Yet Another Funny Picture Thread (3rd attempt)

Stuff To Ponder...


Getting another set of teeth would be much more useful at 60 than at age 6.

“The starting pay is $40,000. Later it can go up to $80,000.” “Great, I’ll start later.”

Trust science. Studies show that if your parents didn’t have children there’s a high probability you won’t either.

If you’re not called crazy when you start something new, then you’re not thinking big enough.

Only in math problems can you buy 60 cantaloupe melons and no one asks, "What the Hell is wrong with you?"

When the pool re-opens, due to social distancing rules, there will be no water in lanes 1, 3, and 5.

Tip: Save business cards of people you don’t like. If you ever hit a parked car accidentally, just write, “Sorry” on the back and leave it on the windshield.

When I get a headache I take two aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says.

Just once, I want the username and password prompt to say, “Close enough.”

Becoming an adult is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done.

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate one either.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food; no atmosphere.

If you see me talking to myself just move along. I’m self-employed. We’re having a meeting.

“Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo".

I envy people who grow old gracefully; they age like a fine wine. I’m ageing like milk; getting sour and chunky.

Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags, or is it just me?

I hate it when I can’t figure out how to operate the iPad and my tech support guy is asleep. She’s 5 and it’s past her bedtime.

Today’s 3 year-olds can switch on laptops and open their favorite apps. When I was 3, I ate mud.

Tip for a successful marriage: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she’s mowing the lawn.

So you drive across town to a gym to walk on a treadmill?

If you feel like you want to annoy people for the day …. Go to the parking station put your vehicle in reverse to show your reversing lights and just sit there …..

 

I drove 40 miles to the first Super Walmart near me, that happened to be the only store that had my BFG All Terrain tires to put on my Tahoe (I lived on a very steep road with frequent heavy snow, needed the tall nubby tread and I was practiced on spinning the snow out of the tread on those particular tires after a decade of driving on them). Gave it to auto, went shopping with friend, we stopped for lunch at the grill and heard my name over the overhead speaker. The kid had put my truck into one of those, did get it into Park, and left my driver door open. It rolled backwards and bent my door backwards. Insurance instructions in hand I go to check out to find they put on the wrong tires too! Highway tires!

 

LOL, it was a fun road, we used to luge down it in the winter. To be honest downhill was scarier than going uphill in really bad weather.

 

Is he looking out the window or at the microwave…?

 

Oh boy…