The other funny picture thread

Win - Win

 

Honey-do list

 

That eye contact makes this all the better!

 

Thoughts for today......................



* IF MY BODY IS EVER FOUND ON A JOGGING TRAIL JUST KNOW THAT I WAS MURDERED SOMEWHERE ELSE AND DUMPED THERE.



* RESPECT YOUR ELDERS. THEY GRADUATED FROM SCHOOL WITHOUT THE INTERNET.




* WHY DO I HAVE TO PRESS "1" FOR ENGLISH? DID AMERICA MOVE?



* BEHIND EVERY ANGRY WOMAN STANDS A MAN WHO HAS ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT HE DID WRONG.



* BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL MAN STANDS A SURPRISED MOTHER IN LAW.



* VEGETARIAN: ANCIENT TRIBAL NAME FOR THE VILLAGE IDIOT WHO CAN'T HUNT, FISH, OR LIGHT FIRES!



* I LOOK AT PEOPLE AND SOMETIMES THINK "REALLY? -- THAT'S THE SPERM THAT WON?"



* IN MY DEFENSE I WAS LEFT UNSUPERVISED.



* IF GUNS KILL PEOPLE, THEN PENCILS MISSPELL WORDS, CARS MAKE PEOPLE DRIVE DRUNK, AND SPOONS MAKE PEOPLE FAT.



* MY DECISION-MAKING SKILLS CLOSELY RESEMBLE THOSE OF A SQUIRREL WHEN CROSSING THE ROAD.



* SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER LEFT UNSAID -- AND I USUALLY REALIZE IT RIGHT AFTER I SAY THEM.



* CAMPING: WHERE YOU SPEND A SMALL FORTUNE TO LIVE LIKE A HOMELESS PERSON.



* I THOUGHT GETTING OLD WOULD TAKE LONGER.



* A WISE MAN ONCE SAID - - NOTHING.

 

Sounds like the Milwaukee WI Meth bust this week.

 

Meanwhile in Canada...

 

HALLOWEEN ! ! !

 

Inertia. . . .

 

When your date only orders an appetizer and claims she isn't hungry.

 

:sings: There Goes Halloween, There Goes Halloween. Halloween. Halloween. Locked in this place, we call home -

 

Fellow bird doesn’t understand personal space.