My three year old asks if I have any wood that she can help carry in (I do), but somehow forgets to come back for the third trip each time. I'll give her another year or two before that bothers me.
Here’s my youngest helper! Here’s the others. My 13 year old daughter doesn’t have to help too help much. She has plenty of other chores and responsibilities. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
My wife and I are raising 2 teenage grandsons and they aren't excited about helping but not totally unwilling either. I've found that if I work them equally afa time and only about 2 hours at a time I hear less complaints. They work hard because I tell them what needs to be done and they will be finished when done. I also only have them help me do things that I can't do myself reasonably. The oldest is a bodybuilder and goes to the gym at least 6 days a week, I tell him I'm doing him a favor by making him work but he doesn't buy into that.
It’s good to know we aren’t alone as parents. I read this to my wife and we rolled. Could have been our daughters!
My 12 year old and 4 year old (typically) are my You know, people give parents grief, but for the most part (and yes there are exceptions), parents really try to do the best they can. It is not an easy job, and society does not make it better by insisting this way is the only way to do something. They mean well; going by their own experience, but my four daughters are unique, and no one knows them like I do. I have a friend that is probably one of the worst mothers I ever interact with on a routine basis. (In comparison to a mother that beats or kills her child or something like that). But Kym tries, and the reason she fails, her Mom died when she was 2, her father died when she was 7, and she went to live with an aunt that was physically abusive. The short of it is; she had no mothering role model. How could she be a mother when she never saw what one was? So many other Mom's can say the same thing. It is one of the reasons I am a strong advocate for drug addicts. I have been asked if I had drug addiction problems myself, and honestly I have never even tried the stuff. I never wanted too, but today orphaned children are being raised in foster homes and by grandparents at unprecedented levels and the long term outcome of that is NOT good. My home: I don't know. If parent raising was all mine, I would push my kids to their limits and they would probably be dead by now. My wife Katie would keep them in a bubble. Thus our home is somewhere between the two extremes and I think that is where it should be, run to Mom for a banged knee, and me just glad that they are running...even if it is with scissors.
LodgedTree, I agree, most parents try to do their best.. Also hard to give advice because YOU know your kids. Most teenagers nowadays are addicted to their devices. I try to change password daily.. Give daughter (12 yo) list of chores for password.. I try not to pick a battle unless its necessary BUT once I pick battle I won't lose! Password seems to be good motivation for know
If you want to get a snapshot of your future I will send you my 17 year old daughter..... Although EVERYONE else gives glowing reports.....so respectful.......so helpful....... Did Dr. Jekyll ever find a cure for Mr Hyde ?????
You will get better help from kids if you switch kids with your friends. Kids seem to be better behaved with adults not their parents.
Something strange happens the older they get, the less interested they are in helping. My kids were thrilled with hauling wood and even splitting it a few years ago, now I might as well be asking for them to wipe up vomit with barehands.
Sometimes it takes shocking reality to realize maybe Katie and I are not that bad at being parents after all. Today I woke up to find a husband and wife in an affluent home in our county were arrested for murder after forcing their ten year old daughter to kneel on the tiled floor, raise her hands as her mother and step-father whipped her stomach and ribs with a belt. Months of this caused something the Medical Examiner called, "Battered Child Syndrome". The severity of the whippings over months caused it to lacerate the child''s liver. Some days I wish Maine had the death penalty, but then realize it is best such laws are done BEFORE such emotional crimes takes place, that way sentencing is done on sound judgement and not emotion into a particular case. I am not saying I do not believe in the death penalty, I am just saying those discussions should be done before crimes like this occur. I have been where that ten year girl has been, but thankfully just had a few broken ribs. I am going to just hug my daughters and not be too hard on myself for giving them an easy lot in life.
A little hard work has "never" killed or hurt anyone, abuse is a completely different animal. I did many things around the home and my Father was a VERY Hard disciplinarian, and I've met the back end of many belts! . But needless to say, the chores I had never hurt me...
Never got hit, never got needles. Abuse tends to run in families, passed on from generation to generation as a learned gestalt. Too often alcoholism is also involved. We had chores but with 5 of us kids and with them being rotated "to be fair" , they weren't exactly piled on with no time for anything else. You helped out quick and got out of Dodge. Do your few allotment of chores and the rest of the day was yours. Not a hard concept.
They are your children so you are free to raise them in any manner you wish. You can pile gifts on them and let them sit and live the life of Riley; that is your choice. However, the parents you mentioned were not just discipling their child; they were abusing that child and would have done so regardless. There are a lot of evil people in this world that harm their children; I have read many such stories since the internet gives us a window on the world now. Each one of those stores makes my blood boil and I want to punish such person even though I probably couldn't in real life. Giving your children chores to do is not child abuse. It is important. You have to teach children responsibility so you have to find some way to do that even if you just let them sit and live the life of Riley. Otherwise, you end up with what we have now, several generations of people that think they shouldn't have to do anything; that they can go to a job and just sit all day and be on FaceBook or Twitter or Snap Chat. And I am not making that up. Employers are now having to deal with these children that their parents had a hard life and wanted to make sure their children did nothing. It hurts society and we are now paying the price. I grew up poor in a large family and we worked our arses off but we also had a family bond that I am not seeing now. Families are just people living in the same household. It shocks me when I speak to other people and see that family now means nothing. We raised a garden not for fun but to survive and that meant being out in the hot sun hoeing the garden for a few hours. Not fun but we had a responsibility if we wanted to eat. Being a parent is not an easy job; it takes work. Giving chores to a child is not child abuse; it is part of wanting your child to grow into a responsible adult that will be a contribution to society and not a burden.
