After a hard day of firewood hoarding I like to hoard taco's sometimes... Pro tip: doesn't hurt to have a couple behind the seat of the truck either!
You might be a firewood hoarder if: Everywhere you go you 'see' leaners, wood stacks, road side scrounges (unobtainium or not), or that pile the loggers left within easy reach. You Judge the size and type of wood asplundh is chopping at the time you drive by. You wish you had a trailer big enough to take some of the logs they're chipping... You reckon the number of cord in a tree, pile, neighbor's stack when out doing errands having nothing to do with wood. If you point out one-chop-wonders or serious burners when you see cordwood in people's yards. Your kid(s) point out the same The guy who trained/coached you on chainsaws and their use says "when there's a chainsaw in your hands, everything looks like a tree". You ran outta room for wood at your place, and have bargained with friends to store wood at their place. (And you learned that trick from a dude named buzz saw brad) Neighbors ask you to take a tree.down for them (and you do it) You find a good score that is complicated to get, and you think for days about how to get it safely. The guy you got a score from calls you when another tree falls at his place. You're hitting a score, and a guy pulls up and offers more wood at his place. You turn it down for the moment, because you've got more scores than you can currently handle in a timely fashion. There is no justification or reasoning when it comes to necessary hoarding supplies. (Like getting 15 gallons of bar oil while its cheap). When C/S/S wood is a way to get me interested in going to a friend's house. When your kid takes his new girlfriend to his splitting yard on their college campus When your kids college campus has a splitting yard, that he has keys and access to any time he wishes. And he keeps cutting tools there, that are not allowed on campus.... Recreational time with the fam is C/S/S wood for a friend in need, and everyone walks away feeling good about their day. When those days are planned in advance (not just an emergency delivery) and everyone looks forward to. When neighborhood kids stop by, wanting and willing to chuck wood with you (and they come back for more all summer). You talk with glee about how you shafted big petroleum by burning wood this and last season. Your secret santa drops off a load of BL firewood, and you're totally stoked about it. Your saws and tools live in your truck (as previously mentioned here), and their being in your truck doubles the truck's value Touch my truck, and you'll live. Touch my saws and kiss your tookis goobye. Going to a saw shop with money in hand is a sure way to leave without it. You know every saw shop within 30 miles of home. You have an unplanned bit of time available, and figure out which score you hit for a couple quick hours. Your boss states that everyone on your shift should be responsible for clearing trees if one should fall on their watch. And you write a detailed, non bragatory email suggesting there might be a better way to handle that. (Knowing some of the characters who would be weilding said machine of death, and the conditions they would be working in, where even you would have second thoughts about operating said machine). Dropping a huge tree, right where you want it, and hearing the accompanying thud, keeps you going for a week. You've hauled cordwood in your car because that's all you had at the time You almost kill your car, hauling rather overloaded trailer loads of wood. You get a truck to haul the trailer, and begin bending the axle, tongue etc., from slightly overloading the trailer. You regularly test your equipments ability to haul what you put in it... You add quick disconnects to your trailer lights, to make replacing them easier next time a log gets away again. You smile smugly and inwardly when an uneducated wood burner tells you that your dry and covered wood stacks will rot before you can use them. Your neighbor worries that a tornado will dump your cordwood piles onto his house. (Yup, he said that). You exterminate vermin denning under your wood pile with copious amounts of highway flares, and your neighbor/friend comes out to watch the fun with you at 2am. Sca
You have stories that begin witb " I was cutting this tree" or "I was hauling load of wood outta......"
If you actually debate whether to stop and load some blowdown beside the road while on the way alone to drop your 10 month old granddaughter to daycare or get it on the way back from dropping her off! I waited. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
You are pacing around the house Saturday morning wondering how long you should wait before making firewood noise.
You might be a wood hoarder if; you spend more money on saws, splitter, bar oil, fuel for tools than you do heating fuel for your home
Here's my half serious, half joking take on this stuff... Ever since I first heard of foxworthy's "you might be a redneck if" stuff, I've been trying to figure out how I can know for sure if I am a redneck. Now it's the same with this hoarder stuff, there's alotta indicators here, but no sure fire methods of getting a confirmed diagnosis of one's condition, there should be some kind of blood test or something a feller could take so he can know if he really is a "redneck" or "hoarder" or whatever. "Might" and "if" are variables..... we need words like "are" and "definitely" or "for sure" to really get this stuff nailed down, for example: "you are a redneck because you cut up your road kill possum on the hood of your 4x4 truck before you bbq'd it for your daughter's wedding reception".......... P.S I do fit the majority of the "indicators" listed in this thread, (and mosta foxworthy's lists as well.......)
There is a simple way to diagnose yourself…… Just ask yourself this one simple question. “Am I now, or have I ever been, logged on to a online forum that is focused mainly on the topic of hoarding firewood?” The answer given by you is pretty much self explanatory. Why else wood we be here?
You might be a hoarder if... You stop to pick up a split on the road that fell from someones truck You almost wreck your vehicle because you were trying to get a better glimpse of someone's stacks in their yard If your youngest child says, "nothing keeps dad from doing firewood."
if you get a sore neck every time you drive your vehicle.....from spinning and twisting to look at different wood piles....you might be a hoarder
There's probably a series of Rorschach inkblot tests that could be given. For instance, instead of seeing a blotty image of a blushing shapely young woman, you may see a sugar maple tree in full fall color.
I remember when Jeff Foxworthy first had a comedy skit on free TV. He had one joke that went, "If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck." We were indeed watching the working TV sitting on top of the dead console TV. Some time later mom made us take the console TV outside. It was heavy and we were busy farming....so it sat in the front yard a month or two.
