What's up today (bullchiting) thread.

Holy crap....This is not easy, I feel for guys and gals that do it. I have had my dad living with us since monday and I feel like I want to be an alcoholic. My relationship I have had with him over the last 20 yrs has not been a great one. Ever since he divorced my mom 20+ years ago he has never been the same. He's a miserable man! But, I could not let him go without, he needed a roof over his head and some food on the table. It's affecting my wife and I to the point that we know at some point if this continues the balloon will burst. I don't know how elder care givers do it.

 

Hang in there My IS heats my home . It will work out in the end.

 

My IS heats my home Remember when you first moved in with your wife and you learned to live with each other. You both are going to have to learn to live with your dad all over again. It will be rough but you will never regret having the time to be with him. It wouldn't hurt though to have someone outside come in and do chores with him, take him shopping or to medical appts. Not all the time but once in a while just to give you both a break from each other. If he has an outing separate from you, it gives him something to tell you that you don't already know. hang in there.

 

Yesterday on our trip we went past lots and lots of green trees with hits of brown and yellow but as we pulled into a rest stop for the dogs, this is what we found. Another week and they should be all red. I am thinking someone imported and planted these as I don't think they are native to this area.





still learning to use my phone as a camera so please excuse the finger in the first picture.

 

Woodwidow, can't get it big enough to see but those are maple trees my guess would be sugar or autumn glory... A few more weeks and my state will be that... and it will take an hour to go 20 miles because of people stopping to take photos Sure are pretty though..

 

Seeing as we were dodging rain drops, I didn't think to get close enough to take a picture of the leafs. If we are down in the next couple of weeks, I'll stop and get another picture.

 

Nice, good job done right there!

 

My IS heats my home, Do you have a senior center near by. I'm not talking about a place to live, but a senior center that has activities, and access to senior resources. One thing available in many are social worker support. Not just for your Dad, but for you and your wife. You can learn about having realistic limits, controlling behaviors, and how to deal with and avoid guilt. If Dad causes intolerable or an abusive environment, he will need to placed where he is safe and his needs are met, but also he will not be allowed to be controlling in your life. Remember, in order to be successful in meeting your Dad's needs, you first must be successful in meeting your own.

 

A long day today. Alway interesting when you spend three more hours than you had planned. Can't wait for a little down time. I'm going to have to spend some of that down time moving some wood in! We have had some nice dry weather after a couple spells of rain. Might have to get started this weekend.

 

Spent a few hours in the shop making walnut sawdust. Turned my fingertips purple.

 

Great idea.

 

That was well said, thankyiu

 

I know what you mean and would understand that an outsider caregiver could tolerate some of the things I mentioned.
But hear this, my wife texts me at work just after the mailman came yesterday. My dads daily "excitement" is getting the mail and this was the first time seeing our mailman since being with us. Just after the mailman handed my dad the mail and started down the front steps my dad says to him, "why are you so fat?, you walk everyday you shouldn't be fat".
This is just some of the things he thinks of and says, he can't hold his tongue. When I confronted him when I came home he denied the whole thing happened. And this is just one example, I could type this stuff all day long

 

IS, I understand, my dad who was a great father, as he has aged and health deteriorates, diabetes and losing his memory, his decorum, never his strength, trust me, has gone out the window! Most of conversations do not end positive. Sad, and dad's know how to push your buttons! This would be harder if not great father.. I will keep your family in thought and prayers.. try to shield your wife best you can

 

You've definately got your hands full IS. Your Dad reminds me of an uncle... when we'd go for a visit... always an enjoyable time.. ... he got into a habit of telling our 10 yr old daughter "how come you're so fat" ... annnnnd... then we'd ride home hearing her asking us why the uncle was so mean...

Hope you can find a good place for him soon. One that also makes you OK too.

 

Friday. Finally.

Going to light the firepit tonight and roast some hotdogs and make s'mores with the kids this evening...