Thought for the day...

You’ll never know when you need to know what you know.

Speak clearly, if you speak at all; carve every word before you let it fall.
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Part of being sane, is being a little bit crazy.

Disoriented: An Americanized Asian

Earthquake predictors are fault finders.

Life is a hereditary disease.

Nostalgia is what it used to be.

 

Cultivate only the habits that you are willing should master you. Elbert Hubbard

Chickens will come home to roost.

What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.

Whistling girls and crowing hens always come to some bad ends.

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

You know how most packages say, “Open here?” What is the protocol if the package says, “Open somewhere else?”

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

 

Why is it that when you’re driving around looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Make your life a mission, not an intermission. Glasgow

Better to have loafed and lost, than to never have loafed at all.

When in doubt, tell the truth. Mark Twain

Keep cool: anger is not an argument. Daniel Webster

No man is so poor as to have nothing worth giving. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Never overestimate the decency of the human race.

 

Cherish all your happy moments; they make a fine cushion for your old age.

Did you hear about the fellow who said, “I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous?”

A beggar asked for some money for a sandwich. I said, “First, let me see the sandwich.”

Nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it’s time to get up.

Did you ever wonder why there are no father-in-law jokes?

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

Tact is the art of making guests feel at home when that’s where you wish they were.

 

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

If “con” is the opposite of “pro,” then Congress must be the opposite of progress.

Ask not for whom the bell tolls. Let the machine get it.

If your feet smell and your nose runs, you might be upside down.

My weight is perfect. It’s just that I’m too short.

My weight is perfect for my height, which varies.

When your dreams turn to dust, vacuum.

 

Always imitate the behavior of a good winner when you lose.

If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.

Hitch your wagon to a star. Emerson

Don’t ask the barber if you need a haircut.

Don’t tell your friends about your indigestion. “How are you?” is a greeting, not a question.

You must lose a fly to catch a trout.

 

Hit the ball over the fence and you can take your time going around the bases.

Don’t gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don’t go up, don’t buy it. Will Rogers

If you treat people right they will treat you right—90% of the time. Franklin D. Roosevelt

Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell ‘em, “Certainly, I can!” Then get busy and find out how to do it. Theodore Roosevelt

Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground. Theodore Roosevelt

Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you. Carl Sandburg

Remember that there is nothing stable in human affairs; therefore, avoid undue elation in prosperity, or undue depression in adversity. Socrates

 

Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others. Robert Louis Stevenson

It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows.

It is easy to be flexible when one is spineless.

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

Serve locally – Pray globally

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on.

One reason why computers can do more work than people is that they never have to stop and answer the phone.

 

There are 3 ways to get something done; do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your children to do it.

‘Tis better that a man’s own works, than a man’s words should praise him.

A characteristic of a normal child is that he doesn’t act that way very often.

A committee is a life form with 6 or more legs and no brain.

A compromise is the art of dividing the cake in such a way that each one thinks he is getting the biggest piece.

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.

A cynic is a person searching for an honest man with a stolen lantern.