Your best dad jokes...

Albert Einstein was a genius.

But his brother Frank was a monster.

 

Oh come on...you know you raffed a little...

 

What do you call a cow with a twitch?





Beef jerky

 

My boss asked me why I only get sick on workdays.


I don't know. Must be my weekend immune system.

 

What do you call an alligator in a vest?




An investigator...

 

My buddy took his family to the zoo, all they had was a dog. It was a chitzu (that's not how I spelled it...the forum changed it!)

 

What concert can you go to for .45¢?



A Fifty Cent concert featuring Nickelback

 

There was a butcher at the Academy awards. Turns out he won an Oscar...an Oscar Mayer!!!

 

That dude is such a weiny

 

Sunday was a sad day, but the day before that was a sadder day!

 

I've been collecting magazines for years.

I have issues.

 

I was traveling for work last week.


If you tell knock knock jokes,
you should get the no-bell prize.

 

What is a vegetable you might find in your basement ?


A celery.

 

I started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes.



It's all about raisin' awareness.

 

I have a step ladder




My real ladder left when I was a kid.

 

Insurance companies warn campers.

If your tent is stolen at night, you won’t be covered.