QUESTION FOR THE MASSES

West central. Parke county.

 

I know they are excuses, but I am too have my ducks in a row type of person. I know you just do it, but how do you responsibly do it is my hangup. My wife is basically crippled by arthritis and pushes to move constantly. At times I want to move just to not hear it even one more time. I however am the sole provider and need an income, health insurance, and to assure a basic quality of life with a degree of stability. How does one just sell off and go? We haven't had an easy go in life and couldn't face myself if on impulse just blew it and end up with nothing because of a half baked pipe dream. It sucks being the cranky responsible dream crusher that needs to look at the reality of things. I just don't know what the right thing to do is and don't want to end up a resentful lost everything struggling old person depending on the system because of a wanderlust dream.

 

I grew up here in central PA. Pretty much all of my family is close by. My wife and here family are right here too. It's funny, I always thought I couldn't wait to move away until I got old enough to appreciate my location. We've got several state parks within a 30 minute drive, a very big lake within 30 minutes, a major university within 20 minutes and several towns less than a half hour away. We get all four seasons and are surrounded by woodland and what we call mountains (foothills to those of you out west). I can still go out and leave a leak off my porch and no one cares cause no one sees me doing it. If we wanna live the city life for a day Harrisburg is 1 1/2 hrs, philly is 3, Pittsburg is 2 1/2, New York about 5ish, baltimore and DC 3 to 3 1/2. That's close enough for me.

Even if I wanted I couldn't move very far cause my wife is too close with her family.

 

I too am suffering from extreme rheumatoid arthritis. I may have to look at disability. I absolutely hate to do it but.... this is what got me to thinking about relocating. The cold hurts me really bad. Someone above mentioned renting somewhere first, that is very wise. Amazing how fast it goes by.... I finally have this place the way I want it, paid off, and I’m too crippled to enjoy and take care of it. I’m looking. If I make it 30 more I at least want to try and enjoy it. I hope you and your wife find what makes you comfortable.

 

It is a hard decision. I wish I had my ducks in a row but I don’t have ducks - I have squirrels- and they are drunk.

 

Born and raised in west Michigan. We have had a cottage in northeastern lower Michigan for several years and love the area.

This past summer we got the ‘offer we couldn’t refuse’ on our house downstate. We decided what the heck, sold that place, bought a different house on the water around the corner from our cottage, fixed it up and moved in just as snow started to fly in November.

My employer lets me work from anywhere, and my days of living out of a suitcase are mostly behind me, though I do have to travel occasionally. Now it’s a couple days every couple months instead of being on a first name basis with the airport gate agents.

My property taxes are half of what they used to be, no traffic to speak of, clean air, not as hot and humid in the summers and my living room window looks out over the lake. On top of that, the area is pretty much empty 335 days out of the year. Once we sell the cottage this summer we’ll be mortgage free also. That gets me closer to my goal of retirement at 55 (or at least retirement from the IT world).

 

I really hear what you are saying. Unless you have a secure offer of a job that you are going to enjoy doing until retirement, the decision is very hard. There is also moving and having to make all new friends as well. My SIL and her husband moved from the dampness of the coast to what they thought was a dryer climate. It was except for the ice fogs in the winter which was just as bad for her arthritis. The area didn't have provisions for senior help living so they had to move again when that became a necessity. There are a lot factors to consider.

 

Speaking of retirement, My aunt and Uncle lived in Cape Elisabeth Maine, He grew up in Poland, ME, not far from the Auburn airport. He sold his business and retired early, and moved to Leesburg, Florida in an over 55 community. I believe he had a good friend who already lived there.
My Parents started the snowbird thing a few years ago, first renting a house for the winter near my aunt and uncle, then buying a villa in another over 55 community nearby.
My dad would love to live there year round, but my mom won't go along with that because she wants to see her 8 grandkids, 4 here, and 4 in lake Placid, NY. They're currently working on selling their house on York Beach in Maine, and the home in Newbury, MA, my dad isn't going to last much longer, and my mom wants to own a condo near here so I can be responsible for her and she won't have to do yardwork.
Eventually the house in florida will be sold, but for now they're enjoying getting away from winter.
my retirement will have to be scheduled, probably 5 minutes before the undertaker gets there.

 

That is something that really spooks me about blind leaps. The level of crushed one would feel taking the leap and ending up no better or worse for my wife's health issues. As far as friends, outside of my contact at work the FHC is the most I usually do since we are a very hermitish couple. Even if she had to go off for the months of winter by herself to just actually experience what it would do to her body and then make an informed decision would help. I just employer /insurance/income wise could not go on an exploratory 4 month excursion and it not send us into a tailspin.

 

That might be the thing to do, if you could do it economically. Send her off to bake in the desert for a season. Is she active enough to be a caretaker/companion for an elderly person, some kind of temporary employment?

 

Sorry your RA is so bad. New Mexico is where I'd go. You can pick your climate, depending on elevation.

 

I was there earlier this winter. I really liked it. I own 2 places in a 55+ retirement community in lake wales Florida. I am in the process of selling them to friends. But I will probably get another. They are nothing fancy just prefab homes on small lots. What makes it nice is the fact it is a gated community and all the amenities you can imagine. Association fees are $2100 per year. Cheap living for what you get. Many people come there in the winter from more northern climes. When you get a place there you actually own the property. All the people are super nice. Places come up for sale there all the time for cheap because sadly people pass away and the kids sell it. My dad calls Florida “God’s Waiting room”... below is a link if anyone is interested. When I go down I always help some older people around clean off their roofs from the winter leaves. Just good people.

Saddlebag Lake Resort - Florida Home Page

 

Thanks for that. I actually cancelled winter just after noon today. Over it.

 

I had to re-read it and then laugh at what I first quickly and incorrectly read. I thought you asked is she attractive to be a caretaker or companion for someone! Are you implying she should get a sugar daddy!?!? Then I re-read it , what the hell was I thinking!

 

What I’ve learned is unless you are wealthy or have great insurance and long term care insurance you better live close to family if at all possible, (remember the story about the grasshopper and the ant?) I know 4 older couples right now (65-75 years old) who are forced to move half way across the country on short notice to where there kids are because they can not care for themselves. It’s not easy for the parents or the grown children to take on this new phase of life.

I’ve got an uncle who has always done whatever he wanted, I’m concerned about how his later years will turnout, no family, no wife or kids, no money, moves all the time east coast to west coast and everywhere in between.

I love my career, love my family and friends, love my church and church family. I’ll be here until I die, God calls me elsewhere, or the Rapture occurs.

 

The masses are asses!

Seriously though, I enjoy having 4 distinct seasons. I'm getting tired of shoveling and snow blowing, but plowing doesn't bother me. I dont like heat, so being somewhere that gets stupid hot for 6-9 months sounds like hell on earth to me.

 

I live in a house that's less than 1/4 mile from the house I was raised in and lived in for nearly 30 years. Except for four years of college (less than 100 miles away) I have been here my whole life. If I were to move, I would try to find a place with a little less snow, a little longer growing season, a large wooded acreage, and a minimum of bugs, heat, critters and natural disasters. There is an advantage to New England, except of the occasional bad weather, we are pretty much exempt from stifling heat, snakes, earthquakes, big spiders, tornadoes, gators, hurricanes and all that less-pleasant stuff. Plus, all my hobbies and interests revolve around being here or in a very similar environment. My wife and I both hate heat more than anything else - for her it's a health issue.