I'm in a completely sexless marriage.....my wife and I have not had sex in about 2 and a half years. She is my everything and continues to lose weight, but she says it's for her own health. She works at the bar in our small town and one day when I picked her up from work..... she smelled like a man.......
Steve, we are all the children of our Lord Jesus Christ. You are my my brother and I love you and believe in you! You can get through this! No need to apologize. Actually, I want to say THANK YOU for believing and trusting in us your FHC family to be here for you. So please continue to vent if needed. I'll be praying for you and your family.
Steve, call Alcoholics Anonymous in your area and got to a meeting. You can go drunk if that's what it takes, but go. You will find only acceptance and you'll hear a lot of stories of others who have fought the demons you're fighting. Here is the link so you can find a meeting: South Dakota AA • Alcoholics Anonymous • SD
I've been around here for awhile and know members here pretty well. I read it as he was glad you got lucky with your wife while picking her up from work then he thought humor was not the right thing here. BTW, swear words here have automatic spell change so substitute frickin' for his apologizing for effing up on your thread with humor. Also, sexless marriages hurt both sides. Not just sex, the connecting and trusting and bonding etc. I am truly sorry for your hard times. Stand up and get back to the guy you want to be, you can do it ! So glad you checked in, you'll be alright friend, hang in there and do your best. Members here are not anonymous people hiding behind a screen name, please take all the offers for an ear or advice sincerely, they are infact real people that are here for you, including me. Do you know how private message or see members that private message you here?
I am a million tomes happier now than with my first wife. I couldn’t trust her, I didn’t like her, and was constantly stressed, worried and burdened with financial, emotional, and physical stress. It was time to split, and it was a healthy choice. Im rarely an advocate for divorce, but sometimes it’s the best choice. Don’t make choices under the influence though. Good luck man, I hope it gets better. You have lots of support here!
These are 2 of the things that i have read n believe in.....they have helped me numerous times in the journey of life. HAVE FAITH...... One night I dreamed a dream. As I was walking along the beach with my Lord. Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, One belonging to me and one to my Lord. After the last scene of my life flashed before me, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that at many times along the path of my life, especially at the very lowest and saddest times, there was only one set of footprints. This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it. "Lord, you said once I decided to follow you, You'd walk with me all the way. But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life, there was only one set of footprints. I don't understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me." He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you Never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you." God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world As it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right If I surrender to His Will; So that I may be reasonably happy in this life And supremely happy with Him Forever and ever in the next. Amen.
I think SD was implying that he thinks his wife is cheating. SD Steve- we only live once. And it's very short. Whatever pain we feel is temporary, even if we live to 100. Power through the low spots as best you can. It'll be over before you know it, and let the end come on it's own. There are nasty chemicals in your brain that make that you feel bad, that exit your body only through tears. Use this knowledge and embrace the tears. But do yourself a favor and find someplace private when they start to flow. Don't ignore your instincts, and start to pay close attention to how your wife is acting. Ask her lots of questions and engage her often. Pop into her job and hang out (I know, a bar isn't the best place for you right now). If she is cheating, you can find out just by paying close attention, and talking to her. And not quitting on yourself. If she is, let her go with every bit of grace you can muster, and don't fight it. You found her, you can find another. On the other hand, take her lead and start to work on your own self improvement. Step one is to stop wallowing in your own self-pity. You may need help, you may not. Either way, just tell yourself that you don't want the current life you are leading, and lead it in another direction. Exercise helps. So does fresh air. Now here's the weird part of my post:. Watch Forrest Gump. The unedited version. Watch how he handles the sorrows in his life. By doing. The wisdom you need is right there in that story.
Take it the way you want but in my opinion that gross post wasn't needed. Good luck with all that's going on man. 43 years of hard drinking hasn't been all that great and hasn't done me any favours.
In full agreement with you Loon . Just kind of blew the ship right out of the water there. Best of luck to you SD Steve .
Ugly times sometimes call for ugly measures. And so much for all the calls for sharing what he is going through... Note the time of the post, and please tell me you've never exercised less than perfect judgement during your times in the bottle. Criticism is not understanding here. Don't feel bad about this Steve. I know exactly what you are saying, and it's not easy. The last thing you need to do now is feel bad about what a few strangers on the internet are judging you about.
looking at all the post on here,in such a short while there are a lot on hear that want to help you.a lot of people have been though it and come out good,keep at getting better all here to help you, and you take care.in sure all will turn out ok in the end,
Agreed . Life is ugly as hell sometimes. It is what it is and some people never have to deal with tough situations ,,,,,, and don’t want to hear about them or wouldn’t understand them if they did hear about them. Maybe this thread should be locked from public view and only those who have posted can view it. I went through a tough time in my late 20s and here a few years ago . A good friend told me ,,,, “ At birth you’re dealt a poker hand of cards ,,,, it’s how well you play them out is how the game ends “ ! That has stuck with me forever ! Keep your head up Steve. Always keep in the back of your head that some things aren’t meant to be. I admire your willfulness to want to work it out and sober up.
Steve, talk to whoever will listen. You have the answers you need and talking will help you find them. Doesn't matter what anyone else thinks when you talk about details of your situation, keep talking to anyone that will listen. You don't necessarily need someone to tell you what to do, just someone to listen and give support. Work through this process and never give up. You are a great person and people care about you.
