Welcome to this weeks meeting of the farwood hoarder anonymous group. Today we have a new member so would you please give Butcher a warm welcome to our group. ( Muffled grunts of welcome from the attendees) Butcher would you care to come up and tell us about your self and why you decided to join our little group. (I approach the podium from my seat in the back of the room with a sense of embarrassment and apprehension) Hi, my name is Butcher and I am a farwood hoarder. For years I have been gathering and saving wood for 1 reason or another. At first it was only for burning in an out door far pit for cooking and my need to relax at the end of a work day or a weekend gathering of friends and family. Then I discovered I could provide heat in my home with wood and not have to pay or rely on the gas man to keep me warm in the cold months. (Many nods of sympathy from the attendees of the meeting) As time passed in my quest to warm my house and body with wood I have come to a point where I am now in possession of css farwood to provide me with heat for at least 6 or 7 years depending on the weather. (It was at that moment that several hands were raised from some of the folks in the crowd so I pointed to 1 gentleman who clearly had sawdust completely covering the logo on his cap and what looked like bar oil staining the calluses of his raised hand) That sounds like a noble quest, but why did you choose to come to our meeting of FWHA today? Well, just this morning I replied, I was on my way home from town on my muddy gravel road in what was a drenching heavy down pour of rain and wind. In the distance I saw something protruding out on to the road from the weeds along the ditch. I couldnt tell what it was because the wipers could hardly clear the wind shield fast enough due to the rain and wind. As I came close enough it was clearly a small log that had fell from a load off of some ones truck. I drove another 20 yards when my brain made my foot hit the brake peddle and I put the truck in R and backed up to this small log. As I opened the truck door the wind almost ripped it out of my grasp and the rain hit me like a load of bird shot but I went to the back of the truck and retrieved this very small maple log and got back into my warn and dry truck. As I proceeded on my journey home I tried to justify my actions with reasons like maybe it was a hazard to traffic and I might be saving someone some grief by removing such a roadway hazard. But as I approached my driveway I came to a point where I had to be totally honest with myself about the whole deal. The 1 and only reason I stopped and picked up that piece of farwood is because I knew it would heat my home and body for a day in the winter months. That is why I came to this meeting today. Any more questions?
Well done Butcher, well done! No matter the reason or justification the bottom line is always constant. You will be warm another day and you are one H**L of a funny and descriptive writer!! Love it as always!
you did good. No telling what that little feller might of done. Laying there all cold, wet and alone. Separated from his family for the 1st time, far from where he grew up! Good on you for stopping and giving a little stray a home. You sir, I salute!
Hi. Umm Butcher. I liked to think I'm a hoarder. But apparently ...... Not. I don't even have enough wood for next year yet. Not a very good hoarder. Huh? Questions.? Umm. Is this cold beer I'm drinking okay at this meeting?
Well Butcher that was a pretty good read. So how do feel about this addiction you have. Is this something that could need a treatment of some kind. Or the heck with it and just keep hoarding and keeping warm and feeling good about the fact you did it all your self. Nothing like free BTU's.
Everywhere I look I see farwood...so many potential BTUs, so little time. Just hope I don't get rear ended someday stopping to pick up a "stray"...
Hi Butcher! Welcome to the most elite group in the world. It is good to admit you have an addiction, but for farwood addiction, I'm afraid there is no cure. Your best course is to continue on and feed the addiction as you see fit. How much you hoard is completely up to you. I too have the addiction being 6 to 8 heating seasons ahead (2021/22 to 2023/24) depending on the weather and other conditions. Is it enough? Probably not! So keep gathering and hoarding and know that for every piece, great or small, will end up as viable BTU's keeping the gasman away for many many years. Even keeping the electric bills at a much lower level than those who run electricity, propane, fuel oil, or natural gas for heat. And when there is a power outage where all of those who use electric, propane, fuel oil, and natural gas for heat will be without since the key component in all of those is electricity for them to function, you will always have heat. Doesn't just that thought give you a nice warm and fuzzy feeling? :stacke::stacke::stacke::stacke::stacke::stacke::stacke::stacke::stacke::stacke::stacke::stacke::stacke::stacke::stacke::stacke::stacke::stacke::stacke::stacke::stacke::stacke::stacke:
Butcher, it's not like you went out looking for it....you were just on your way home, right? And, I mean, it doesn't cost anything extra to stop and load it even if it is only one piece, right? You can skip the rest of the meetings.
That was a funny read Butcher, It really does underline how we all feel though eh? Btus, firewood, trees.... they are everywhere! I went for a hair cut the other day and noticed the hairdressers husband was trimming the apple tree. We chatted (I became late for my appointment) and when I came out there was a nice little pile of apple cut offs for me to throw in the truck. Not much but its btus...
Butcher you have an amazing sense of humor... but i cant help you with this addiction. .. its 67 in house time to stoke fire..
For once, a support group/meeting that we're all proud to be a part of..... Good read Butcher, glad you're here with us!
I went out to dinner with another couple a few months back. I was driving the truck with all four of us in it, we were on a country road and spied a single split that must have fallen off of a truck and backed up to get it. My wife explained my illness to them, they already knew, but she just had to say it.
