In loving memory of Kenis D. Keathley 6/4/81 - 3/27/22 Loving father, husband, brother, friend and firewood hoarder Rest in peace, Dexterday

Your best dad jokes...

Discussion in 'Everything Else (off topic)' started by brenndatomu, Nov 18, 2023.

Page 19 of 20
  1. billb3

    billb3

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2013
    Messages:
    10,424
    Likes Received:
    54,036
    Location:
    SE Mass
    Time flies like an arrow
    Fruit flies like a banana
     
    billb3, Mar 30, 2026
    #361 Top
    T.Jeff Veal, Backwoods Savage, theburtman and 4 others like this.
  2. stoveliker

    stoveliker

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2021
    Messages:
    221
    Likes Received:
    1,248
    Location:
    Eastern Long Island
    Not really a dad joke, but in honor of ... (I just learned he passed recently)


    Chuck Norris actually died 20 years ago.
    Death just finally got the courage to tell him.
     
    stoveliker, Apr 1, 2026
    #362 Top
    T.Jeff Veal, metalcuttr, buZZsaw BRAD and 5 others like this.
  3. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2019
    Messages:
    33,652
    Likes Received:
    207,463
    Location:
    North Haven, Connecticut
    I watched the Artemis rocket launch...it was a very uplifting experience!

    BO
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, Apr 2, 2026
    #363 Top
    T.Jeff Veal, Backwoods Savage, stoveliker and 4 others like this.
  4. stoveliker

    stoveliker

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2021
    Messages:
    221
    Likes Received:
    1,248
    Location:
    Eastern Long Island
    How does NASA organize a party?



    They planet.
     
    stoveliker, Apr 3, 2026
    #364 Top
    metalcuttr, sms4life, yooperdave and 6 others like this.
  5. T.Jeff Veal

    T.Jeff Veal

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2015
    Messages:
    28,390
    Likes Received:
    180,869
    Location:
    Country life, Ga
    Why does the Easter bunny had his eggs????



    Doesn't want anyone to find out about his affairs with a chicken...
     
    T.Jeff Veal, Apr 4, 2026
    #365 Top
    metalcuttr, stoveliker, brenndatomu and 3 others like this.
  6. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2019
    Messages:
    33,652
    Likes Received:
    207,463
    Location:
    North Haven, Connecticut
    :picard:
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, Apr 4, 2026
    #366 Top
    T.Jeff Veal, metalcuttr, brenndatomu and 2 others like this.
  7. billb3

    billb3

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2013
    Messages:
    10,424
    Likes Received:
    54,036
    Location:
    SE Mass
    Why can't the astronauts book a room on the moon ?


    Because it is full.
     
    billb3, Apr 5, 2026
    #367 Top
    Backwoods Savage, T.Jeff Veal, brenndatomu and 1 other person like this.
  8. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2019
    Messages:
    33,652
    Likes Received:
    207,463
    Location:
    North Haven, Connecticut
    What do astronauts eat out of?

    A satellite dish!
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, Apr 5, 2026
    #368 Top
    metalcuttr, MikeInMa, Backwoods Savage and 3 others like this.
  9. Canadian border VT

    Canadian border VT

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2015
    Messages:
    19,002
    Likes Received:
    125,777
    Location:
    Vermont
    The Watts children were named 567 and 8
    None of them were that bright
     
    Canadian border VT, Apr 5, 2026
    #369 Top
    metalcuttr, MikeInMa, Backwoods Savage and 3 others like this.
  10. stoveliker

    stoveliker

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2021
    Messages:
    221
    Likes Received:
    1,248
    Location:
    Eastern Long Island
    Screenshot_20260405-175053.png
     

    Attached Files:

    stoveliker, Apr 5, 2026
    #370 Top
    JD Guy, billb3, metalcuttr and 8 others like this.
  11. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2019
    Messages:
    33,652
    Likes Received:
    207,463
    Location:
    North Haven, Connecticut
    For a meal that's out of this world.:rofl: :lol: :drool:
     
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2026
    buZZsaw BRAD, Apr 5, 2026
    #371 Top
    billb3, metalcuttr, MikeInMa and 5 others like this.
  12. MikeInMa

    MikeInMa

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2016
    Messages:
    15,110
    Likes Received:
    108,955
    Location:
    Southern Worcester county
    If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?


    Missile toe.
     
    MikeInMa, Apr 6, 2026
    #372 Top
    wildwest, Backwoods Savage, yooperdave and 5 others like this.
  13. billb3

    billb3

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2013
    Messages:
    10,424
    Likes Received:
    54,036
    Location:
    SE Mass
    and they really don't like to eat there

    because there is no atmosphere
     
    billb3, Apr 6, 2026
    #373 Top
    wildwest, metalcuttr, Backwoods Savage and 5 others like this.
  14. stoveliker

    stoveliker

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2021
    Messages:
    221
    Likes Received:
    1,248
    Location:
    Eastern Long Island
    What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?



    The space bar!
     
    stoveliker, Apr 6, 2026
    #374 Top
    wildwest, metalcuttr, Backwoods Savage and 5 others like this.
  15. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2019
    Messages:
    33,652
    Likes Received:
    207,463
    Location:
    North Haven, Connecticut
    I thought that was where they got a good drink? :drunk:
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, Apr 6, 2026
    #375 Top
    wildwest, metalcuttr, Backwoods Savage and 5 others like this.
  16. brenndatomu

    brenndatomu

    Joined:
    May 29, 2015
    Messages:
    24,357
    Likes Received:
    157,630
    Location:
    NE Ohio
    How do you identify a dogwood tree?




    By it's bark.
     
    brenndatomu, Apr 6, 2026
    #376 Top
    wildwest, metalcuttr, Backwoods Savage and 5 others like this.
  17. stoveliker

    stoveliker

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2021
    Messages:
    221
    Likes Received:
    1,248
    Location:
    Eastern Long Island

    Combining work and pleasure, I guess
     
    stoveliker, Apr 6, 2026
    #377 Top
    wildwest, metalcuttr, Backwoods Savage and 4 others like this.
  18. MikeInMa

    MikeInMa

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2016
    Messages:
    15,110
    Likes Received:
    108,955
    Location:
    Southern Worcester county
    IMG_20260407_051141(1).jpg
     
    MikeInMa, Apr 7, 2026
    #378 Top
    wildwest, sms4life, metalcuttr and 7 others like this.
  19. billb3

    billb3

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2013
    Messages:
    10,424
    Likes Received:
    54,036
    Location:
    SE Mass
    A bartender tells a time traveller we don't serve your kind here.

    A time traveller walks into a bar ...
     
    billb3, Apr 7, 2026
    #379 Top
    wildwest, T.Jeff Veal, metalcuttr and 5 others like this.
  20. stoveliker

    stoveliker

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2021
    Messages:
    221
    Likes Received:
    1,248
    Location:
    Eastern Long Island
    I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, “You’re an 8 on a scale of 10.”

    I still don’t get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...
     
    stoveliker, Apr 8, 2026
    #380 Top
    wildwest, yooperdave, Backwoods Savage and 8 others like this.
Page 19 of 20