All stoves and set ups are different. so temps are somewhat relative. You have to learn your stove and your set up and trust it. That said, I too sought others experience to try to get to that comfort level with my stove and setup. Back in the old days, when I installed my Buck, 1982, I was on my own. In 2011 when I installed my new EPA Hampton, I got lots of good info and advise. Now, well, I know my stove. When the Hampton is cruising, the probe, internal temp is 600 and stove top with convection air blowing over the top of it is 500- 600. The Buck, well, me and that old dog have been together so long that we just wing it. Being an insert, it is hard to measure temps, but I have a surface therm on the glass (wire messh covers it so the therm sticks) and one on the cast door. When the old dog is cruising, the glass therm runs about 550 and the cast door therm runs 450. Again, it is all relative and you kind of have to figure out what looks good, feels good and then relate that to the temps on your probes. Then you can go by that. I know I have left a lot of questions here, but that has been my experience from 40 years of burning. Oh, never had a flue fire, ever, in 40 years. But then a fire chief cant really have a flue fire.....just not acceptable.
What I have dug up is that internal temps have to be at least 250 degrees which falls in line with what most of you are saying.
The surface needs to be 225 or so to avoid condensation and do not think 25o internal is going to be enough for that.