #417 Top
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  18. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

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    It was a groaner and an eye roller :rolleyes: Ill admit it.
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, May 27, 2026
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  19. stoveliker

    stoveliker

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    Toasters.
    Featuring the first pop up notifications.
     
    stoveliker, Jun 1, 2026
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  20. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

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    Did you hear about the sprinter who was a good con man?

    he was always trying to pull a fast one.

    BO
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, Jun 3, 2026
    #420 Top
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