I Know I'm Getting Old because...........................

1. I talk to myself, because sometimes I need expert advice.

2. Sometimes I roll my eyes out loud.

3. I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pizzing me off.

4. My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance of idiots that needs work.

5. The biggest lie I tell myself is, "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

6. When I was a child I thought nap time was punishment. Now it's like a mini vacation.

7. The day the world runs out of wine is just too terrible to think about.

8. Even duct tape can't fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound!

9. Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller.

10. If God wanted me to touch my toes, HE would've put them on my knees.

11. When the kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes.”

12. At my age "getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

 

I listen to a radio station playing some great music and find out its the oldies station.

 

I can remember my name, where I was born, where I grew up, who my (some) relatives are.......but I can't remember what I had for breakfast an hour after I'm done eating it.

 

I must be getting old. My tolerance for bull chit is at an all time low.

 

You know you're getting old when

 

The moment I had to refer to the Urban Dictionary to decode a sex term.

I completely understand why my grandfather got drunk during the holidays. It never made sense until last year. I thought he was a raging alcoholic. Nah, it was all a plan.

The moment I realized the kids in their 20s could be my kids.

The moment I realized the kids in their 20s are the worst generation and stupid. (Those in their 20s will understand this in 20 years. Don't be offended. It's a cycle.)

"Get off my lawn." Unless you bring food and beer.

The moment I realized that I have reached the pinnacle of freedom - The age where I am too old to care. Zero fear. No inhibitions. I can say and do what I want because friends and family now feel sorry for the eccentric cat lady. I could rob a bank and my family would be like, "Awwww...well, you know...she was bored." I've reached Doc Brown status.

 

it takes you all night to do what you used to do all night.............................

 

All night, yes all night.

 

You may be an old fart if you remember:
Party line phone systems
Soda cans that needed a can opener or the pull tab
Putting bread bags on your feet so they stayed dry in the winter
Televisions that you had to turn a dial to change the channel (slowly you moron)
Stringing popcorn for a Christmas decoration

 

Must be older than dirt... I can remember my folks excitement when we turned on our first black and white TV.

 

You guys must be old, but I must have been poor growing up cause I remember having a black and white tv and one that had the turn nob.

 

And I remember not having TV, nor did any of my neighbors. Also, not having anything but a snow scoop and a shovel to dig out with after a snow storm. And then there were these:

 

Love # 5 and # 8

 

Larry, we had one of those.
I remember not having a TV too, and also the first color set we got.

 

Just think of all of the things that have been created since we were kids... it's a very long list.

 

Let's not forget the best invention ever made. The microwave!

 

Yes, my mom was born home in the livingroom. She recalls being given the first home on her street to have a light bulb. Before she passed, men had traveled to the moon, and organ transplants were common. What is next? Time travel maybe.