How to tell if you are a redneck.........................

You know you're an EXTREMEredneck when...

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.'

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines.'

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.


And in closing....

Two good ol' boys in an Alabama trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local Nissan plant.

After a while, the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday
and make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"

The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it would make us even!"


NOW ALL Y'ALL HAVE A GOOD DAY!

 

The joke is hilarious
There is no Nissan plant in Alabama though, Mississippi yes.

 

....if you find yourself staring at a orange juice container because it reads "concentrate"......

 

Hey now,steppin on some toes here!
kiddin, never done that...yet

 

I'll hafta peel that red duct tape off and try this...assuming you give it a light coat of red paint?

 

If your wife's earrings double as fishing lures...

 

Do you clean 'em up before giving them back to her or just let her fillet 'em out?

 

if your garage is twice as many square feet as your house...


UH OH!

 

x2

 

My first car had floorboards made out of the 'drive up phone' signs that used to be above pay phones. A friends dad worked for Ameritech as a pay phone tech and had a bunch of those laying around. I also used roofing tar to help keep my feet dry on the rain. Throw down a carpet remnant on top of that mess and it was good to go.

That same car has duct tape covering up rust holes on the doors.

 

I have done the duct tape, put it over the holes, ratle can it to sorta match, good as new!

My truck has some sort of sign for the driver's side floorboard. I haven't "repaired" the body rot yet, though.

Greg

 

yep. foil tape got me through an inspection this year
probably do the same next year too