Do you have any Taters around here? Some people never seem motivated to participate, but are just content to watch while others do the work. They are called "Speck Taters". Some people never do anything to help, but are gifted at finding fault with the way others do the work. They are called "Comment Taters". Some people are very bossy and like to tell others what to do, but don't want to soil their own hands. They are called "duck Taters". Some people are always looking to cause problems by asking others to agree with them. It is too hot or too cold, too sour or too sweet. They are called "Agie Taters". There are those who say they will help, but somehow just never get around to actually doing the promised help. They are called "Hezzie Taters". Some people can put up a front and pretend to be someone they are not. They are called "Imma Taters". Then there are those who love others and do what they say they will. They are always prepared to stop whatever they are doing and lend a helping hand. They bring real sunshine into the lives of others. They are called "Sweet Taters". Your presence is a gift to the world, You're unique and one of a kind. Your life can be what you want it to be take it one day at a time. Count your blessings, not your troubles, and you'll make it through what comes along. Within you are so many answers, understand, have courage, be strong. Don't put limits on yourself, your dreams are waiting to be realized. Don't leave your important decisions to chance; reach for your peak, your goal, and your prize. Nothing wastes more energy than worrying the longer a problem is carried, the heavier it gets. Don't take things too seriously live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets. Remember that a little love goes a long way remember that a lot goes forever. Remember that friendship is a wise investment, life's treasures are people... together. Have health and hope and happiness, take the time to wish on a star. And don't ever forget for even a day, how very special you are!
I wake up to the morning light, and a new day has begun. Always a smile upon my face, knowing I love someone. Her laying there so peaceful, with a smile upon her face. No other woman on this Earth, could ever take her place. Soon will have another Birthday, eyes still have that certain glow. To me, beautiful she'll always be, my love for her forever grows. When true love you have found, life still not all laughter and fun. But it's so much easier to cope with knowing that you love someone. As we know, love can be beautiful, so get busy now and do your part. Nothing better than being in love, if it's coming from your Heart. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both eaten by a killer whale. This is a quiz for people who know everything! I found out in a hurry that I didn't. These are not trick questions. They are straight questions with straight answers: 1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends. 2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward? 3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables? 4. Name the only sport in which the ball is always in possession of the team on defense, and the offensive team can score without touching the ball? 5. What fruit has its seeds on the outside? 6. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle? 7. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters "dw" and they are all common words. Name two of them. 8. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them? 9. Where are the lakes that are referred to in the Los Angeles Lakers? 10. There are 7 ways a baseball player can legally reach first base without getting a hit. Taking a base on balls (a walk) is one way. Name the other 6. 11. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh. 12. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter "S." Answers To Quiz: 1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends . . . boxing 2. North American landmark constantly moving backward . . Niagara Falls (The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.) 3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons . . asparagus and rhubarb . 4. The only sport in which the ball is always in possession of the team on defense, and the offensive team can score without touching the ball . Baseball 5. The fruit with its seeds on the outside . strawberry. 6. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle (The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.) Well, Golly! 7. Three English words beginning with dw . dwarf, dwell and dwindle. 8. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar . . period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation marks, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses. 9. The original lakes referred to in Lakers . . in Minnesota. (The team was originally known as the Minneapolis Lakers, and kept the name when they moved west.) 10. Seven ways a baseball player can legally reach first base without getting a hit . . . taking a base on balls (a walk) . . . batter hit by a pitch, passed ball, catcher interference, catcher drops third strike, fielder's choice, and being designated as a pinch-runner. 11. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh lettuce . 12. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with "s" . . shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts. I hope you enjoyed this.
More whacky definitions: Khakis: What you need to start the car in Boston. Crick: The sound that a Japanese camera makes Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery. A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative Practice safe eating - always use condiments. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death. I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded. If electricity comes from electrons... does that mean that morality comes from morons? A hangover is the wrath of grapes. Corduroy pillows are making headlines. Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome? Banning the bra was a big flop. Sea captains don't like crew cuts. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor. Without geometry, life is pointless. When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination. Reading while sunbathing may make you well-red. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I. Alarms: What an octopus is. Dockyard: A physician's garden. Incongruous: Where bills are passed. Pasteurize: Too far to see
You might be a Redneck if: 1. It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, "One nation, under God." 2. You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places. 3. You still say "Christmas" instead of "Winter Festival and/or Holiday" . 4. You remove your hat and bow your head when anyone prays . 5. You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play our National Anthem. 6. You treat Viet Nam vets with great respect , and always have. 7. You've never burned an American flag, but would kick someone's BUTT that did. 8. You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening. 9 You respect your elders and expect your kids to do the same. 10. You'd give your last dollar to a friend.
Make me the cotton by Pastor Dave Scharf One night at a mission in Africa, the pastor overheard one of the native people praying. The prayer was simple but strange. The person prayed, “Lord Jesus, you are the needle. Make me the cotton. Amen.” The missionary asked the man what he meant by his prayer. The man explained that he had visited the mission school that day and watched the women sewing. He noticed that the thread always followed the needle. In the same way, he wanted to follow Jesus wherever he led. “‘Come, follow me,’ Jesus said” (Mark 1:17). At first, that sounds daunting! It’s not always popular to show we are followers of Jesus. People may disagree with us, hate us, take advantage of us, or worse! How will we get the courage to follow Jesus? Realize who Jesus is. He is the Almighty God who can do anything. He does not need anyone. He does not need to do anything. And yet, what did he choose to do? He chose to love you. He chose to come to this earth to live the perfect life you couldn’t live. He chose to give his life on a cross for you. He chose to forgive you and lead you out of hell to heaven. He is the one who says to you, “Follow me.” Our response? We will follow as directly and dependently as the thread follows the needle. Lord Jesus, make me the cotton today! Amen
Self Worth A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200 he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this." He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill. He then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air. "Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air. "My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who do love you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by who we are. You are special, don't ever forget it." Remember to count your blessings, not your problems. If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it. Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, "Wow, what a ride!"
Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote. Benjamin Franklin, 1759 Life should not be measured by the number of breaths we take; but by the moments that take our breath away. How do you spell fish without using letters? }<////;> The difference between genius and stupidity is that there is no bottom limit on stupidity. We shouldn't try to set all the rules for the lowest common denominator.
To educate a man and not his morals is to educate a menace to society. Theodore Roosevelt However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results, Winston Churchill Truthful words are not always beautiful; beautiful words are not always truthful, If you cannot be an athlete, maybe you could be an athletic supporter.