I have to give credit to a therapist for that one. I was told this about 8 years ago and the phrase never sunk in until this last break up. "We are only responsible for our choices and not others." Once I accepted this, the 'letting go' became very freeing.
There, Now you need to move on. You'll be much better once her brother shows up and helps her move. Her not letting you help her is sending a strong message. As you said, she has drawn the line. Take the dog and go camping etc. Secure the bank accounts, then after the move, change the locks. Later, stock the fridge with only things you like. Good luck, remember we are here for you.
You said it man don't bottle it up vent! let poison out. So you can move forward.. One more let it out... let it go... don't give her free rent in your head, your mind is yours. you would not give someone free rent in apartment don't do it in your mind! Hey all things end bad or they wouldn't end get you better then find a good wife and it's a blessing... life is short spend it with loving supporting people you enjoy!
Front porch after midnight.... Or on your time... Lock change time.... That's the nice thing about those kwikset Smarkkey system. Change key on the fly... Good luck!
x2, yeah that is rent in your head. put it out.. change lock.. she moved out... your not a landlord you do not need to secure it.
bocefus78, I'm a little late to your thread, man. Sorry for this hand you've been dealt. Happy you've been able to vent- FHC is certainly more than farwood and saws... Everyone has covered everything I was thinking to say to you; compassionate minds think alike.... I have a question, and I don't mean for this to be condemning- how soon did you notice, I mean really notice her behavior? As a former depression sufferer, I'm pretty good at picking up on the signs in close friends and relatives; it's a slow progression towards personal failure. I eventually put together that I was holding on to my failures and expectations for me from my family... I had to make a clean break from that crap. Not sure where I'm going w/ this, but... Oh yeah- when you feel you've put in some time to heal, I say be vigilante of the next move(i.e. the next woman)- study on it- get a sense of the family history/ strengths/weaknesses. Consider a test of the next one's fortitude, a situation upon which you may gauge her(better be a 'her'!) reaction. Not being sneaky, but doing yer homework. I realize it's a little ways off in the distance, just trying help you see that the necessary redirection of your focus might start by reassessing some "people reading" skills. It helped me a bunch to do this. After all, my ex-wife brought a bag of my clothes to me in the hospital(thought I was having a heart attack) and said, "don't come home... " I knew we were finished for some time, and my concerns about her cheating were later confirmed, but since I had left "depression" behind, I hit the ground running in short time.... Met the woman who eventually became my current wife not long after!!!!! And she LOVES to split, stack, & burn wood( and throw darts, to boot!) You've got brothers and sisters here, bo (& Great Uncle and Aunts, too) you and every other member should know this- and it warms my heart and fills up my eyes when I read several pages about one of us struggling. So, ahem.... hold up, got something else in my eye..... Chin up, Sir- boot straps and all that stuff- we're gonna be here for you and for each and every one of us!!!! Ok, I digress... Eric VW
Bo, if you haven't, it might not be a bad idea to circle back and see if "Miss I just want to be independent again" has really told you the whole story or if she possibly bumped into Superman at this job she is going to stick around for, the one that pays less than where she came from. I know it won't make a difference in the relationship but if that may be the case it would give you closure. Just Sayin'
But at that does that do any more on closure or just add fuel to the fire. Human nature I know, but for curiousity only... By I'd vote let bygones be bygones... And move forward and learn from this time...as Canadian border VT has said rent space is expensive. GL
She's looking for a new job soon she says. Bout time she does. She didn't like it, but wouldn't do chit about it other than complain. Lots of losers there from the sound of it. Including management. Thats not the reason she is staying. I'll find out eventually. At the moment, I don't care.
