What a terrible break for you and your family. So many things about life and death seem to be mystery in times like what you are going through. Trust in God that the rewards beyond are worth the pain on earth.
By just being around and posting on here, you are a better man than me. With all that going on in your family, it sounds like people will be looking to the rock for support. Be that rock for them.
So sorry to hear of these things, Gary. Please accept our sincere condolences. Better days are ahead. Praying for you and yours.